Episode Transcript
Speaker 0 00:00:03 Hi, and welcome to does this make me local, a podcast about aging as gracefully as possible when you're just not ready for two 40 something year old friends will find themselves kind of straddling that really odd period of time when aging and everything that is associated with is starting to become a much bigger part of our lives. We're definitely curious, but at the same time, rather terrified about aging. I'm Schiff. I'm a health science nerd and pop culture themes, and I'm SIM and adult and weighting obsessed with finance and self-help books. We're going to be talking about the stereotypes of aging and how they affect us. And we'll also be doing some deeper dives into some interesting topics, such as what it's like to get old in the society dating when you're older and scientific advancements in anti-aging products and even evolution in scientific thinking around aging and throughout it all we chat rant, laugh about or adulting mishaps of which there are so, so, so many. So join us as we navigate our second quarter-life crisis.
Speaker 0 00:01:08 All right. Hi, welcome back to, does this make me the gold we're going to be talking about, so what are we going to talk about? Oh, you know what I was actually thinking. Yeah. That we should probably talk about how old do we feel? Like, do you think, how old do you think you are today or just in general? How old do you feel? I always turn since I like have turned or become a 40 year old. I like, I'm always thinking that I'm just 40. Like I just turned 40, well past 40. I think my forties, I am 40. And I think that's what that, so today I thought we would actually talk about a couple of things around this because you can get away with this. Don't get away with the shit.
Speaker 0 00:02:01 So I can talk about how old I feel, but you can't tell me how old you feel. Okay. How old do you feel? How old are you trying to get away with not actually answering how old she feels? That's because it oscillates. So usually I actually kind of feel like I'm in my early thirties and I feel like I'm stuck there somehow. Like, as in, you know, I'll talk to 40 year olds and I'll think, Oh, like you're so old. Okay. No. Oh, that's interesting. You say that because when I talk to a certain group of 40 year old and I feel super young, but right. But if anyone just asks me how old I feel like today, I don't think I would lump myself into early thirties. People it's only in comparison to other people. That's what it is. Oh. So for me, I think that in general, I feel I'm still in my early thirties, maybe, maybe mid thirties, like if I'm feeling particularly tired, but, and definitely when I'm with a certain group of people, I do feel younger and I don't, I don't know what it is.
Speaker 0 00:03:06 Like, I don't know. Um, you know, and maybe it's the way they talk about certain things or, um, you know, maybe think a certain way. And so I always end up feeling a lot younger than I am, but having said that there have been times more recently. Um, and I don't know if it's because of the COVID stuff that's been happening around us, but I've been feeling a little bit more, um, closer to my age, you know, I'm I'm so maybe like you I'm stuck at like maybe close to 40. I don't think I've managed to go over 40. No, no, I know. Cause I birthday's coming up and I'm like, yeah, I forget how old I'm turning because I'm still convinced I'm like 40 <inaudible>.
Speaker 0 00:03:52 Yeah. So I think this is the thing, this is the reason I wanted to talk about it is because I feel like in some ways there was a, it was kind of like a little climbing Hill that where you sort of, you know, cause you and I we've been known, we've known each other for like for 10 years, 12 years. Can't remember. But I feel like even as recently, as last year we were still feeling young. I don't know for sure. I totally. Yep. And then, and then all of a sudden there was like a switch that just happened when you and I both started saying, Oh, but dammit like those youngsters or along those lines, maybe not those words particularly, but the sentiment. And, and I think that's the reason I kind of wanted to understand like a, I know people age out of, of, I guess, whatever age they're in sort of, but when did it happen for you?
Speaker 0 00:04:48 Like and felt older or yeah. Like what triggered it? When did you start realizing that you are not as young as you were feeling? Or, you know, like when you stopped feeling that young, maybe that's the right word. Yeah. I think, yeah. Let me think. Well, having is it's like I was in training for like a long period of time and only came out of training like fairly recently. But I think it was just when I got like that first, I guess, position that like, like as part of my career, like where everything you were training towards kind of led to like increased responsibility. And then that's when I felt like, Oh, you're now old. You can't call yourself a student anymore. You can't, you know, you can't say that you're in training anymore. Like you're now like quote an adult, but it's really strange because you know, the other day I was treated, I was, um, I was actually teaching some students and, um, we were taught.
Speaker 0 00:05:51 Yeah. It's so funny. Like, so, you know, it was kind of like an icebreaker. I was talking about like shows that we watch. Cause I was just like, you know, what can I relate to like, like how can I get them to chat about themselves? And that's funny cause we're given all these other icebreakers and I'm like, none of these really like apply to me or I care about, but I was like TV, TV I care about. So then like, you know, I was asking these kids basically, cause like they're all in their early twenties, like they're all in their early twenties, like what they were watching. And the funny thing is, is that like they were watching like friends and you know, like shows from my youth. And like on some level I kind of felt like them. And I was just like, I know I'm like at least two decades older than you, but like I kind of feel at one with you right now.
Speaker 0 00:06:37 It was really strange. Whereas like, I don't know, um, maybe I'm just being like super narcissistic, but like I don't know that other people in our age bracket could relate to them. And the weird thing was, was that they were like talking about all of these shows and I've watched them all. And I was like, yeah, I love that show. That's a great one. Oh yeah. You get to X, you know, get to X scene and you'll love this. And I was just like, yeah, this is really strange. It wasn't me. It was a really surreal experience. So I think it fluctuates like sometimes I think I am old and then other times I feel super young. So I don't know. I don't know. It's all, it's all kind of relative, I guess. Yeah. How about for you? I mean, I guess if you feel like you're in your early thirties though, like, do you feel old?
Speaker 0 00:07:26 Well, you know, it's funny because like, I think you're right. I think technically it is relative because I think when I'm by myself, I feel like I'm in my early thirties, but then when I'm with someone who is in their early thirties, I E my sister, I realized quickly I'm not. Um, and I feel older. So, so maybe it's it's, it is relative, like you said, um, for me, I think one of my turning points and, and you, and I've talked about this before was when I couldn't be bothered to learn Snapchat. Um, yeah. I was like, why what's the purpose? Yeah. And I just didn't see the value in it. Yeah. Other than the Dick pics, other than the dictates, you're giving others Dick pics, but I know, I know what y'all know.
Speaker 0 00:08:16 Yeah. That does not hold any interest for me. So, uh, you know, uh, like, you know, receiving or sending them. Um, and I feel like guys find other avenues anyway, <inaudible> to be shared, they will find a platform to share it on. Um, so, so yeah, so I feel like maybe it is relative, but I think similar to you, like, you know, in business school, I was probably slightly in the, on the older spectrum because I think I worked for six years before I actually decided to go back to business school. And my class had quite a few people who are like, you know, who worked only two years or, you know, something like that. And, um, so part of that really sometimes I think I would feel that I was younger just because, you know, surrounded by all these people who are like three, four years younger than me.
Speaker 0 00:09:07 Um, and over time though, like, I feel like nowadays I'm a little bit more at work. Like I find myself saying things like you're really young and it's because they are like, when I'm talking to like these people that I'm I'll mentor or like in some kind of career group chat, and I'll be like, well, you know, you're still young in your career and you know, you should be doing this. And it's because when I think back, I realized that, you know, the time I'm referring to my experiences of what they're going through now was like 15 years ago. And it's a little bit shocking, but at the same time, it's, I don't know. It's just one of those things where I'm kind of like oscillating between feeling in my early thirties and then feeling oldest. Yeah. It's in like 20 minutes later for sure. No, I know. Well, like I feel that I'm, I'm always kind of put squirrely in my forties, mainly because like, I'm dating somebody who's five years younger and like, they haven't turned 40 yet. So I'm always reminded that I'm in my forties. I think that's the other thing. So then like you think you could just can't help, but like, think that you're in your forties, right? Like, because you get the difference though, you know, and the thing is, is the key.
Speaker 0 00:10:27 If I had to pick like, you know, like the younger, who's the younger person, I'd probably say your word, tell him that I always get flat. And I'm like, yeah, but you listen to like old people use it. No, it's, it's, it's really good. True. Um, I also feel, um, I think like, even in our friends group, like sometimes, um, I'll feel younger than some of our friends. I, I always feel younger. I feel younger than a lot of <inaudible>. Oh my God. They're so mature. And so put together it's true. And, and you know, they, they have their, you know, they have a set few point, whereas as you can tell, like, yeah, but this topic I'm like, Oh, I don't know today. I feel young, but I also feel old. So that's partly the problem. I don't know. You have a malleable mind. It's it's, it's a, it's a plus don't, don't, don't, don't be letting yourself <inaudible>, but, but it's true.
Speaker 0 00:11:35 Like I'm always in awe like all these people who are so put together and that's like, and I'm like, I'm definitely not alone. It's funny. Right. Cause like, I still feel like I'm not, like, I always feel that there's some improvement that I could make on myself. And I don't know, like, does that ever go away? Actually, that brings me to an interesting point because I was having dinner with a friend and she was talking about how she feels that when, at least for herself, she feels that now that she's older, she feels more content and more confident with who she is and that she would never, like, there are things that like she would say now, or she would be comfortable to actually bring up or speak up about that. She never would've had the courage to do in her, in her twenties. And on some level, I understand that.
Speaker 0 00:12:22 Like, I feel like I am able to speak up more than I did when I was younger. But in other senses, I still feel that I, I don't know, I still feel uncomfortable in some ways. Or like, I just feel like, I don't know that there is like, yeah, like there's like a cohort of people who, you know, they say that as they get older and actually she brought this up too. Like, as people get older, they like have this. Like they don't give a fuck attitude and I'm don't know that I will ever really, sometimes I feel like that, but most of the times I don't really ever get there. You know, like in certain situations I have a, don't give a fuck attitude, but in other situations, like, I don't know if I'm comfortable enough to give a fuck here. It's actually interesting.
Speaker 0 00:13:11 You bring that up because I feel like I've been reading all these articles or, you know, and that's the stereotype, right? Like a lot of the time you'll hear people say, Oh, you know, I'm 60, I'm 50 I'm whatever. Right. Whatever age they are. And, and I don't give a fuck. And, but like, I, I still am waiting for that shoe to drop, like where I actively don't. But, but that's, that's one of the things where I'm wondering if, if it has something to do with hitting certain milestones, like, you know, like as in, you know how, uh, we have all these societal expectations, right? Like you hit a career point and you hit, or, you know, family point or like whatever the case may be. And, um, if you hit those markers, then you're sort of more comfortable saying, yeah, fuck it. Yeah. Because, because I've already attained this level, like there's nothing you can take away from me. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. So I don't know. Yeah, no, actually, yeah. That's a good point. I mean like, like really my only don't give a fuck attitudes come out at work and like, you really have to judge when you don't give a fuck. Right. Because like, I be allowed to say fucking the podcast, by the way. Yeah. I think so. I think it's, it's fair game. <inaudible>
Speaker 0 00:14:29 just got distracted because I'm like, wow, we're not swearing a lot today. I swear all the time. I'm trying to learn how to clean up my act. But I think you do a better job than I do. Yeah. Well, I see there's mine not, don't give a fuck attitude. I'll take it because I'm like four years older than, um, yeah. So, uh, yeah, but I think it's really, because, you know, you kind of have to judge where you can and can't
Speaker 1 00:15:02 Like
Speaker 0 00:15:03 Overstep your boundaries. And I think that like, until you, at least it leaves at least in your career, like until you hit a certain point where you have a certain amount of power to leverage, you really can't do too much. Maybe that's why I'm more, don't give a fucking work kind of a person. Okay. Cause I think I feel a lot more in control. Yeah. And so I'm, it's easier for me to tell a young intern, I go, don't worry about it. It gets better, you know, or you should do this or you should, you know, um, apply for this job or whatever. Like, you know, you need to develop here. And I think that that's partly because I feel confident where I am. Yeah. And, uh, you know, I feel less weird about being bossy, I guess. Yeah. Yeah. Well, no, I mean, but the thing is, is that like, if you were talking to like a goofy PS Oh no, I still feel right.
Speaker 0 00:15:54 Like, Oh then all of a sudden I'm 25 again. Yeah. But that's what I'm saying, because like it's easy to kind of act like you are very like freewheeling and, um, you know, like have this less, a fair attitude to life, to somebody who works under you. But it's just like, when you're actually speaking to people who are above you, like that's when you have to really judge whether or not you can actually speak your mind or not. Right. That's true. Which is, yeah. Which is what I'm saying. Is that like, yeah. Like talking to students, talking to people that like you actually work with that don't really have that much leverage on you. Like it's easy to act like, act like yourself basically. Right. But like the minute that you actually talked to someone who has power leverage over you, like that's where you can't like, you really have to judge whether or not you can be yourself, you know?
Speaker 0 00:16:42 Yeah. That's true actually. Yeah. That's why you find these articles about like women's empowerment when they get older to be kind of odd because usually they're talking to people who are running their own companies or like, you know, you know what I mean? Like they have a certain amount of like social and political power. Yeah. And so, so it's easy for them to say like, Oh, you know, when I hit my sixties, it's no big deal. And I really don't care. Like what, like I speak my mind. It's like, well, if you haven't really reached that milestone, like don't make me feel bad because I'm, you know, not at that situation and I'm understanding age. Right. Like I think that it really depends on where you are in life. Right.
Speaker 1 00:17:24 Yeah.
Speaker 0 00:17:26 That would actually be a fascinating thing to actually go out and interview these people. Right. Like, it's kind of like a, how old do you feel inside? And at what point did you start feeling your age? Because the reverse is also true. Right? Like I have this friend
Speaker 1 00:17:41 Who always felt
Speaker 0 00:17:43 Older. I remember we were in our twenties and she'd be like, Oh, I feel like I'm 35. And she's like, I can't wait, be 35, you know? And I'm like, and I remember we'd all be like, what? And she always liked older men. Yeah. She, she, she, she, she is a very mature personality and, and it was just really funny because she would always just, you know, project this aura of someone who just maturity, maturity, which is actually kind of funny because now that she is four, she, she, she's probably a lot more childlike actually in some ways fully, but, but she's more playful. Yeah. Yeah. Whereas when we were younger, I think she was just so added member of getting older, you know, and then wanting to be, yeah. You know, when you're a kid and you're like, I can't wait till I'm an adult and I can like, you know, break the shackles of parental, like cool. You know, and then, and then you get there and you're like, Oh, what did I ask for actually funny? You should say this because I remember when I was a kid, I could not think past the age of 30. Like, I feel like I remember thinking 30 was so old for me, it was 40. I was just like 40 is booking ancient and now I'm here. And I'm like, it's not that wall. <inaudible>.
Speaker 0 00:18:58 Yeah. The other thing that it would be interesting to ask these women where like CEOs and whatnot is, do they feel curious? Do they feel young despite the fact that they're in their sixties and running a company and whatnot. Right. Both of them probably feel and look young because they are probably more active than I've ever been in my entire life. I think what surprises me is that I'm constantly shying away from diet and exercise. Right. Like we know this, like, I, it takes a lot of work to convince me that I should work out and I somehow trick myself into thinking that it doesn't matter, you know? And, but it does because you see these, uh, like, you know, like the, all these doctors and business women and, and news reporters on TV and, you know, like the politicians, like, and anybody who's like made it, made it like put unquote per society's definition.
Speaker 0 00:20:00 Yeah. Are like, even when they have like 18 hour days, they find the time to go for a quick, Oh, I know. I don't know how that happens. I don't know. I think so. I don't know. I'm just, I'm just me. I'm just being, uh, I'm just being a bitch, but like the muscle definition, I mean, you can tell them older because they have the muscle definition, right. Like the Jennifer Aniston's of the world and stuff like that. I mean, but I'm like, where do they find all this stuff? No, I know. I don't know. I, I don't know I was joking, but part of me is suspicious cocaine. Like what are you doing? Like this magic drugs. Exactly. Anyway. Yeah. No, it is curious. It's uh, yeah. Aging, aging is a fascinating topic. Hence this podcast. No, that's true actually. And that's actually probably one of the reasons why I wanted to start off with this topic.
Speaker 0 00:20:58 Um, as one of our first ones is because I feel like, um, I kind of wanted our, you know, our listeners, um, to sort of get a sense of, you know, what, um, kind of we're thoughts go through our heads as we're sort of dealing with this, um, you know, topic of aging, because I know that, um, you know, uh, we're going to be talking in the coming episodes about, you know, different things around the science of aging, um, looking at different procedures and, and, and, and beauty treatments, the treatments and learning about the, you know, the concept of generations and cultural, um, definitions of those. Um, so I thought that there would be a, you know, I thought I should level set that even though we are technically grownups middle-aged women, <inaudible>, like I said, I was 40, but maybe I don't feel <inaudible> you said middle aged. I'm like, that's what I need. I will go so far as to say we don't look, definitely don't act like it, but maybe we do. Um, I know that when it comes to sleep time, I do, but that's a different problem. But, uh, but yeah, so I thought that it would be a good idea to sort of, you know, uh, talk through some of our neurosis and our approach to aging, um, and give people a lens into how we're thinking. Exactly. Yeah. So anyway, stay tuned for upcoming episodes and we'll hope you'll stick around.
