Episode 4: Birthdays are hard!

Speaker 0 00:00:03 Huh. Speaker 1 00:00:04 Hi and welcome to does this make me look old, a podcast about aging as gracefully as possible when you're just not ready for two 40 something year old friends will find themselves kind of straddling that really odd period of time when aging and everything that it's associated with is starting to become a much bigger part of our lives. We're definitely curious, but at the same time, rather terrified about aging. I'm Chev. I'm a health science nerd and pop culture themes, and I'm SIM and adult and waiting obsessed with finance and self-help books. We're going to be talking about the stereotypes of aging and how they affect us. And we'll also be doing some deeper dives into some interesting topics, such as what it's like to get old in the society dating when you're older and scientific advancements in anti-aging products and even evolution and scientific thinking around aging and throughout it, all we chat rant laugh about are adulting mishaps of which there are so, so, so many. Speaker 1 00:01:02 So join us as we navigate our second quarter life crisis. Hi, welcome back to, does this make me look old? A podcast around aging? So me, I wanted to actually talk about a very interesting phenomenon. I noticed on a weekend that seminar I spent in the company of her friends celebrating actually wasn't a milestone. It was a milestone for one of our friends, but anyway, but you know, it was, it was, Oh, I know we all, we all forgot, but yeah, it was technically a milestone milestone birthday for one of our friends. Oh gosh. So because of the pandemic, we had to have this kind of joint birthday party, just so that, uh, you know, to minimize the social distance, like to minimize the number of social events that we would have to have. And in our group of friends, we, uh, we ha we all have our entire circle anyway, but yes, we still do make sure that we take a lot of time apart and it's always socially distanced. Speaker 1 00:02:07 Yeah, exactly. So we actually decided to have like a combined birthday party, um, for a number of us because we all have birthdays around the same time. And, uh, yeah, it brought up some very interesting feelings around aging. And so I just wanted to chat about that because, you know, people do have this kind of discomfort around aging, but it really comes up when you start thinking about how old you're getting. And, and I think that at this function, we all, you know, took a moment to realize that yet we're getting older and what that means to us and different people really had different feelings around it and takes on those things. I think that's what surprised me was the nuances of like, I don't know, it was almost like a political discussion, you know, where, you know what I mean? It's, here's where I stand on topic X. Speaker 1 00:03:01 Yeah. But on this other issue, I'm a lot more, you know, open to certain ideas and I'm like, what did we cover? We covered so many different things we covered from menopause. Yeah. Which none of us are hopefully going through right now, but we're all heading there soon. And we'll have to be thinking about that. Are we? Yeah, it will end up in, so pin in it, we're probably ended up putting, or probably end up discussing that in a later topic. Yeah. Well, no, I'm not acknowledging that that's something that happens to my mother. Okay. So it was going to live in her delusional bubble. That's fine. It's always fine. Maybe, but no, but yeah, like we talked about, um, how our parents should be behaving, uh, dying her hair, um, physical changes, um, being sexy at a certain age or stopping sexy. Yeah, yeah. Speaker 1 00:03:58 Yeah. Like stopping like when and how you can be sexy. Yeah. What age I was just surprised was like, yeah. What I was interested. Well, what I found interesting was like the internal policing that we have around aging and how it's different for different people. Like, um, yeah. I just found that, I find that curious, Oh gosh. But, okay. So I have to ask though. Yeah. Which one stood out, like which topic got to you the most? Oh, Y uh, that's an interesting thing. I think, I think it's, I think it's kind of fascinating how some people view certain ages and the actions that you can and can't do like ages. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I, I, the, are you talking about the clothes? Yeah. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And brought it up because, um, well, I mean, who knows part of, part of it just might be just because I have Peter pan syndrome and I don't want to acknowledge that I'm aging. Speaker 1 00:05:15 So for example, I had brought up the fact that I don't like it when, you know, you go online and certain blogs or mag magazine articles, I talk about how you should wear your makeup in a certain way. And like, what I had brought up was that, you know, glitter is a no-no when you're over 40 or whatever it is, I have brought that up as a way that like women police, other women, what they can and can't do at certain ages, but, you know yeah. But then that brought up some interesting ideas around what women can wear at certain ages when, when women, when women are allowed to be sexy when they're not. And I think that, uh, yeah, that one actually got to me too, in a way, like, it got me thinking, because I mean, we've all done that, right? Like you sort of see someone and you're like, Oh, what is she wearing? Speaker 1 00:06:09 Or why is she wearing that at her age? And you're right. It is an internal policing that we sort of implement for ourselves and for others. And I think it's the four others that I, I realized that I don't want to think that way necessarily because it's like, if you actually can carry it off, what difference does it make? What age you were. Exactly. Yeah. And I think that, and the other thing that I find problematic is that I think we all have it, there's this internal ageism that we all have, or we've been taught to have, and that we use it to police don't wear red lipstick. If you're 75, exactly. Or anybody kind of goes back to like these weird rules, right. Like don't wear white after labor day. Like why? Like, it, it doesn't make that rule's been destroyed, but see, that's what I mean. Speaker 1 00:06:59 But it used to be a rule, right. Like people could not wear white after labor day for some bizarre reason people followed it. But yeah. And since then it's been destroyed. So I don't understand why it can't be destroyed for aging. Right. Like for women at 40 women at 50. And the other thing is that I find interesting is that it's always women. Why is it always winning? Like why can't men? How come these discussion doesn't happen around men? Are there any rules for older men? Really? No. I mean, I can't think of any, I mean, I'm sure there must be maybe that maybe men have associate actually have some guy on the show on the show and sort of ask them like, you know, these kinds of discussions or the interesting thing stereotypes about it. Yeah. So the interesting thing is, and I actually have like this, um, it's not going to be a subscription, but like I get this newsletter to, um, a men's magazine and I know it's weird. Speaker 1 00:07:55 Yeah. You learn something new, but <inaudible> interesting article. They always have interesting articles on travel, but it's always geared to like a more male, um, why women don't travel. This is what I'm saying. You don't realize this, do you, but it's true. They market traveling differently to men versus women and the reason, so I looked at this travel article and as I I'm interested in this, so I just subscribed to the newsletter. So now I get all of these articles that are geared towards men. And honestly, I don't see the same policing around men's behavior. Then I see in the women's articles, which I find fascinating. And so I feel that there is a certain misogyny around eight, eight, 100%. Yeah. It's funny because that term that you use the policing, I think that's, what's troubling about the whole thing is the fact that it has such a negative connotation for both, for the people who being policed, as well as the people who are policing exactly. Speaker 1 00:08:58 Right. Because what does it say about both groups that, you know, one group is quote, unquote, behaving badly and the other group is judging them. And so it's, it's not a pretty conversation. No, no, exactly. And, and the thing is, is that like at that get together, I just, I was trying to think of ways in which I have internalized this kind of misogyny internalized, this kind of re like not racism, but like ageism around in my life and my right. Like, I mean, yeah. Cause I I'm, I'm sure, like I'm sure many times when I was younger or even, probably even now, like you, you look, you do look at other people and go, Oh my God, who did they think they are? Why are they wearing this? Why are they wearing that? But then, but then at the end of the day, if this is what makes people happy, if this is what they need to get through the day, like more power to them, they should, they shouldn't do what makes them feel confident. Like as long as if you're not hurting anybody. Speaker 1 00:10:02 I mean, that's ideal though, but, but it doesn't sort of address, like how, how do you then support those conversations? Or how do you have, but not support? How do you have those conversations? Yeah. See, the common stereotype is like, you know, if you're 85, don't be wearing a mini skirt and a tank top, you know, so many articles around that. Sorry, I have to digress. But like, yeah. Women's, women's articles around that. Drive me insane. If you were 85 and you look hot in a miniskirt fucking skirt, I don't understand the problem. Like what does age have to do with exactly. Let's just be honest about it. <inaudible> Speaker 1 00:10:54 but it should, because I feel like people get away with everything in life. This is true. I'm going to murder somebody. You better be hot. That's not even funny. And yet I'm laughing, Oh my God, that actually I'm going to digress. That actually terrifies me because did you watch the Ted Bundy documentary on Netflix? And it is the fact that he's quote unquote considered good looking that he was able to get away with it for so long. Cause girls, he would go up to random women to talk to them and, and it was just like, he's good looking. He must be safe. He must be a nice guy. Oh God, it's terrible girls, terrible girls do not get sucked in. Yeah. So luckily this podcast is about aging. So we'll just focus on the aging component and disregard that, you know, we're not even a real word word. Speaker 2 00:11:57 <inaudible>, it's okay. You can wear whatever you want, but you know, it is true though. Speaker 1 00:12:06 I think it's, you know, like, I mean we're joking, but the thing is, I think it comes down to having confidence in what you're wearing. And I think that if you're comfortable much confidence as an arrogance, but a true inner confidence that comes from knowing who you are and being okay with it, you know? And, and I think that in some cases it's okay. I'm not in some cases in most cases, actually I should say it's okay to be, you know, wearing a mini skirt and a tank top. If that's what you want to, for sure. I mean, men wear what Speedos still technically, if we're going to go down that route of what you should and should not wear, definitely do not wear that. Speaker 2 00:12:50 <inaudible> don't worry. Speaker 1 00:12:55 Um, I'm sorry. It doesn't matter. It was don't look good on anyone. It doesn't matter. Exactly. It does not matter Speaker 2 00:13:01 Do not wear them. That's just now we're being Speedo with, it's just, Oh, I think this is why I left, Speaker 1 00:13:14 But uh, like I wanted to start this, this, because like we're not consistent, right? Like in, in this whole aging process and, and what we, how we apply it in our own lives, how it, we apply it to others. And I think that night that's what stood out to me is that there were five of us and between the five of us, it was almost fluid in the way, like we kept coming back to a topic and then sort of taking different sides. But like, you know, like it's not like one person took a consistent side every time. Yeah. And it was just interesting because you could sort of almost hear the wheels turning and everyone's head as they're trying to figure out their own path. Yeah. Or their own attitude towards aging. It's aging. Right. With a sense of almost wonder, like, I remember when we were talking about a hair dye and, and that was cute in Speaker 2 00:14:05 A way, like, because it was kind of like, Speaker 1 00:14:08 You know, cause I remember the first time I saw a gray hair, I, you know, I think it was like a year and year and a half ago. Sorry, I hate her because I went gray at like 20. I didn't go fully gray, but I started getting gray hairs 25. So <inaudible> sense of shock that I felt, but it wasn't until this pandemic that I started noticing more and more. Yeah. And I literally had Speaker 2 00:14:33 A meltdown. Speaker 1 00:14:36 I, I fully, I fully understand because like I remember actually I'm pretty sure mine was like karma induced. Cause I had this roommate who was older than me by a couple of years. And he, he was growing great at like 20 ish, early twenties. And I would laugh at him. I'd be like, ha ha. You're going gray. And then a few years later it hit me <inaudible> but you know, but what's funny is until I actually freaked out about it, I won't lie. I actually wanted to be like Morticia or Lily Munster or rogue from X-Men yeah, yeah. Just a brace. It, we just embraced the light. I just wanted that. Like I wanted that Stacey, you know, from what not to wear, like I loved it. Like I always thought that was so cool and that I felt that, you know, if I start going gray, I'm just going to go with a salt and pepper look and I'm not so sure I'm going to be able to do that now because I literally dyed my hair the other day. Speaker 1 00:15:45 Yeah. Uh, in the summer, the, for the first time to hide my gray. Yeah. And I did not ever think that I was going to do it. Wow. And so it was a moment of deep self reflection about what a shallow person I am. But then I was thinking, and then that pissed me off because I was like, well, what the fuck am I being shallow? Like what is shallow about this? Like anyway, nevermind. I'm not making sense, but I think that's, that shows you how traumatized by the gray hair. But it's interesting. I do know what you mean though, because like I've been done obviously since I've gone, since I've had gray hair, I have been dyeing my hair. Um, and uh, so on the one hand, I'm all like, let me hide my grades. But on the other hand, I'm like, we shouldn't, we shouldn't be ages. It's a very, it's an interesting dichotomy that you can have in your own mind. Speaker 1 00:16:39 Um, and the thing is, is that like, even though I don't believe in age-ism I probably will be dyeing my hair until I die. You know? Like it's just, it's just, it is what it is like, it's just, you know, and I think that's what I was struggling with. The fact is that, I mean, I think part of me always knew that I wouldn't be aging gracefully. I mean, you just have to know me to know a part of me also thinks that I shouldn't have to age gracefully because there shouldn't be one way to age you're going to die anyway and you're going to get old anyway. So I just don't understand why there has to be quote unquote, a way to do it. So when I think that way, you're right. I'm always also like, you know what, fuck it. Like dye your hair, don't dye your hair dye at seven different colors. Speaker 1 00:17:29 It's all good. Yeah. But then again, I also want to be comfortable in my own skin to sort of say, you know, yeah, I need to dye my hair. Yeah. But there is that whole movement, right. Where people are embracing their, their, their gray hair and um, you know, more power to them. Love that actually. Yeah. It's amazing. Like these women, I've seen the Instagram pictures and they, they look so amazing. And I just wish I had that confidence to just be like, yeah, I'm going to go gray. So this brings me to my next question though. Yeah. How do we get that confidence? How do we build on for ourselves? We're not even, I'm not even asking for like anyone else, like, I'm literally asking your opinion on the podcast on the podcast because I've been struggling with that recently. And in fact, actually after that night, the conversation. Speaker 1 00:18:22 Yeah. Like just like, you know, we talked about what the right age is, you know, like to be sexy or find someone or like whatever, right? Like all those different topics came up and being single as fuck right now. I'm a single ETF, I guess I should say. But anyway, you know, I did have that moment of panic and in that conversation, because I was like, Oh my God. Like if I'm supposed to shut down and not be sexy and not be this and follow the laid out path that is being set up in front of me, of how I should be behaving. Um, then, then what, what if, what if I don't find someone and, and, but then part of that is you realize it's, it's conditioned by the fact that I think that only young people get other like partners easily. Yeah. That's not true. Speaker 1 00:19:16 Okay. And, and, and the one thing, the one thing that I do want to put a caveat on is this idea that the minute you hit menopause, suddenly you're not sexy anymore that I find that, or you don't have the right to be like, yeah. And it was brought up. It was brought up at that, you know, at that, at that conversation. Okay. First of all, there are many ways to be sexy. It doesn't have to be looked so long. It doesn't have to be a certain type of clothes. It has, it has nothing to do with those appearances, like sexiness does it doesn't actually have anything to do with appearance. It's all about projecting confidence and just being secure in who you are. Like, there are some people who, I mean, by the standard, the standards of Hollywood's appearance, what am I trying to say? Speaker 1 00:20:12 Like basically like if on the Hollywood meter you like ranked somebody, they would not rank very highly, but because of their personality, they're considered sexy. Right. So, so this is what I have an issue with. Like, I, I don't see why age has anything to do with sexiness. Like, you can be sexy at 20, you can be sexy at 40. You can be sexy at a hundred. Like if you're like me, you'd never get to that stage. I wasn't sexy. I'm definitely not sexy. So I don't think it's, um, like I don't think that it's something that's owned by youth necessarily. And, but isn't it funny how society thinks it is though? Yeah. No, that, but that's what we've been fed. We've been fed that sexiness is, and there's an expectation that you shouldn't act a certain way or be sexy. Yeah. But, but then there's so many people where you can just, there's so many examples where people are sexy at older ages. Speaker 1 00:21:15 Like, I mean, like Jane Fonda fucking hot. Oh my God. Like, I mean, Helen Mirren, I think is perfection or you're going to Thompson. Right. Like I think she's sexy. Yeah. Like there's such a badass. Yeah, exactly. Honestly, like obviously a lot of it has to do with looks, they are attractive women. They had always been attractive, but then some of that is just their confidence, their personality it's because they're attractive that they have the confidence that's entirely possible. Right. I mean, I'm trying to think of like, you know, certain examples where they are old Nancy Pelosi, super sexy. That's true. I don't know what she looked like when she was younger, but I, like, I still can't get that image of her coming out of the white house and that orange code. And I'm like, what, what pops color, color and her sunglasses. And I'm like, Oh my God. Speaker 1 00:22:06 Like, I think she's like 80. That's crazy. I had no idea Nancy Pelosi was in her eighties. And actually we'll have to come back to that. The reason I found that out. Um, but that's also, but it's the other side for men. But anyway, moment, I was like, thinking about Joe Biden. We have, we had this discussion offline where I was just like, why is there age-ism around Joe Biden is like, anyway, so back to Nancy Pelosi. Yeah. I was stunned because I mean, you know, like she always, I think she always looked graceful. I don't follow her politics much. So I don't actually know what she stands for and what she doesn't stand for. Um, you know, but just from a pure aesthetic perspective that time, like when she basically was, you know, speaking up against, um, whatever, you know, like against like the against Trump and the Republicans, there was that whole hullabaloo about her orange coat. Speaker 1 00:23:05 And, and that image though of that moment, I was like, Holy crap. Like, this is like, you are such a cool person. And I felt like, and then all of a sudden I think that she looked like strong and sexy and powerful and fun all at the same time. You know? And so, and then of course that gets compounded by the fact when you realize she's 80, where you're like, Holy crap, me and my prejudice, because I didn't think 80 or women or men could look like that, you know, or act like that. You know? And then that is, and the reason I was researching her age was because, um, I wasn't researching her age. I was actually looking up Joe Biden and reading up, you know, about how he's going to be the oldest president, um, uh, next year. And I was surprised because I, in that article, they were like, basically talking about, you know, the different people at what age they became presidents or powerful or whatever. Speaker 1 00:24:08 And that's where they mentioned that Nancy. Wow. I think I find it very disturbing that in the entire, like all of the campaigning age is even a factor. I mean, okay. Like, yes, certain aspects of age can, you know, the can, what's the word I'm looking for impact leading. So for example, you know, we all know now, like Reagan had Alzheimer's while he was president and yes Alzheimer's is associated with aging, but that does not mean that all old people have Alzheimer's. And so, you know, if it, like, if, if somebody who is by all intents and purposes, and for all we know, like completely COPUS mentors, like Joe Biden is, I don't understand why we are bringing age into it at all. No, but, but isn't the thing though, is I think people are saying that, Oh, what if he doesn't survive? But then that's why I'm just surprised that Trump actually made it through four years in seeing presidency drop over from a heart attack, like any minute. And yet he continued to keep going. No one seemed to think that like Trump was an issue that's true. Speaker 1 00:25:34 During his campaigns, he brought up that Hillary was, and Hillary was not older than him. Oh my God, are you kidding me? I'm not even joking. Yeah. He had actually brought up the Hillary. I think Hillary had pneumonia while she was campaigning and she, you know, had to take some time off in order to deal with fricking pneumonia. And then he brought up how frail and fragile she was as an older woman. And really, did you want somebody as president, if she was going to be, if she was going to die, get me started on this. I still do not understand this last few years. <inaudible> Speaker 1 00:26:14 I really don't understand it. I call it the darkest timeline and we're not even Americans. Um, yeah, but no, going back to the topic of aging you're right. Like, okay. So that's an example of like how women are held to a different standard and, and in Joe Biden's case also, but Joe Biden gets held to it at 78 and like, Hillary is much younger than him and he was brought up, you know? And I think that like, that's the inherent misogyny that is in some, some age-ism right. A hundred percent anyway, sorry, I could, I could go on for this for hours. Speaker 2 00:26:50 But then actually Speaker 1 00:26:50 That brings me to another topic that I found very interesting. What you were saying, which is when you were saying that, like with regard to like Jane Fonda and Helen Mirren with regard to the fact that they are confident because they were pretty, they were attractive and they still are, and they still are. It's true. And I mean, I think there is something to that. Like I think that, um, how you were treated when you were younger, has an impact on how you feel when you're older. Right? Like I've made that. I think that really, like, if your confidence is fostered at an earlier age, do you think that it's possible that you're more like you, you gain more confidence as you get older because you come, you come from a higher point of self esteem when you're younger, which, which then goes to the fact like, which then brings up the FA or not brings up the fact, but brings up the topic of like, really we should be, we should be instilling self-confidence in our youth. Speaker 1 00:27:49 Like, I think that to play devil's advocate, don't you think that some of the helicopter parents of today's generation that you read all these articles? I don't know. I don't have kids, but I read about, I read about these articles. Like basically how, um, you know, there's a prize for participation. So you're building so much confidence that people, kids don't actually learn how to deal with setbacks and obstacles is that no. See the thing is, is that if you're a helicopter parent, you're not really instilling confidence in your child. What you're saying is this isn't good enough. Let's get it to good enough, but I'm going to do it for you. So that's not really your nine suing self-confidence in that child. And that child is now learning that, Oh, they can not to mommy and daddy. Pardon? They can run to mommy and daddy for not even just run to mommy and daddy, but more like, I don't have the initiative or the ability to actually carry this out. I have to run to mommy and daddy. That's true. So instilling confidence. It's basically saying you can't do anything without exactly. Oh, that's actually, I never thought of that. Right. So I like, so this entire like helicopter parenting co like increasing confidence in children, I don't think it actually is. I have a feeling that it's actually undermining children's self-confidence so yeah, no, no, you're absolutely right. I actually hadn't thought of it that way. So yeah. That's good to know people. Can Speaker 2 00:29:21 I still learn something new every single day Speaker 1 00:29:26 Then, you know, that also brings me to the fact that how much responsibility do you have to develop confidence and build confidence within yourself? Do you need external validation and people to take that responsibility to instill that confidence in you to foster that in you? What does that okay. Why don't we get through that? Okay. Um, so I think like, what I mean is like, you know, you're saying that, Oh, you know, it's because their confidence has fostered from a very young age. Yeah. Well, what if you're really pretty? And that confidence isn't it fostered. Oh, what happens in those instances? Like, as in, what if like, where's your self accountability for it? Like where is it that, you know, I'm going to develop my own confidence? Like, it doesn't matter what other people say I'm still good enough. You. Yeah. Speaker 1 00:30:12 I don't know. I mean, like it it's really person it's really person dependent. Right. It's very individual dependent, I guess. Like, I guess my issue is, is that, can we just provide the tools to people for them to do what they want? Right. Like, because I think, I guess what my issue is is that like, and once again, I'm going back to media, but like for the longest time, you know, women's, self-confidence was undermine. You're not good enough. You're not smart enough. You, um, you don't, you know, you don't look good, you need to do these things in order to look better. Like, and when you, when you're constantly hearing that from all sides, like what kind of effect does that have on you? Right. And how, how does it, like, what kind of trajectory does your life have when your internal monologue is always something like, no, I can be better. Speaker 1 00:31:08 This is, this is not my son itself. Yeah. That's true. Right. So, yeah. So I mean like, and, and part of that is the policing. Like, this is why this is, so it comes back to you. Like, I think that society in general, polices women very harshly and like, we really need to make, to take, like, to really take a, like a, a look at our own thinking and to see how we're fostering that kind of thinking in our like actions and in our speech. Right. So that's true. So coming back to the concept of being uncomfortable. Yeah. Is it because we expect the policing that we're uncomfortable with maybe, Oh, that's an interesting thought. Do you know what I mean? Like, okay. Like, I mean, I mean, is it like, had there been no police saying, like, maybe is that why men in general tend to be less affected by AGM because they're not policed in any shape or form? Speaker 1 00:32:12 Yeah. That's yeah. That's it, that's an entire, that's an interesting, that's a really interesting thing to think about. It's true. Like how often do men get told that, you know, don't wear this, if you're that old. Yeah. Don't go after this. The only, the only way that I've ever sensed policing and man, this is the only time. And it's like, kind of like a joke and at the same time, but at the same time, it's kind of like, Oh, ha ha. But then that's just how they are type thing is, um, in the way that we quote unquote police divorced, divorced, middle aged men say more. Yeah. So, you know, it's the cliche, right? Like, man gets married. Has kids hits 50 realizes that he doesn't like his life, the way he, it is divorce decides to like dress, like maybe he's balding decides to put on a, to pay. And then I get the, you know, the, the poor, the, the yellow Porsche convertible, and then like start dating like a woman who's like, at least like, who's like, who might be even like half the age of his daughter. So like, you know, Speaker 2 00:33:28 <inaudible> time Speaker 1 00:33:35 That I have ever sensed policing around male behavior. Speaker 2 00:33:39 Is it policing or more like a funny stereotype? Like people just find it funny and they'd laugh about it. Speaker 1 00:33:47 Yeah. But that's what it is. Right. It's just like, Oh, ha ha. This is a cliche. Yeah. Speaker 2 00:33:52 I guess it's not really, but it's kind of policing Speaker 1 00:33:55 In a way because nobody wants to be that divorced male stereotype. Speaker 2 00:33:58 And yet they all go for it now <inaudible> has that ever stopped following suit? No, I'm just joking. Of course not all men do that. It just feels like it. Maybe we're just meeting a lot of fun. Oh gosh, no, no, no. That's just funny. Um, yeah, on that note, Speaker 1 00:34:33 In the sense, like, I do agree it's not true policing because it's not like you're seeing all these men's magazines going. Don't be the divorced dad stereotype, you know, like it's just kind of like, Oh, ha ha. That's like make a sitcom comedy around this and like, Speaker 2 00:34:46 Yeah. Yeah. It's, it's, it's the equivalent of like, Oh, look at him. He's so dumb. He more like socks with his sandals. He doesn't know any better. Oh, bless his heart situation. Wait, why did this become an, uh, gender, um, gender based topic? You know, I think on that note, I think that's it for today in terms of, Speaker 1 00:35:13 Yeah. So I think, I mean, obviously it's something that we'll probably revisit in other ways, but Speaker 2 00:35:18 We just wanted to set the tone because there's so many topics here that we've covered today that I feel like we need to unpack each one separately because, and we need to bring some of our friends in, because I feel like it would be funny to hear their perspective on each of those topics you so like. Yeah. Speaker 1 00:35:38 So we should, um, yeah. Sort of take and bring them out, bring them in. Um, but until then, like, you know, um, thank you for listening to, does this make me look old, uh, follow us on Instagram and Twitter, you know, we'll be setting up our website soon. Um, and in the meantime, stay young, stay old you until next time Speaker 0 00:36:04 <inaudible>.