Episode Transcript
Speaker 0 00:00:03 Hi, and welcome to does this make me local, a podcast about aging as gracefully as possible when you're just not ready for two 40 something year old friends will find themselves kind of straddling that really odd period of time when aging and everything that is associated with is starting to become a much bigger part of our lives. We're definitely curious, but at the same time, rather terrified about aging. I'm Schiff. I'm a health science nerd and pop culture themes, and I'm SIM and adult and weighting obsessed with finance and self-help books. We're going to be talking about the stereotypes of aging and how they affect us. And we'll also be doing some deeper dives into some interesting topics, such as what it's like to get old in the society dating when you're older and scientific advancements in anti-aging products and even evolution and scientific thinking around aging and throughout it all we chat rant laugh about or adulting mishaps of which there are so, so, so many. So join us as we navigate our second quarter-life crisis.
Speaker 0 00:01:08 Hi, so welcome to this week's episode of this is making me a little cold. The topic I wanted to raise today is the article that came out about a week ago, or maybe three days ago, last week, whatever the point is, timestamps Jill, it was recent and it's about Kerrianne Moss saying that, you know, when she turned 40, all the kinds of roles she was getting was grammar rules. And I don't know about you, but it, uh, it boggled my mind that this in this, like what, see, I can't even speak coherently now because I was just so flabbergasted by the story. I don't understand. I don't understand why they were offering her like grandmother rules.
Speaker 0 00:02:02 It doesn't make any sense. I mean, I guess she'd be a hot grandma. She wouldn't be mother at 40. Um, but yeah, no, I just wanna understand, like, as in what is it about age, like the number that sort of makes people sort of go, okay, she's no longer leading an actress material and then they just sort of go directly into the fact that, you know, Oh, now she's ready to be a grandma because obviously at age 40, what else would you be? I know it's just so crazy. Basically. She's not become fuckable anymore, according to like some sort of Hollywood like standard. Right. It's just so, so wait. So is there someone who actually just stands around with the list of all the actresses names and keeps track of the birthdays? They turn 40 and then sort of immediately moves them into the non fuckable.
Speaker 0 00:02:58 It doesn't matter how hot they are or how good looking they are or what, how good an actress they are. None of it matters. Apparently not. Well, actually it's interesting. You mentioned that because I do remember that there was this piece that had come out. This was a few years ago where this actress actually hadn't put her birth date in like IMDV. So like nowhere, like nowhere on the internet, could you figure out exactly how old she was? And so I think this like worked to her benefit because nobody knew, and they just like judged her based on couldn't move her off the list. I'm pretty sure there must be some lists. And so, yeah, but then somehow somebody found her actual birth date and posted it and she was, I raped. So, um, and I think she tried to, I think she tried to Sue them or something.
Speaker 0 00:03:51 Yeah. It's none of their business. Yeah. So basically, so I wonder, I, I would not be surprised if there was like some lists that went around that like, just like Mo like every day they just go through all the things bothers me about it. The most kind of like, um, the double standard around it, because you know, this is not happening to the guys. Like nobody is suddenly getting Rampart roles of the age of 14. Oh, God mission, impossible things. And he's in his fifties, like he's in his fifties. Wow. Mind you, he looks ridiculous. Does he? No, he doesn't. He looks, he looks like he's his fifties.
Speaker 0 00:04:42 Oh my God. Have I given to those stereotypical things? Like where I just can't see. I don't know. I don't think he looks, I mean, it's not like he hasn't done anything recently. I feel like so out of pop culture these days, it was like ever since the pandemic. And I feel like my sense of time and keeping up with pop culture. Everything. Yeah. No, it's true. That there's no, there aren't any, I dunno, there aren't any timelines. I know. It just feels like one long day. Yeah. So, so yeah, Tom cruise does look older now.
Speaker 0 00:05:30 No, I will say he looks as good as Carrie and Moss and they're around the same age. So why is he getting leading roles like that? And carry on loss is just like rubbing it to be grandma. That is very true. I have no answer to that. And that actually makes me irate because it's just, I think it's confusing me also because, you know, on one hand we're always being fed the stereotype of, you know, good looks, um, mattering a lot, but it turns out that the number matters even more than good looks. I think that the number matters if you're in the mail purse, if you not of the male persuasion, the number only matters if you are not a male. Right. So yeah. You had another example of, you know yeah. Sexism at its finest. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. The other thing that bothers me a lot about, about her not being able to get these like leading lady parts or whatever, um, you know, just because she turned 40 and because as all of us do, um, is that she's actually a really good actress.
Speaker 0 00:06:41 Like she doesn't just play like, so any, obviously I, as I'm sure many of our listeners, um, we're introduced to carry on loss through the matrix, but like I recently saw her in Jessica Jones and she is excellent, you know, in that kind of in the two thousands, there was this whole like male antihero kind of thing, like in breaking bad and mad men was like the leading man play this like antihero that you're supposed to love to hate type thing. And, um, so she plays a bat, but like in Jessica Jones is like this really bad-ass lawyer. And she, I just have, well, I mean, okay, spoiler alert, like she gets sick in like the third episode in the third season and like that entire character arc that she has, like while she used, you know, dealing with this, like neurological disease is like, excellent. So this is what bothers me.
Speaker 0 00:07:37 I'm like, you're basically taking this really talented actress and you're not giving her meaty roles just on the basis of her age. Like, it's just, I don't know. It's just upsetting things are changing though these days, like the fact that we're actually talking about it, the fact that, you know, um, people are speaking up these things maybe, um, do you notice any change or shift in, in how, yeah, I wonder about starts to portray these issues. Yeah. I wonder if it's just because, you know, like, yeah, the baby boomers being like such a large cohort, like now moving into, um, you know, like their, their seventies, like I think it's kind of bringing more light to issues around, you know, getting older. And I think it's actually starting to trickle down into the, um, into pop culture. Cause like, I think we've talked about it before, like, you know, the Kominsky method, grace and Frankie, like even the movies, like, um, read or, um, you know, like bucket list and things like that. Like, you know, you are seeing more stories about people who are getting older. So, uh, I think maybe the, maybe the tides are turning, it's also shifting in the sense that I feel like the way quote, unquote, grandmas are being portrayed now, or grandparents are being portrayed. They're just not as relegated to the background.
Speaker 0 00:09:22 There's an element of, you know, they're kind of cool independent characters with their own ideas and opinions. Right. So, yeah. So like, I think, I think that they're just being treated like people rather than like some stereotypical grandfather grandmother role. Right. Like I was, um, I was watching dairy girls. Oh, I love dairy girls is hilarious. So like, if, for people who don't know, it's basically set in the nineties, it's about, um, a group of teenagers who go to this girl's school in Ireland, in Northern Ireland, Northern Ireland. I'm like, Oh no, do I remember my Irish history at all? So, but like it's during the time of the troubles, which is, you know, obviously when there was troubling.
Speaker 0 00:10:22 And so, you know, there were issues with the, you know, like the British army, et cetera, et cetera. Anyway, I won't go into all of that, but it's set during that time. And, uh, it's hilarious. And, um, but I was sorry I was rewatching it. I had, you know, I watched it once, loved it. And then I was like, rewatching it. And then, um, the grandfather, they, they all live together. So it's like the teenager, I think her cousin lives with her, um, her aunt, her aunt and her, and then the grandfather of the maternal grandfather. And like, I was just watching it and it was just when he comes on, like, you just don't like, I don't know, he's just not a typical grandfather. He's just rewatch rewatch. It. It's like, it's just as funny the second time the soundtrack, I think they had me like, like when I heard cranberries. Yeah, exactly. So I think things are coming around that that's the other thing is that I wonder if that's also a cultural thing though. Do you know what I mean? Because I feel that in North America we have a certain idea of what the older person should be. And I don't think that that translates it to other cultures say more. Well, I mean, I think that other cultures just have a different idea of what it means to be an older person in society.
Speaker 0 00:12:07 I think, you know, what it might be, because I feel like in Europe it's a little bit more, I don't know, realistic in a way. Right. Like it's very much like, you know, yeah. He's old what you're going to do, so let's just carry on character matters. Yeah. Yeah. The thing is, is that like, um, you can have movies starring older women. Like it's just part like they have, you know, like I've watched multiple movies where like the main characters, an older woman, and it's not just about her being old. It's a big it's about her life. Like it's about, you know, her relationships. Like it's not, it does have a very unrealistic, um, expectation or depiction. Yeah, exactly. Or like attitude towards aging. Right. Like I think that, like, I almost feel like at least in the past, like now I think we're coming into more, um, like more of an understanding about what it means to be getting older and like the same, like, you know, um, issues that come up and, um, you know, just what life might be like as an older person.
Speaker 0 00:13:13 But I think that, um, like I, I feel that in the past, basically you're almost completely invisible after like after a certain age, it's like, you know, you're relegated to the background. Exactly. Yeah. And usually it's like, either like it's a funny prop or it's, you know, it's just all just based on stereotypes. Right? Like, like they never, they never used to give people any stories in their own right. Past a certain age. Yeah. That's true. Actually. Yeah. We should look into this now that I'm thinking about it, I'm like back in the day, like what movies might have start, like, you know, older leading ladies, like the story be about them, not just ladies, but like even men, but just be about an older. Yeah. Yeah. Without like, don't like without being relegated to stereotypes. I wonder actually. Okay. Now I'm thinking now I'm thinking, thinking with my like nerd cap, if we were going to do this psych pseudo study, not real study, obviously like, would we, would we include stories about uniformities of aging as a stereotype?
Speaker 0 00:14:29 Do you know what I mean? Because sometimes the leading person it's it's to depict how bad things get or how they're impacted because they're getting older. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. So like, I mean, does that count as it shouldn't? I think, I feel like it shouldn't because then it kind of defeats the purpose where we were saying that. No. Or maybe, I don't know. That's a good question. Some categorize in a movie about getting older and it's talking about, I don't know, like dementia or, you know, losing someone's like, or just being informed in general then, like that just goes into a separate category. And we just say like, this is the gray area. This is the gray area because yeah, you're right. Because it would be the gray area, because the thing is that is only way you could have a, have a meeting. It's kind of like the trope of like, when you have a, when you have like a quote black story, but it's always about slavery. Like it always like revolves around like, you know, like a slave, as opposed to just like, just being a story about a black family or a black person.
Speaker 0 00:15:38 Sorry. I think I'm just going into like, trying to think of a movie. And I can't think of any examples. Oh, older people or the things that I'm thinking of sadly about infirmities. That's what I mean, like where it's not about the fact that they're getting each like that they're aging. Like it's not something about just life as an older it's about, it's just about their life, that's it? Right. That's the kind of thing I'm thinking of. Oh yeah. I can't think of anything where it's just about their life. The things I'm thinking about are like still Alice or like the father where it's all about like that stage in life. But it's usually informed that he's at that stage of planning for like how you deal with them rather than like just living life. So speaking of being in a stage and, and, um, having made meet, sorry, it just triggered a thought. Um, so the other day we were on a chat with our friends on WhatsApp. Yeah.
Speaker 0 00:16:38 One of our friends mentioned that she's been getting targeted ads. And what was the wording that was like, so tailored for mature women? What does that mean? Don't even know we're trying to decide for this. And we're like, what does tailored for mature women mean in terms of an outfit is tailored for mature women. It was a clothing line. It was a clothing line. Was that it seemed to be like all of this like spitting clothing. And I was like, why does that have to be tailored toward mature, mature woman? The only outfit you would ever want to wear is a big shapeless bag because now you're old and no one should look at you because you're not a grandmother. I think it's to allow room for your saggy boots.
Speaker 0 00:17:35 Yeah. Yeah. It was really interesting what she was getting these ads marketing, I don't know. Is that supposed to make you feel heard or seen where it's like, Oh my God, look, the stealer like mature in terms of, I didn't understand. I was like, you can't tailor it to a mature woman because women come in all shapes and sizes and that doesn't change when you get older. So unless they're taking my actual body measurements, like you, can't hilarious. If someone saw the ad and goes like, well, I'm a mature person and you know, she's like 17, it's the word? Right? Like, it's kind of like, what are you, what are you like, we know it's meant to imply a woman of certain age, but it's just so misleading. Yeah. And like you said, not withstanding the fact that they'll come in different shapes and sizes. So how are you really tailoring? But also like you're making an assumption that, you know, there is a certain level of maturity that needs, that will have been reached or should be reached by that said eight, you know? And it's like insulting everybody. Yeah. It's funny that you said it would be really funny if a 17 year old clicked on it because why couldn't a 17 year old click on it. Hey,
Speaker 1 00:19:08 It was very mature.
Speaker 0 00:19:13 I don't remember very much of it. Well, I know that's the thing is that it didn't like some of the pictures that she showed were just like, yeah, they were kind of be shapeless blocks. Yeah. I was like, Oh my God. And especially, it's funny because she dresses well, but it just triggered that memory of like, you know, when you were talking about yeah. Goes back to that topic. Like it goes back to our previous topic about language of ages, because it doesn't even give you an age range just says, mature woman can be anything. And then there's kind of this like strange or of judgment around it too. It's so odd. Yeah. I dunno. It's just, it's strange language. It's a very, very strange marketing actually what I want to know. And if any of our, like guys who are listeners out there, are you getting targeted ads for the mature male? I'm really curious, actually. So my, now that we should call them up because I find that interesting because as I have mentioned before, like the types of things that are marketed to men and women are told me friends, like, no, but based off of that travel, travel blog that I have, like based on men and women, like the articles that I see on like the male side.
Speaker 0 00:20:51 So yeah. I'd be curious. I'd be curious to see what kind of targeted Facebook ads the guys are coming up with. Like, if I'm going to stereotype, it would probably be like some kind of video.
Speaker 1 00:21:05 Maybe they get to be
Speaker 0 00:21:06 Quote unquote younger or less mature for a longer period of time. You know, maybe they're getting advice.
Speaker 1 00:21:14 No,
Speaker 0 00:21:22 Essentially. So let us know. Yeah. Like men and women, what kind of targeted ads are you getting? And also if you've come across names of movies, and if you're thinking of some kind of specific movie or a character where they're, it's a older leading person, actor or actress, or just, let's just call them actors. Cause that's what it is. Um, you know, a leading actor, but it's about a generic life slice of life story. And not related to the fact that they're older, like the bucket list would still be about older getting older because that's the whole premise of it. Right. Is there like approaching death, same thing with Frankie and grace. And I love that show, but it is about like, Oh look, you know, they're older, but like I want to show where they're just, they just happen to be older people, but they're just living irrelevant, irrelevant, except that like their informatives are part of it.
Speaker 0 00:22:27 But it's like a very small part of the entire story, right. Each character I do. I am thinking of though, although the story wasn't centered on her, Emily Gilmore ever, I love her. And that shows so much Emily Bishop, the Bishop and the other one that makes that a I'm thinking of is Jessica, is it just a Walters? Is that arrested development? That is actually very true. She is amazing. And she plays an older person, but yeah, you're right. Actually. Yeah, she was, I feel so bad. Lost, like we lost. Yeah. I just feel bad that they're gone. And Emily Bishop is still around. It's just Jessica Walters just recently passed away. It was um, Oh my God, the grandfather, what was his name? He passed away. Yeah. Emily Bishop was super awesome. She's amazing. She's such a blessed, but like the character, it's just amazing. It's still love it. Might've been,
Speaker 0 00:23:46 I know those are like that type of attitude or character or like, you know, where it's just, it's more about her as a person personality and that was the important piece, you know, it's really fun, but yeah. So the point is getting distracted. The one thing I do want to mention is the thing that I do like about grace and Frankie is that they do talk openly about things that happened while you were definitely one of them. I didn't actually start watching it until its third season. So I got a chance to binge watch the first three and it was like just so much fun. And then you're like, Oh no, I need the next season. Now I need my fix. It's just such a good show. Um, but yeah, no. So definitely let us know, give us ideas so that we can get a list of summer watching. Ready. I feel like I've reached the end of Netflix. Oh, you feel like that?
Speaker 0 00:24:51 I feel like I'm rewatching old shows. Like I feel like it takes a lot for me to sort of want to just start something new, start something new. I'm like, I'm like, no, like, you know, I just want to watch you. And then she, Brooklyn nine, nine, I think I've watched more than half a dozen times. Awesome. And I feel like every time I restart when I'm watching, I'm like, Oh, did I miss this the first time around? And I know I didn't, it's just so good that, you know, you've discovered a new joke or a new something every single time with parks and rec actually. Yeah. Actually I haven't, I haven't really watched parks and rec recently. Have you seen, have you seen Andy Samberg Groundhog day movie? I forgot what it's called. Prom Palm Springs. If you see that, is that a movie TV show movie with Christian? Oh yeah.
Speaker 0 00:26:02 I just thought of how I met your mother. And I just remember how much I hated the last episode. I still can't forgive this and I loved her, but I was just devastated with the last episode. This might end up having to be another podcast, but yeah, appointed us, even though we should know better as 40 something year olds, we don't have to get emotionally invested in digression. Um, hit us up on social. So, um, we're email.com or DT, mml.com. And we're also, um, Facebook and Twitter. So, um, look us up and until then we'll we shall see you next week. Sounds good. Bye.
