Episode Transcript
Speaker 0 00:00:00 <inaudible> hi and welcome to does this make me look old, a podcast about aging as gracefully as possible when you're just not ready for two 40 something year old friends move find themselves kind of straddling that really odd period of time when aging and everything that is associated with is starting to become a much bigger part of our lives. We're definitely curious, but at the same time, rather terrified about aging. I'm Schiff. I'm a health science nerd and pop culture themes, and I'm sin and adult and waiting obsessed with finance and self-help books. We're going to be talking about the stereotypes of aging and how they affect us. And we'll also be doing some deeper dives into some interesting topics, such as what it's like to get old in the society dating when you're older and scientific advancements in anti-aging products and even evolution and scientific thinking around aging and throughout it all we chat rant laugh about or adulting mishaps of which there are so, so, so many. So join us as we navigate our second quarter life crisis.
Speaker 0 00:01:08 Okay. So the Oscars just recently happened. And so then there was that there was that moment when Diane Keaton came up with a Keanu Reeves. Sorry, I need a moment because it was Kiana. Oh, I know. I know. I am girl. I got you, man. I know. What's that make you want to go see the movie they were talking about? That's exactly it. So because Diane Keaton and Kiana ruse came up on stage, basically like everybody started talking about the last movie they had been in, which was something's got to give and, um, you know, and they had such interesting chemistry on stage still, which I noticed, I thought she was high. Well, like drunk or something in the presence of Keanu Reeves. Wouldn't you feel a little drunk high or drunk high or something just by looking at <inaudible>.
Speaker 0 00:02:07 So anyway, and then, um, even Nancy Myers got into it because she directed the movie and like even she tweeted about whether or not they had potentially gotten together because, so wait, you mean the, there was a rumor that they got together? No, no, no. Okay. So the thing we, okay. Yeah. So I had never watched, something's got to give until recently, which we'll go into right now, but like, so I had never watched the movie and they had been in this movie together. And so basically the gist of the movie is that Diane Keaton is a woman in her fifties, um, recently divorced and, um, or maybe not so recently divorced, but wherever she's a divorce se and she is single, uh, very successful playwright and her daughter is dating Jack Nicholson ends up at her beach house. Um, you do, or you don't. I think I do. Okay. Sorry. It's coming back to me. Yeah. Yeah. Oh yeah. Cause it was quite, it was quite a while ago and I'm sure that at the time I was just like, Oh Jesus, another movie where like the old woman gets together with the old man, because this is all old people are going for which annoyed me to no end either that or Jack Nicholson does end up with a young woman. You know how all of these things go, they're all setting. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 0 00:03:24 Before. Well, Leo DiCaprio only wishes. He could be Jack Nicholson. Oh wait. No, no, no, no, no. You know, that's who he's channeling. This is what's happening. I know you love him. Oh, this is what it is. No, no, no. Okay. Okay. Agree to disagree. All right. We all know I'm right. Anyways. So I can't, I can't even, so anyway, so he's in his beach, he's at the beach house. He tries to like consummate his relationship with like Diane Keaton's daughter, Jack Nicholson. Does Jack Nicholson. Yes. And then like, um, well, anyway, so basically like at the end though, he hasn't slept with her yet. He hasn't slept with her yet. No. Okay. So, okay. I'll go into the part of the movie in more detail, but like basically at the end of it dying, like at the end of the movie, Diane Keaton ends up with Jack Nicholson. And so like Nancy Myers is the director of this movie. So after seeing like this chemistry that like they had on stage Nancy Meyers tweets out, Oh, maybe they got together. And the thing is, is that at some point in the movie? Yes. Diane Keaton dates, fricking Keanu Reeves and leaves him for Jack fucking Nicholson. First of all, that's never going to happen. Second, this delusional world of this movie that happens. No, no, wait, wait, can we back up for a minute? <inaudible>
Speaker 0 00:04:56 this at the Oscars based on their presence at the Oscars. Yes. Yeah. Oh, because of the chemistry on onstage. Oh, they were kind of being like flirty and giddy and happy on the Oscar stage. First of all, anyone talking to Kiana Reeves, what sound kidding or happy or whatever on stage or anywhere else we're preaching to the choir. This is John fucking wick. I can totally like, I totally totally get it. Cause yeah. Cause he can get it. So yeah, he can. Um, okay. So then, okay, so let's talk, let's let's talk around this movie because the, so I, so this was the reason I watched the movie. It was because I was like, Oh, so this is an interesting premise that like Diane Keaton has this sort of like love triangle between Keanu Reeves and Jack Nicholson and somehow ends up dumping Keanu for never going to happen in real life. So. Okay. All right. So I was like, okay. So I, so I told this to my boyfriend, I'm like, let's watch, something's got to give, because this is the premise of the movie. And I don't understand. So boyfriend being who he is, he was really good about it. He was like, okay, let's watch this.
Speaker 0 00:06:06 He just goes, he's so easy going. He just goes along with like, yeah, sure. Well, and there's a whole other layer to it, obviously because like that. So they, so my boyfriend and I are like five years apart and like he's constantly bringing up, bringing up our age difference, switch. I don't understand because I don't understand why, why five years is such a big deal, but whatever. So my boyfriend is like super into the fat, well, not super into the pack, but like he you're talking about your boyfriend now or the movie. Nope. I'm talking about my boyfriend watching the movie because like we were watching it and I was irate about this whole like Diane Keaton, Jack Nicholson situation, you know, they're like close in age and everything. I'm like 10 freaking years apart. I mean, find they're closer in age than Mike, Diane and Keanu. But in this movie he must be in his, like he must be in his twenties or early thirties. Reeves is like 60, right. Late fifties. I think that, let me do a quick lookup because I'm pretty sure that he was, he must've been in his thirties in this movie. Oh, actually I think they did make a reference to them. Well, I think sh I think Diane Keaton was in her mid fifties and she was 20 years older than Kiana, which would have put him in his mid thirties. So let's assume that the ages that,
Speaker 1 00:07:35 But then Jack Nicholson was in his mid sixties. Yes. So he's 10 years older. Yes. So why is that more exciting?
Speaker 0 00:07:42 I don't know. Yeah. Okay. So there was so much, there were so many things I had issues with in this movie, the minute that the movie opens, they're playing that weird butterfly song that they did in the like early two thousands. Oh. So they must've been in the two thousands at this movie started, you know, that like, come my lady song. I don't even remember who sings it anymore, but like, but I know which one you're talking about. So it starts off very badly. And then, you know, wait
Speaker 1 00:08:18 As bad as rumor has it, the movie with Kevin Costner
Speaker 0 00:08:22 Never watched rumor had it, has it. So I don't
Speaker 1 00:08:24 Know. So I think again, we know that I don't ever remember movies and details, but what I do remember was being horrified at the fact that I think he was, I can't remember how old he was supposed to be in the movie, but I think he slept with the grandmother, the mother and the daughter, like as in three generations dating incest, something like that. It's gross. It is gross.
Speaker 0 00:08:50 Sorry. So when it comes to like age differences, this is like the most grossest. Oh my God. It's so nasty. I can't even, that was like, just awful. That takes the cake. This one isn't as bad as that one. It's sort of like be okay with it. <inaudible> yeah. See, the thing is it's like, I don't think I would even have a problem with this movie, except for the fact that she dumps fucking Keanu Reeves. Like, are you blind? Does he okay. Will be even weirder. Yeah. He ends up with the daughter. No, no, he didn't. Thankfully, thankfully he does not end up with a daughter because I thought that was going to be some sort of weird twist, but that does not happen. Thank God for Nancy Myers, because she did not let that happen. But like, yeah. So, okay. So it starts out and like Jack.
Speaker 0 00:09:41 So I told you that the beginning of the movie, like Jack Nicholson tries to like get it on with the daughter has a heart attack. So they have to take him to the hospital. And Keanu is the doctor. Yeah. Doctor who, who helps out the family. And the thing is, is he is infatuated with Diane Keaton from the get-go. Wow. From the get-go I am telling you, sorry. My heart's a little Peter pattern. He looks at Diane Keaton. If any man looked at any woman, the way the Keanu looks at Diane and I do not understand how she did not fall in love with him instantaneously. And part of me thinks that it wasn't shaman flatter, like did, she was a weird, it's almost like she didn't notice. And like there's a scene like later on in the movie where she gets together with him and she's like weirded out by kissing him.
Speaker 0 00:10:37 She was weirded out by kissing him clearly because of the age gap. And I'm like, dude, if I was 15 dating canneries, I would not give a fuck. She's fucking crazy. Oh God. Okay. There's so many problems because this is interesting. So how young would be too young for you? Okay. Okay. So I'm okay. We need to back up. Cause I have dated very young. It's true. I have dated very young in the past. Um, but now I'm getting older. I, and because I'm in a relationship, obviously right now, obviously like, yeah, point does move. But like if we were doing like some sort of like thought exercise right now, right? Like it's interesting because even 10, no, not 10 years ago, even, even five years ago, pre boyfriend, I probably would have been okay. Dating 10 years younger, but now I wouldn't be really. Yeah. I don't know why. I obviously I would go five years younger because I am so, you know, but like five years is like, nothing is nothing that's me either way, either direction. No, I don't even consider that an age gap. I don't consider five years an age gap at all. No it isn't.
Speaker 1 00:11:54 So
Speaker 0 00:11:56 Yeah. So maybe seven or eight. I would probably go eight years younger. I've seen ten-year differences that have worked. Yeah. Well actually hang on, let me think. So like, well, given my age right now. Yeah, yeah. Actually eight years younger would be okay. But in two years I think I would say 10 years younger would be. Okay.
Speaker 1 00:12:17 Okay. So you're basically saying that as you age, age, the age gap can widen. Yes, huh. Okay. So is that one of the reasons like the Harrison Ford and Calista Flockhart doesn't seem that weird?
Speaker 0 00:12:32 It seemed weird to me because I feel like Calista when she was dating Harrison Ford, she was already in her thirties. And I feel like when you're in your thirties, like, you know, well enough about what, like, you know enough about life, that like that's okay. I dunno. Like, I feel like, although, I mean, people could say this about me when I was dating 20 year olds and I was not 20. Like I think that was the youngest I dated. Yeah. Yeah. Right when he
Speaker 1 00:12:59 20
Speaker 0 00:13:00 He was 21st birthday when I made on me not have been slightly over 30 <inaudible> comes out. Okay. Defense was a water polo player. Oh my God. Anyway. Yeah. Yeah. Like I feel like, I think it just depends how old you are at the time. Cause I think like when I was in my late twenties, I certainly dated men who were like eight years, like nine years younger than me. And like, I think we were all in our twenties. So it kind of like just feels like the same, the same age. Yeah. Okay. So let's go the other direction. How old is too old? Okay. So I, I, I don't feel qualified to answer that question cause I, I think the oldest person I've ever been in a relationship with was like
Speaker 1 00:13:54 Three
Speaker 0 00:13:55 Years older than me. Yeah. So yeah. So I can't, I can't speak to that. I dunno. So. Or how, like, so how old have you dated then?
Speaker 1 00:14:04 No, the only person I was thinking of was that professor guy that I dated and I think my experience there was nice person, lovely. Like obviously I liked him, but I think the part that annoyed me the most was that he was always explaining things to me. You know, it's like before I even asked and you know, I'm the type of person that like, he'll be like, Oh, tell me more. Or I don't know this or explain this to me. So it's not that I'm not open to quote unquote being taught, but I don't necessarily want to be in a classroom every fucking moment, you know? And I don't want to sort of always be told, well, this is why or, uh, do you know what I mean? Like it's like, there's um, I don't know. I don't know what to call it. Yeah.
Speaker 0 00:14:53 Uh, well, so, okay. Huh? I don't know. But then, okay. So, so do you think, but do you think you would be able, so do you find that like when you were dating older men that they would like do this all the time? I haven't dated someone who's that much older. Okay.
Speaker 1 00:15:12 But he was probably the oldest one and he was probably what like five
Speaker 0 00:15:15 65, six years. Okay. Yeah. I guess I could do the thought experiment the other way. I don't know. I just like, okay.
Speaker 1 00:15:24 I mean, as like just this, this element, like if I order something and I think I know what I want and there's an element of, Oh, you don't know it. Like you need to order something different or
Speaker 0 00:15:40 Here a little girl, let me tell you what is best on this menu. Yes. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 1 00:15:45 And it's somehow different than when someone's more, you know, like, Hey, have you tried this versus
Speaker 0 00:15:52 Yeah. Or do you like, blah, this is similar to that. Why don't you try that or something like that? I don't know. Yeah. Yeah. I think it was just a, I know, I feel like that. I think like I do feel older men, older men do do that. I guess. That's just like when you get to a certain point in life, you do kind of want to teach the people younger than you. I mean, could you imagine, like, you know, when you were dating younger guys, did you do that to them? Do you feel like you did that to them? I know. I remember there was one guy that I dated and I did do that to him and I kind of feel bad about it and young, younger. Yeah. Yeah. He was significant like life stage wise, he was definitely a lot like, yeah. I guess
Speaker 1 00:16:34 I see myself doing that with someone significantly younger. So maybe that's one of the reasons why, I don't know, like maybe there is a age limit, you know? Yeah.
Speaker 0 00:16:45 Maybe, or maybe there's kind of like,
Speaker 1 00:16:48 I think it's at the life stage your ad. Yes. Right? Like there's someone I'm thinking of and it was like, he was younger, but
Speaker 0 00:16:58 You guys were at the same level basically. Yeah.
Speaker 1 00:17:00 I mean, you know, some things I was immature about and some things he was immature, but I don't know. It was just not a big deal.
Speaker 0 00:17:09 I think that's what actually going back to, something's got to give about this because I think that's what bothered me about the movie was because it didn't really show that they were at different stages in their life. It was just like, Oh, you're 50. Oh, you're 30. Like, no, we can't go out. And like, I don't really think that that's an issue. It's not the age. That's an issue. It's more like, are you on the same page in life? You know, like maybe, maybe Kiana was totally fine with a 50 year old woman and that he would never have kids with her. You know what I mean? Like, like it could have worked out and yet, like, I feel like in this dismissed, it just because was younger. I feel like she dismissed it just because of societal expectations that a woman in her fifties shouldn't be dating somebody who's like in his thirties. Like it really annoyed me. Yeah. I guess. I mean, I'm trying to think,
Speaker 1 00:17:57 Think of other examples of that. Um, someone like us where it's much older woman, because you usually see it the other way around, right. Or the guy as much.
Speaker 0 00:18:08 Oh, there is a real life example though. So, um, Aaron Taylor Johnson that's right. Yes. I mean like they have like a whole passel of kids together. Like do they really? Oh yeah. Like I think they have like four kids together or something like something like something crazy. They have like this massive family, but like, I don't understand why people aren't like putting those stories forward. You know, it's always like, uh, Oh look, Dennis Quaid is with his like little baby of a girl, you know? Like, I don't understand. I don't understand why people aren't like, Oh, Sam Taylor Johnson look at her with Aaron Taylor Johnson, look at how amazing that is and how well it's working out.
Speaker 1 00:18:43 But are they actually talking very positively about the Dennis Quaid one?
Speaker 0 00:18:48 Well, I guess recently they haven't been, it's more like <inaudible>, I don't know. I just remember. She's really young. That's all I remember. It was quite a few of those. It's been that's what's been fed to us for so long. Don't you find? I can't really like, I mean, come on every movie
Speaker 1 00:19:15 I've been thinking about this lately, because it's funny because sometimes I do have that X factor and it plays, you know, it's really strong. And I have to say that it's usually if the guy is much older than the woman. Yes. And I don't know if that's sexist of me because when the woman is much older than the man, I actually don't think
Speaker 0 00:19:37 It's that bad. But I think don't you think, but I also don't have as many examples of that. Yeah. But like, don't you find that that's like a more gender biased way of thinking about it just because you are a woman. Do you know what I mean? Like, I feel like in society everyone's okay with like a gender gap, like not a gender gap, like, but like an age gap, an age gap between a man and a woman. Like no one would bat an eye if like, like for example, in this like Sully movie, like Jack Nicholson's dating a girl who's like probably 40 years younger than him. And everyone's like, it's fine. You know? Like, I mean, it is not fine, but like, you know, everyone's like, yeah, that's totally cool. Except for obviously Diane Keaton. Cause she doesn't want to be a man, but like, you know, like I just feel like, I just feel like for years we've been sold this bill of goods where like men are it's okay. If men are so much older than the women, but like the other way around, it's not, you know, it's like kind of looked down upon because
Speaker 1 00:20:37 Women don't, they have a longer lifespan.
Speaker 0 00:20:39 That's exactly like anything women should be dating men, like at least five to 10 years younger than you're going to be outliving them. At least this way you'll die at the same time, don't even get me started.
