Episode Transcript
Speaker 0 00:00:03 Hi, and welcome to does this make me look old, a podcast about aging as gracefully as possible when you're just not ready for two 40 something year old friends will find themselves kind of straddling that really odd period of time when aging and everything that is associated with is starting to become a much bigger part of our lives. We're definitely curious, but at the same time, rather terrified about aging. I'm Schiff. I'm a health science nerd and pop culture themes, and I'm SIM and adult and waiting obsessed with finance and self-help books. We're going to be talking about the stereotypes of aging and how they affect us. And we'll also be doing some deeper dives into some interesting topics, such as what it's like to get old in the society dating when you're older and scientific advancements in anti-aging products and even evolution and scientific thinking around aging and throughout it all we chat rant laugh about or adulting mishaps of which there are so, so, so many. So join us as we navigate our second quarter life crisis.
Speaker 1 00:01:10 Hi, and welcome to this week's episode of does this make me look old,
Speaker 2 00:01:14 Haitian? Hey, how's it going? I'm good. How are you?
Speaker 1 00:01:18 You know, not too bad. Yeah. Just getting you ready for the new week.
Speaker 2 00:01:23 Yeah. Yeah. I know we're recording on a Sunday, so I'm sure that, uh, I mean, I always have a Sunday, uh, I always have some weird things in books work in societies. Yeah. What do you call them? Sunday sands or something anyway, it's that
Speaker 1 00:01:38 What it's called? Like, um, I dunno, like I used to feel like when a sunset on a Sunday evening, just the thought that I had school the next day, it would be like so sad. Like there was like a melancholy, you know, um, effect. It's like, you're like, oh no, I don't want to go to school tomorrow, even though I loved school. So I don't know what my problem is, but I think everyone
Speaker 2 00:02:01 Has them. I feel like everyone is, am I feeling I've been reading a lot of articles or not reading a lot of articles, but like I have seen some about how how'd you reduce your anxiety before you go to work on Monday? Like, I haven't clicked on them to actually figure it out because I'm like, there's nothing you can do. Like you're drunk. I'm like, thanks. But no, thanks. I appreciate the effort, but you know, it'll go nowhere because I don't even bother clicking on the vertical. But anyway, so we were chatting about an article that you'd been reading the other day and I thought it would make an interesting topic too, for this week's pod. So, uh, yeah. Did you want to talk a little bit about what you had read before?
Speaker 1 00:02:48 Oh yeah. Yeah, sure. Um, you're talking about the, the article on the nursing homes, right? Like from no, yeah, that's right. Um, so, uh, yeah, this was actually, uh, about a or so ago that I had read it and I remember sending it to you cause I was like, what the heck? You know? Um, and it, it basically, and it's something that I guess I hadn't thought about, but now I think after reading it I'm like that actually kind of makes sense. So it was talking about the lack of, um, ethnically focused, um, nursing homes in Ontario. So Ontario is where we live and just for the listeners, both Shiv and I are of, uh, I guess ethnically diverse backgrounds.
Speaker 2 00:03:33 I mean, we're both technically south Asian, so we're not sure our backgrounds are from different countries technically true. Uh,
Speaker 1 00:03:45 Yeah. So, so anyway, the article was interesting because, you know, as I was reading it, um, and I think I'm trying to remember what was it called? Um, oh, right. It was basically talking about the, you know, the shortage of nursing homes that are geared to helping ethnic groups. It's going to create problems for an aging immigrant population, right. Given, um, how much operation we have in, in Canada. This was in that Toronto star. Uh, this wasn't the Toronto star, but I remember coming across similar articles, um, and CDC, um, as well as I think it was TVO. Um, yeah, so the topic I think was just covered and it makes sense, right. Like given that, you know, we have, uh, an immigrant population that's actually getting older here. Um, and you know, but it's relatively new the situation, the social context, I guess. Um, and so, yeah, I would actually love to talk about it because, um, you know, my parents are getting older.
Speaker 1 00:04:46 Um, you know, and it's one of those things that, um, I dunno, I tend to think about a lot because I think culturally, uh, our south Asian culture, this is such an odd concept in some ways. Um, but at the same time, especially for our parents, like, I feel like we're kind of, you know, we, we kind of are used to both sides of the story, like one where it's normal for your aging parents to come live with you. But also we think it's normal for us to want to go and live in a retirement home or a nursing home ourselves, you know, so I think kind of see both sides or at least, um, you know, for me, feels like I kind of do, but, um, it's just such a weird concept, um, among the south Asian anyway, um, culture, uh, in some ways I'm just curious to hear your thoughts about it. Yeah.
Speaker 2 00:05:41 Well, I was actually surprised that there were even ethnically diverse nursing homes at all. Like I was just like, oh, I didn't even know that they had,
Speaker 1 00:05:49 Yeah, there are about 50 of them, 50 or so that, um, or to there that are considered either for a different ethnic group or they're considered culturally sensitive, the numbers might have shifted because obviously this is from last, whenever the research was done for this article. Um, so I'm guessing it's like someone, you know, 20, 20 or early 20, 21 numbers, but it's about,
Speaker 2 00:06:14 Was it a reason or was it the article was
Speaker 1 00:06:16 Recent? The article was recent, but you know, our census just got updated now. Right. So I don't actually know when those numbers and designations were.
Speaker 2 00:06:25 Oh yeah. The census was, yeah, the census was just recently updated, but I would think that for those articles they had done the research.
Speaker 1 00:06:32 I mean, that's what I'm saying. I, I assume that's the latest,
Speaker 2 00:06:35 But yeah. Well, I mean, yeah. So like when you had sent me that article, I was like, I was just surprised that there weren't even specific ones that catered to specific cultures. Cause like, I was just like, oh, now I'm just like generic nursing homes where everybody kind of has to pile in and you're just kind of like stuck, you know, like stuck in like this basically like kind of institutional type thing. But like, I think when I was reading the article, I think they would mention like, um, uh, like one that specifically catered to Chinese Canadians. And that was interesting because like they served like congee for breakfast and like everything was kind of like catered towards like, like Chinese culture basically. So, you know, like the food was catered towards, um, the, you know, this particular Chinese Canadian that they were talking about.
Speaker 2 00:07:19 And like a lot of the activities were centered around, you know, culturally specific things, which is really great. And I never really thought about it, but it would make a difference, especially for older people, who've grown up in a certain culture because it affects like their wellbeing and their health. Like they were talking about how this person who, um, is, is in this Chinese con, like this nursing home that cater specifically to Chinese Canadians, how it actually affects how much she eats in a day. Because, because if she didn't eat something that was called, like if she, if she was in a place that wasn't culturally specific, she probably wouldn't eat as much because she didn't, she wouldn't like the food. Right. And so, and that has, that has obviously downstream effects on a person's health. So I never really thought about it in that sense. So I was like, oh, that's, that's kind of interesting. So on the one hand I'm like, oh, that's really great that they have these like, that they have ones that are specific to certain cultures. But then on the other hand I was thinking like, some of them could be missed out because if you don't have enough of a certain type of culture right. In, you know, like in the city or in the province, then you would never have enough
Speaker 1 00:08:36 Representation, right. Or, or incentive to actually set up a cultural, um, uh, retirement home or a program that's specific for your culture.
Speaker 2 00:08:46 Exactly. So, I mean, yeah, so that the guts, what I was thinking, cause I was like, oh, if you don't fit into like a certain cause, you know, and that's the thing, like when you say like, oh, it's specific to Chinese Canadians, it's like, well, do you like what area of China? Because, and with many different provinces, like I, you know, like, I mean, I'm getting kind of nitpicky here, you know,
Speaker 1 00:09:12 But those are really good things to think about. Right. I mean, especially like, as we're getting older, like those are the kinds of things, um, that will matter like part of me, for example, like when it, when it comes to my parents, I always wonder like what they actually want to, um, stay in a senior retirement home or would they need to be put in a nursing home at some point? I hope not, but you know, but, or would they choose to actually go there? I don't know. Um, it's one of those things that I feel like it's easier to just not think about, you know, sometimes. Yeah.
Speaker 2 00:09:50 But then at some point you kind of have to think about
Speaker 1 00:09:53 It. Right. So anyway, I
Speaker 2 00:09:55 Know. And the thing is, is that like, yeah. Especially why, I mean, like we have similar cultures in that sense, but like, yeah. Like in my culture, you're not supposed to, like, you're supposed to take care of your elderly parents, like how it is. So like, it's funny because like, I kind of internalize that and like, okay, yeah. When they get older and they can't take care of themselves, like they'd have to move in with like either me or my brother. But the thing is, is that like, I'm now in Toronto, like I feel bad in some senses because I'm like, well, my brother kind of has to take the brunt of that anyway. But yeah, I think he uses that. Like, but because I think I've internalized it, like, I don't feel like I would want to go to a nursing home. Like, no, no, thank you. Like if I, if I get sick enough, I would just rather die at home. Thank you. <inaudible>
Speaker 1 00:10:57 Actually given it some thought. I actually don't know if I have. Oh really? Yeah. Um, I, I tend to sort of just push away those kinds of thoughts. It's like, like I think I'm too scared to think about these things. And so yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 2 00:11:14 No, I mean like the reason that I think about it so much is because I think it's because I'm in medicine, like kind of like I've seen it since I was like 20. And so you're just like, it's kind of front and center. Like it's really, it's, it's kind of weird, like, cause you're just like, oh, that could happen to me. What would happen if that happened to me? And you just kind of go down that path. So like, like I, I have, I have often thought about it and I'm like, no, no thank you. Because you don't know what's going to happen to you down the road. Right. Right.
Speaker 1 00:11:46 Yeah. Well, you know, it's also after the episode that we did on the cat lady and when you told us all these stories, I think it was around that time that I think that, that story just stuck in my head and, and really impacted me because I think that's probably one of the first times that I actually thought about these kinds of, yeah. Maybe that's why when this article had come out, um, it just made me think of, you know, um, my parents and, you know, family, friends then, and, or even, even me like, it's like, oh my gosh, like, what do you do? And, and, and, and I think the other aspect of it that worries me a little bit. Um, and you can tell that when I'm like anxious, like this is what happens. I'm like, let's just go into all the topics and like, not stick to one aspect of the conversation, but what if you can't afford, um, right. Nursing home. Right. Because the waiting lines, um, apparently are huge. I think there's like about like, um, I can't remember, but it's like in the thousands. Wow. Per nursing home. Yeah.
Speaker 2 00:12:59 Well, that's the other thing. Okay. So, okay. Yeah. Let's, let's deal with that. So yes, if you don't yet, it's one of those things where like, when they talk about retirement, I feel like they do not talk about the fact that you might need to save up for your healthcare and the possibility of being in a nursing home. Like, I feel like that should be part of your retirement plan, but like, I haven't seen any retirement. Like I haven't never seen somebody in like the financial planning role ever discuss it. It's never like, oh, and by the way, like, I wonder if it's different in the us where like people, what queer people end up having to pay out of pocket for a lot of healthcare where they maybe, yeah, actually it would be interesting. Is there, if anybody knows, like if you're in the U S and you've been like, you know, dealing with financial planners, I'm curious to know like, whether or not they're like, Hey, by the way, when you're in your seventies, you might need to like bank a certain amount for eventually health care, you know? But like, yeah. I feel like that's one thing that nobody really talks about is that you need to kind of save up money for the potentiality of like ending up in a nursing home. You know,
Speaker 1 00:14:08 Do you think this is something that the, your financial planners will talk to you when you're, when you reach a certain age? Maybe because I don't think I've ever had that conversation with.
Speaker 2 00:14:20 Yeah. But wouldn't you need the money upfront, like, should I agree with now?
Speaker 1 00:14:25 Like I wonder if it gets lumped as a category, like, oh, for your healthcare needs or something like that.
Speaker 2 00:14:32 But I feel like I've had a sit down with a financial planner and they didn't, they, there is no section with healthcare needs in it. Oh, let's save up for this. Let's save up for that. But I've never heard, like, there, there, there was no section where it was like, we project that the average person will need X amount of money. Huh. Set aside. Interesting. Is
Speaker 1 00:14:55 This something that you don't want to scare you about this person? I don't want this person to think I'm like negative and you know, I want them to invest their money with me. <inaudible>
Speaker 2 00:15:08 Maybe that's entirely possible.
Speaker 1 00:15:10 I don't know. I don't know. I, I, you know, I'm just,
Speaker 2 00:15:13 Yeah. But I don't know. I think it's like, I think it's something that needs to be discussed. Like I honestly think that you do, like, you do need to kind of plan for that financially. The other thing is, is that like, like we were looking at yeah. So we were looking through the census and I was thinking, um, well, first of all, I'm actually impressed that there, there does seem to be a nursing home for south Asians. And I was like, wow, that's that that's new. I didn't think there would be, but like, yeah. But there is. And, um, so that's, that's nice. What was it called? It was part of, it was under that Vishnu Monday or like website, right?
Speaker 1 00:15:52 Yeah. That was the one that was not, um, I think that was when we were looking it up. It was, but it was not one of the ones listed in the Ontario long-term care. I think it's more of a retirement home, not a nursing nursing home, so it's more of a retirement home. Oh,
Speaker 2 00:16:09 Okay. But there is one, there is a nursing home for south Asians though.
Speaker 1 00:16:15 I don't know if it's for just south Asians, but I think it's one of the cultural groups that it caters.
Speaker 2 00:16:21 Oh, interesting. I'd be interested to kind of like, see what the, like, how they break that down. Like when they see that they cater to that culture, like, what does that involve?
Speaker 1 00:16:33 No, I'm assuming that it means that they probably have, um, you know, that culture, uh, represented. And so they've maybe meet concessions or learnt about it or, you know, it into their programming or hire people who can speak the language, you know, you know what we should do, we should actually reach out to some of these, um, different types of long-term care and then just maybe, um, interview them for our podcast and learn about what they do to, for these kinds of situations. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 2 00:17:10 I, I would be up for that. I mean, like, yeah, it'd be interesting to see. I'm just curious. Cause like, I know you were listing off a bunch of different cultures and like, I'm curious to know what a long-term care home that caters to like the finish is like all about like, that was pretty
Speaker 1 00:17:26 Cool. I see. Like, you know, they have, they had, um, in that list of like different cultures that they have or that they cater to, they had Chinese, Korean, Japanese, um, one for east Indian. Um, they had a Caribbean listed, they listing there, they had Lithuanian Sylvanian Finnish Estonian. So, you know, pretty cool. I think like, you know,
Speaker 2 00:17:53 Sorry. No, I just had a flashback cause I was just like how I hope that they have updated that because I vaguely remember that the cat lady was technically like, yeah. So John Lawrence was staying with an S like the house that she was staying at a quote house she was living in was like actually owned by an Estonian family. So I know I'm like, is that long-term? No.
Speaker 1 00:18:21 And I'm sure it's been, that was, that was what was that? 10 years ago? Eight years ago. She died, I think in the nineties. In the late night. In the nineties. Yeah. No, I'm pretty sure, you know, very it's probably updated and things like that. They actually have like more stringent inspections don't you think?
Speaker 2 00:18:44 Yeah. Yeah. I mean, they're supposed to write, like, it's been, it's been written into law, so I mean, I would, I would hope so, but I dunno, I dunno how often, I don't know how I'm not really sure exactly how that works. The other thing that I was thinking was just that, like, it's interesting that they cater to all these groups in the province, but then the other thing I was thinking was that like, according to the 2016 census, like the two large, like the two largest, um, immigrant groups are Chinese Canadians and Indo Canadians. And I think they each like according to the 2016 census, so like not, this could be, this is already outdated. I'm sure. But like, um, yeah, so I think Chinese Canadians make about, make up about 5% of the Canadian population in Indo-Canadian and we got four. So if you think about that, so like, yeah. So if you think about that then, like you would think that of the 600 or so long-term care homes that are around that at least 10% should be like culturally specific for like the major groups. Right.
Speaker 1 00:19:53 So like those two alone. Yeah.
Speaker 2 00:19:56 Just those two, like not even the only other ones. Right? Yeah. So you can see that there's quite a shortage, like there's quite a shrapnel.
Speaker 1 00:20:04 Yeah. And I think that was the point that the articles were trying to make the CBC and the star article. I think that's what they were seeing is that with an aging population, uh, you know, where there are so many are going to be so many immigrant, um, ages, uh, aged population, um, that not having the right frameworks and infrastructure in place, um, was going to probably create a lot of issues, you know?
Speaker 2 00:20:31 Yeah. And I mean like, yeah. Especially if you think about the fact that like, this happens quite a lot, like even among like, especially like patients with dementia, is that when you put, like, when you pull them out of their home into like a long-term care home or nursing home, like they already go the already undergo like a lot of stress around that because they lost their familiar surroundings. Right. And then if you add the fact that if they come from a not like, could you add that layer of the fact that they come from a different culture? Like I wonder, I wonder how it affects their health overall, you know? I think, yeah, it really is. Yeah. And actually I think curious, cause like, like, especially speaking as a south Asian where like, it is kind of ingrained into your culture that like you're supposed to take care of family. Like I wonder how people feel about sending. Like, I don't know if I had kids, I'd be like, you're not sending me to a nursing home because like, I don't want to go,
Speaker 1 00:21:33 No, no, that's totally fair. Like my mom, one day she was feeling depressed about something and then she's like, make sure you don't send me to a home. Okay. Like, and I was like, I felt terrible that I'm like why? And she must've watched something on TV or something. So she didn't actually give me the context of why this was even an issue. But she was like, literally, like she came up to me and she's like, you have to make sure that, you know, she's like, I'm just going to let you know that if anything happens to your dad, I'm just going to come live with you. Okay. And I'm like, she must have been worried about my dad or something know we're like, oh my God. Like you said, because I'm like that ostrich proverbial ostrich. I'm like, yeah. Yeah. And then I just sort of brush it off so that I don't have to talk about it, you know, about it.
Speaker 1 00:22:27 So, but yeah, no, it's definitely weird to think from like, I don't know if I would actually want to go to a nursing home, but, um, but I also don't know if I would, I mean, I don't have children, so I guess it's a moot point anyway. But then like if I get so old that I can't take care of myself, what do you do or what to do? And so I don't know, you know, at some point if the Lord it'll just make sense to have to move, to actually move to a nursing home at some point. Yeah.
Speaker 2 00:22:59 Yeah. Well I knew, okay, this is going to get grim, but like, I, I, and I, and I still have to do it, but like I was like speaking to, um, a lawyer about like setting up a will and setting up like a living will. And um, I still haven't pulled the trigger. I don't know why actually. I think I just got busy and I couldn't, I actually have to call her back and be like, Hey anyway. Yeah. But like, um, yeah. See, whereas, and this is because I think a lot about this, the, these things, cause I'm fucking morbid, but
Speaker 1 00:23:32 Like part of me is like, oh my God, this is like the saddest conversation wherever we've ever had.
Speaker 2 00:23:40 That's sad. But not that being twisted
Speaker 1 00:23:49 Right now. Like, um, yeah. It is sad. I don't know. It just,
Speaker 2 00:23:57 It comes from us all. You have to prepare for it. You have to think about what's going to happen. Otherwise it'll like blindside you and then you'll be like, oh fuck. I didn't think about this. You know? Anyway, so yeah. So I was talking to this person about like a living will. And so I think, yeah, I've been thinking I'm like, well, if I ever get to that point, hopefully it's in my living. Will that like, I do not want to live anymore. And you can like help me with assisted dying. That's my goal. I'm not going to go to a nursing home. I would die instead. Thank God. Okay. Yeah. And this pod, and now this probably because like a recording. So if anything happens, I'll, I'll get it notarized. So now like stuck as being like witnesses to this. But anyway, but yeah, I mean I'm being facetious, but like, it is probably something that like, I'm not saying everybody has to think about it, but like I, yeah. Like I think about it a little bit.
Speaker 1 00:25:15 What is it then like, so like what is the huge averse? Like I know you've said you've internalized it. What, what, like, why do you think you have like,
Speaker 2 00:25:28 Oh, just because, okay. So, okay. Okay. So is that part of like, and then this doesn't totally explain it, but so when I was, um, when I was younger and like planning to go into med school and stuff, like you have to do, you know, you have to do a lot of, kind of extracurricular activities. Right. And so part of that, like this friend of mine, who's also, pre-med when she was in junior high, I want to say, yeah, junior high, she like came up to me and she was like, oh, you know, like I'm volunteering for this. Cause what, what was it called? It was, it was basically the center for like, for like differently able like children and, and, and then I also volunteered as part of the hospital and I think through, so actually don't get me wrong, the center for this, like for D like for, for these extras, like different people, children and adults.
Speaker 2 00:26:24 But like often they had like congenital diseases, like, uh, cause like brain injury or one woman was like hit by lightning, just crazy. And like, yeah. And so then she ended up like, unfortunately she needed help because I know now she was like cognitively impaired and she needed help, like taking care of herself. And so, um, so don't get me wrong. That institution was actually really good. Like everyone treated the, like the nine patients, but like the residents that really well. And, um, you know, and as part of that, like we were part of the entertainment for that. Like we would take them out on like walks and like the games with them and stuff like that. And, but like the thing is, is that like, I just felt that like, and this is if you're very lucky, but like nobody will really take as good care of you as you're famous as your family.
Speaker 2 00:27:17 If you're lucky, like if you're lucky and you have a loving family, because don't get me wrong, I have heard like four stories of like people who are not in that situation. But like, yeah, like if you happen to roll the dice and it works out for you, like nobody will really take as good care of you as family. And so, yeah, like I think that's what it was like, it was just kind of like, like the people can be really well-meaning and like really, you know, like want to do everything for you because out of the goodness of their heart, but there's only so many of them, there's only so much of their time that they can like give and like, and it's not like, yeah, just, it'll never be 24 7. Right. Like it's just however long they can be on their shift and like they're gone, you know, like, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1 00:28:03 No, that's that's fair. Um, yeah, I think I probably, um, grew up with those kinds of, uh, similar thoughts, floating thoughts, or like vicinity that I probably absorbed through osmosis, um, magically, but those were actually probably very similar to how, um, I would think as well for now, you know, where it's like, oh my gosh. Like, especially like with my parents and stuff, it's like, oh, I guess. Yeah. You know? Yeah. Okay. I guess you can come stay with me. No, I know. I'm just kidding. Um, so of course they can come stay with me.
Speaker 2 00:28:54 It's a lot though, because like some people don't have kids then what, some people only have one child, you know, and then like, and that one person is now supposed to like take care of potentially two people.
Speaker 1 00:29:08 But even if they, you have two children, what are the children's supposed to do is separate the parents.
Speaker 2 00:29:13 Yeah. I know that's exactly it.
Speaker 1 00:29:14 Right. It's like easy for me to do both. So, you know, mom, you go stay with sibling a and dad, you stay with me or vice versa. No, that can't be that. I don't know. It's tough, man. Like all of them, all of these things, it just makes my so much easier.
Speaker 2 00:29:42 No, I know. But like it's, but I mean the, on the other hand, like just to get back to the topic, like, it's nice to see that there are these places that do cater specifically to certain cultures. Like it's good to see. I'm glad that people have thought about it and like to be available. Absolutely.
Speaker 1 00:30:03 Absolutely. And I loved like, like even the fact that, you know, this topic was covered, um, at sea, uh, on CBC and it started like, it goes to show you that, you know, people are looking into it and keeping, you know, and thinking about it as well. Right. Like as a society, we're paying attention to these kinds of issues. So it's not just, Hey, do we have, um, the right number of nursing care or nursing homes and retirement homes, do you know? But also is it the right type
Speaker 2 00:30:38 Of care? Right. So
Speaker 1 00:30:40 That's actually a super nice, um, and it gives me hope, you know, that
Speaker 2 00:30:46 We're old. There'll be like, there'll be,
Speaker 1 00:30:49 Um, there was this other article that I had read about, um, these retirement towns, you know, which actually sounds more like a resort, to be honest, I don't know how true it is, but that's how the, the article had portrayed it. Like, you know, that the residents living there, um, you know, they golf and they go here and they do this and, you know, there's, um, uh, different, fun things that they can do. So, um, so yeah,
Speaker 2 00:31:15 This was, this was in, but this was not in Canada,
Speaker 1 00:31:18 Right? This wasn't, this was actually believe it or not in India, that's surprising. We have a town that caters just for the retirement community, which I thought was kinda cool. And, you know, so, so wait
Speaker 2 00:31:34 A minute. So are you saying it's just like, like Tampa in India or something, or like <inaudible>
Speaker 1 00:31:41 Yeah, that's exactly what it sounded like. Um, the, our article was interviewing these people and they were basically saying that, you know, um, the population demographics are changing in that a lot of them, um, you know, uh, they think slightly differently. They don't want to be a burden to their kids or their kids have emigrated to different countries. Um, and so they, they, they didn't want to, they want to stay behind, but they realize they need, you know, um, uh, so society or help or whatever what happened. So, so the woman, one of the women, I think it was a woman. Yeah. Yes, it was, I'm pretty sure. Um, she, she had basically said that she had moved there because she loved her independence and she wanted, um, you know, she's like, I didn't want my son's life, like, you know, to impose on him and he has his freedom and I have my freedom and this way he's only two away.
Speaker 1 00:32:39 We can see each other, but I have, you know, um, my life, my own life. Yeah, totally sounds wonderful as well. Right. So, yeah, so I mean, I think like as long as you can, um, I can see that, you know, that, that is definitely quite appealing. And, and, uh, they talked about the, that area of the town actually having certain sections where it, they cater to like people with Alzheimer's or dementia, you know, so it's like more intensive care and the kind of support, but the point was that they actually have these kinds of support systems in place that they're building towards. But I mean, I imagine that in a place like India, that they probably have to deal with, um, societal expectations as well. Like it might be what you want to go and live in a small town or a different known like family. So I don't know, um, you know, how that will progress over time, but I did think that this was interesting. Yeah.
Speaker 2 00:33:48 It it's interesting that, uh, it kinda like, it kinda shows that people are thinking about aging differently in different like yeah. In different cultures. Right. Like, because yeah. They can India. I, um, I honestly don't think that like, that probably wouldn't be the norm. People would just be really surprised that anybody would choose to do that. Right. They'd be like, why aren't you moving in with your son? Exactly. So, um, yeah. I'm wondering if that will change over time.
Speaker 1 00:34:24 We'll right. Like, I mean, I think that, um, the, the more we've become a lot more nuclear, I guess, in, in, in, even in our community. So I bet you that, you know, that there will be quite a few, at least an increased number, uh, where maybe it won't be such a surprise to society to see that, um, people making those kinds of decisions.
Speaker 2 00:34:49 Yeah, yeah. Or that like, yeah. Like you might want to go to like, or it won't be so much of a taboo in south Asian culture to like send, you know, like for parents to be in like a long-term care home. Right. Like, yeah. Anyway, that's, it's kind of interesting things to think about things to think about. Definitely things to think about
Speaker 1 00:35:16 I, from today, I will pretend I pretend to forget it.
Speaker 2 00:35:26 It's do bunny. Yeah. Yeah. Pretty sure. Well, I, I won't, because I think about these things quite <inaudible>
Speaker 1 00:35:38 Finalized your living. Well,
Speaker 2 00:35:41 I wouldn't have to think about it at all, but it will be like, yep. It's all set. I'm good until I need to change it again or something, but yeah. Anyway. Yeah. I was going to say I'm like, I think that that's pretty much an episode. I think so.
Speaker 1 00:36:05 Yeah. Pretend I didn't remember any of this.
Speaker 2 00:36:11 We need to figure out how to conquer your anxiety around thinking about these things. Well, this is a reason we started the, like one of my reasons for starting
Speaker 1 00:36:22 I'm like anxiety takes over every little piece from the serious to the non-serious from the ridiculous, you know, from like actual things to really be anxious about, to utterly ridiculous things, to be anxious about what, you know, it's like a backlog, like that's just sucks in all of my rational thinking when it comes to aging, you know? Oh, no. Okay.
Speaker 2 00:36:49 Well hopefully this helped, I think, yeah. I wonder if talking to somebody from these long-term care homes will help you. Right.
Speaker 1 00:36:58 I hope so someday.
Speaker 2 00:37:01 Well, your anxiety where you'll be like, it's okay. It's okay. You can come to come to a long-term care home. You don't have to actually undergo assisted dying before this. Anyway, joining us on this really morbid topic,
Speaker 1 00:37:31 Definitely tweet at us, or, you know, send us a message on Instagram, Facebook, or even email us at, does this make me look old, um, at gmail.com and, uh, yeah. Join in the conversation, you know, how are you getting ready for getting, you know, nursing home yay or nay, uh, when you get older, uh, curious to hear that
Speaker 2 00:37:53 Actually. Yeah, exactly. Anyway, it was really good to, uh, yeah, it was good to talk to you soon. Bye.
