Speaker 0 00:00:03 Hi, and welcome to does this make me local, a podcast about aging as gracefully as possible when you're just not ready for two 40 something year old friends will find themselves kind of straddling that really odd period of time when aging and everything that is associated with is starting to become a much bigger part of our lives. We're definitely curious, but at the same time, rather terrified about aging. I'm Schiff. I'm a health science nerd and pop culture themes, and I'm SIM and adult and weighting obsessed with finance and self-help books. We're going to be talking about the stereotypes of aging and how they affect us. And we'll also be doing some deeper dives into some interesting topics, such as what it's like to get old in the society dating when you're older and scientific advancements in anti-aging products and even evolution and scientific thinking around aging and throughout it all we chat rant laugh about or adulting mishaps of which there are so, so, so many. So join us as we navigate our second quarter-life crisis.
Speaker 1 00:01:08 Hi, and welcome to another episode of does this make me look old? We're two friends, ranch, raids, and chat about getting older and the process of aging I'm SIM. And with that let's get started. All right. Sounds good. So I'm laughing because, um, you know, at the other day with your end coming, right, like it's like the new year, you know, 2020 is finally coming to an end. Thank God. I figured that, you know what we should do, I should actually talk about what are the top five things we actually like about aging and maybe top five things we don't. All right. Sounds good. It's sort of like a countdown, you know, like, so, um, what if I can't find five things I like about aging.
Speaker 1 00:01:57 I mean, we could start with one and see where it goes and hopefully as you're talking, I'll think about like a few more. Exactly, exactly. Like let's be optimistic. Okay. All right. So should we go backwards? Like, you know, quote unquote ranked fashion, even though technically we're just making it up as we go along. Cause we're thinking about it. We're exactly. Okay. Okay. So she would go like five, four, three, two, one. Okay. So are we doing like a top five things we hate about aging too? Let's do that, but, but maybe let's start with the positives first. Let's not turn everybody off. Right. Okay. So, and, and I guess we should put the caveat out there that this is what we like about it and what we don't like about it. Right. It has nothing to do. Like you don't actually have to like it or even ours doesn't need to be the same
Speaker 0 00:03:00 To jive. Yeah. Okay. And just because we say something we hate that you might actually like, like that's totally fine. It's just something that we have to work through therapists for
Speaker 1 00:03:18 And roll dah, dah, dah, dah, number five.
Speaker 0 00:03:22 Okay. I mean, I don't even know if I'll come up with five. Okay. Okay. All right. Fine. Um, all right, so you, why don't you start? Cause you seem to, you seem to have a list <inaudible>
Speaker 1 00:03:35 The year would speak and I could just react to it. Um, okay. Well here's one. Um, I think that as I've gotten older, I have less, no, I guess I have more money. Not that I'm rich or anything, but I just feel less stressed about it. Uh, just a little bit more financially stable. So I guess I'm more responsible with it. Um, so, so I feel like that's a side effect of getting older.
Speaker 0 00:04:03 Yeah. Yeah. I agree. Actually, that was one of mine. I was just like, yeah. Cause mine was like increased earning potential, but uh,
Speaker 1 00:04:09 I mean, mind you, you also work longer, so yeah,
Speaker 0 00:04:15 I know. And it's like, it comes with more responsibility, so that's like both a bad, good thing. And about,
Speaker 1 00:04:20 Of course for those people who figure it out when they're in their twenties, how to be financially responsible.
Speaker 0 00:04:27 Oh my God. Like, I'm still like, well, okay. I, it's not like I don't have a balanced budget, but I feel like the things that I spend way more than I should like yeah. Like all of those, um, you know, all of those, uh, like not financial podcasts, but like, you know, articles about like financial goals and savings. And I'm just like, yeah, but I really like my Starbucks hot chocolate, so I can't get that off. <inaudible> cut it. This is not going to happen. Yeah. I think I just, I'm just a little too hedonistic for those finance articles, to be honest. Yeah. But anyway,
Speaker 1 00:05:11 But do you think that as you've gotten older, your relationship with money has changed
Speaker 0 00:05:16 <inaudible> yeah. Okay. So I guess for you and me, even though we were both talking about the increased financial security, it's like, it's different for you and me still because like you were still being sensible with your money. I, on the other hand, I'm just happy that <inaudible>,
Speaker 1 00:05:42 I mean, I don't know if I'm being sensible, but I'm definitely trying. So I read those same articles. Um, you know, and I read about these 25 year olds and 28 year olds who are like, you know, and I put 10% in savings and 10% in and 20% in whatever. And I'm saving up for a down payment and I'm like, not a single one of those thoughts crossed my mind. No, it didn't. I was like, I need to travel. So I traveled backpacked through Europe for months. Uh, you know, like things to Asia did my, you know, like took internship positions, which paid nothing, um, simply because I wanted to be in the field, um, and, and travel. Right. And then, so I feel like I did not think of any of those things, which, you know, resulted in maybe not the best financial decisions. Um, and so then I spent a lot of time trying to get out of those financial decisions. Um, and so it's only recently that I'm like, Oh, I like that. I have, you know, like you said, um, I'm earning more, but at the same time, I'm being a little bit more.
Speaker 0 00:06:53 Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I think that's like one of the things that it's like, yeah. Maybe that should be one of my new year's resolutions, just as like, be more financially responsible. I guess one of the things that I was thinking about was, um, the fact that as I'm getting older, I feel like I have the ability to speak my mind more like I'm not as nervous about yeah. About like making my opinions known. And especially if they're like contrary to something that other people are saying. Like, I remember when I was younger, I would just be like, Oh, I don't know if I totally agree with that, but you just didn't feel like you had the leverage to actually say anything, but now
Speaker 1 00:07:36 Do you mean in a professional setting or with friends?
Speaker 0 00:07:39 Um, mainly in professional settings. I feel that's good. Yeah. I don't know. I don't know. Do I speak my mind with friends? I think it depends on who I'm talking to
Speaker 1 00:07:49 <inaudible> before I actually speak my mind.
Speaker 0 00:08:00 Yeah. Although I don't know. It's not like my friends do egregious things that I have to like speak my mind about. So yeah. So mainly in professional settings, I think that's good. Yeah.
Speaker 1 00:08:11 I would agree with that. I mean, I don't have, I mean, now that you're saying it, I'm like, Hmm, that's actually not about one. Um, I am, I do speak up a lot more and I think definitely more than I did when I first started my career. Although the way I speak up, maybe still needs work. Oh, I know. Cause I still have that passive language, I guess, or almost like a differential tone. Does that make sense? Do you know what I mean? Like when I'm cajoling someone, I'm hoping that they'll agree with me please. And thank you. Um, you know, just positioning it more, less assertive. Um, I'm speaking up, but it's still less. Yeah.
Speaker 0 00:08:52 Yeah. I find that I only do that when I'm asking for something from like somebody higher up. But if I'm why I think it's just because of the job I do. Like if I'm disagreeing with somebody, I it's like no holds barred. It's like, no, I think you're wrong about this. This is what I think. So. Yeah. Like I think it, yeah, but then, you know, all of this is just so context dependent. Like don't you find? Like, it's just, I dunno, like I find that it's all context dependent because like, I don't know if I was talking to like, yeah. I mean, if I was talking to somebody who I didn't know very well, I think I might take a different tone than if it was like, you know, colleagues that you've just been working with for a long time. So yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 1 00:09:39 Yeah. I mean, I guess we don't with comfort. I mean, sorry with familiarity, comfort comes comfort. Right. So that's good. But, but in a less comfortable situation, would you be willing to speak up more than you would in your,
Speaker 0 00:09:54 I think it depends what the, it depends what the consequences of not speaking up are like, if it's just something like that's fairly irrelevant then, like I think that I probably like, if it doesn't really matter whether or not I chime in with like my 2 cents, then I, I tend not to, I, I, I will always speak up if there's something that I think that the consequences would be like fairly significant if I didn't say anything. So, yeah. Okay. So then what's your, um, for number four? Is that, yeah, I guess it would be number four.
Speaker 1 00:10:32 Are we combining R or <inaudible>? Okay. So, so if that was five and four, so this would be number three. Um, so number three. Okay. Um, this is tough. Um, Oh, okay. Okay. This is going to sound kind of hokey. Um, but I kind of think that as I've gotten older, I like myself more. Oh, that's actually nice. <inaudible> looking back. I feel like I am kinder to myself. I accept my flaws. Like more generously, I think. So I think that, you know, in my twenties I'm like, you know, I'm very competitive by nature. Right. So I feel like when I was younger, there was a lot of self pressure on getting things. Right. And getting things done and meeting thresholds your
Speaker 0 00:11:42 Threshold or other people's thresholds. Probably
Speaker 1 00:11:44 Mine, I think at this stage, I'm too old to remember, but even if there were other people's, the point is like, you know, like I think in my head I had certain milestones I wanted to achieve and et cetera, you know, but I think that if I didn't, um, manage to do it or do it the way I had envisioned it, I was probably harder on myself that, Oh, you know, I'm not hardworking enough or I'm not X or I'm not Y whatever, insert, adjective to sort of achieve what I wanted to achieve. And so I think that as a result, it was like a double shot of, you know, meanness, because on one hand I probably say I didn't achieve something. And on the second hand, I'm also beating myself over it because I'm blaming myself. Whereas now I'd probably be a lot more kinder saying to myself that here's where I did well, here's what I didn't do well, and here's what I can do better next time. And so there's an element of
Speaker 2 00:12:54 Compassion if you will. And then I think I extend that to
Speaker 1 00:12:56 Others too. Like I think I'm just nice. Yeah.
Speaker 2 00:13:01 Maybe it's not a question Mark, but I realize it sounded like a question Mark looking for validation still,
Speaker 1 00:13:11 But, but yeah, I think I would say that I'm probably nicer and kinder as I've gotten.
Speaker 0 00:13:17 Yeah. Do you think that's just because like, as you've kind of lived more years of life, you kind of understand circumstances that people could be under or around, like, do you think it's
Speaker 1 00:13:27 Because I don't care as much?
Speaker 2 00:13:29 Oh, no. I'm just joking. Just joking. I do think this expanded understanding of human emotions. Yes, absolutely.
Speaker 0 00:13:58 That's true. That is true. Because like, I think like when you're younger, you don't really understand life circumstances that could impact on other people's performances. And so I, and like when you, when you extend that compassion for yourself, like, I think that you can see it for other people. I dunno. It's like, it's interesting you say that because it just reminds me, did you watch the fresh Prince of Bel air, um, reunion?
Speaker 1 00:14:23 I did not. I wanted to, but I haven't yet. How was it? It was, yeah, it was
Speaker 0 00:14:29 Kind of flitted in and out. Cause like my partner was watching it like, so he was like watching it, but then I was kind of flitting in and out, like as I was doing things. And so, but I did watch this part where like will Smith talked to the old end Viv. And so she was talking, you know, so I think like they were trying to come to an understanding about what happened, what didn't happen. I've always wondered. So okay. This point should be taken. I didn't watch it religiously. So I managed to glean in my, like,
Speaker 2 00:15:03 What did you refer? Basically?
Speaker 0 00:15:06 What I inferred was that she, she was actually going through a difficult time. Like at that time, you know, it's interesting that you say that about like how people like mature over time, because so apparently she was pregnant at the time she was in an abusive relationship. She was having a really rough time of it. And then like it was having an impact on her work. And then the producers were like, well, do you want to come back for the next season? And I think she was asking for them to cut her a little bit of Slack given what she was going through. And then they wouldn't. They were like, yeah, well, sorry, we're just going to go in another direction. And then like, I wonder how much pull will Smith had on that? Because she did say something about like how he was young and he didn't really understand what she was going through.
Speaker 0 00:15:51 And I have a feeling that if that happened now that he would've had, he would have gained that kind of understanding and maybe pulled for a little bit more, like maybe talked to like, he used his clout to kind of like talk to the producers and be like, Hey, you know, she's having a rough time of it. Like maybe, you know, you should cut her a little bit of Slack. I mean, I don't know how much he knew about what she was going through, but I think that, I do think that she didn't feel supported by the network him or like the rest of the cast. Yeah.
Speaker 1 00:16:23 That's good. Actually. I feel like I should watch it. I did see the trailer for it. And I remember thinking, Holy crap will Smith hasn't aged today.
Speaker 0 00:16:32 I know they all look very today. Yeah. All of them. Yeah. All of them look very close to what they did when they were. The only thing is that I think that the new app, it looks a bit older, but like, yeah. Even at the look much like she did like 20 years ago. It's crazy.
Speaker 2 00:16:47 That's awesome. I'm glad to hear it. Yeah. Okay.
Speaker 1 00:16:51 Yeah. Yeah. All right. So that brings us to number two to three. We just finished three
Speaker 2 00:17:01 Doesn't matter. Oh, we'll just go <inaudible>. Oh, are we okay? Okay. Because maybe it was just make, might've gotten it wrong, but that's irrelevant. So number two. Okay.
Speaker 0 00:17:16 Um, yeah, because I think one of mine was like similar to yours. We just kind of interpreted it in different ways. Okay. So then the number two. Um, Oh, so yeah. So one thing that I thought was good about aging is just having better insight into yourself. Like just being more introspective and just like understanding yourself a little bit better. I think that, um, yeah, like understanding your motivations or like just catching yourself when you're falling into bad patterns. Like, I think that, that, like, I don't know. I find just like
Speaker 2 00:17:51 Being better about that now. Yeah. So I agree with it,
Speaker 1 00:18:01 Except as I'm thinking and applying it to my life, I realized that when it comes to like weight loss and stuff, I haven't been able to do that applying, what was it? You called it like,
Speaker 2 00:18:17 Okay. Just like just having more insight into
Speaker 1 00:18:20 Insight and then like the bad patterns and, and sort of applying those insights to make better judgements. Um, so in the grand scheme,
Speaker 2 00:18:30 I think I see it. So maybe that's not quite one of mine. I still have some ways to go <inaudible>
Speaker 1 00:18:44 So yeah. So maybe that's not one of mine.
Speaker 2 00:18:50 Okay. Keep in mind though that like weight loss is not one of my current goals. So maybe that's why I'm like, Oh, I think I feel good about this fact that you said that makes
Speaker 1 00:19:04 Me want to like smack you upside
Speaker 2 00:19:07 The head. I'm just like, fuck it. I'm just going to gain weight. <inaudible>
Speaker 1 00:19:23 I love what you said. Fuck it. Because that would be probably my number one. It's that? Fuck it. Attitude. Like don't sweat the small stuff. It's not the same. So I think like that's what I, I think I like the most, I feel like I am much more able to say, fuck it. Yeah. At a quicker pace.
Speaker 2 00:19:46 That's so funny because that's actually one of my top things. Is that just knowing what does, and doesn't matter to you now compared to when you were younger? I find that my tolerance for BS was just so much, much higher when I was in my twenties. And like, now I'm just, no, I have no time for this screw this.
Speaker 1 00:20:04 Yep. Your tolerance for BS from other people's tolerance for almost abuse in some situations, um, you know, for unfairness in life and, and uh, you know, a lot of those kinds of things. Um, yeah. You're right. Yeah. So that would probably be number one. Yeah.
Speaker 2 00:20:22 Oh, we agreed for the disagreement except for the weight loss thing, because clearly like you still have more hope than I do. I'm just like, no, it's not happening. <inaudible>
Speaker 1 00:20:38 That? I just literally bought four mini agendas or those journals or diaries. Yeah. So one is female with goals and vision. The other one is like a daily whatever, like affirmations there's no daily agenda, like a daily partner, then there's a wellness theme. Okay. Um, did I eat right? Did you like meal polar app? Did I drink enough water? Um, so I'm going to give it a try again. Oh, what was the fourth Oh, money.
Speaker 2 00:21:18 See who the finance minded person, this group, my spending is like,
Speaker 1 00:21:34 Yeah. Some of us have to worry about these things. So some of us do. Um, but yeah, no, I'm, I'm joking, but I think, but yeah, no, it's, it's, it's funny because, so I, I really, I literally bought those and I feel like this year, I feel I will have the maturity to see the genders or the planners to completion.
Speaker 2 00:21:58 That's good. Right. Yeah.
Speaker 1 00:22:00 We'll see. We'll check in, in, in March.
Speaker 2 00:22:02 Okay. First quarter has gone and I feel
Speaker 1 00:22:06 Like the first quarter success will determine the rest of
Speaker 2 00:22:08 It. I have a question for you that this is coming from somebody who was like, I think the last time I bought an agenda was like literally in my teams anyway.
Speaker 1 00:22:19 And by the way, it is paper agendas,
Speaker 2 00:22:23 Planners, or books. And this is how you show your age.
Speaker 1 00:22:30 Oh. By refusing to transition to the digital planner era.
Speaker 2 00:22:36 Okay. My question to you is, so you bought, you bought these or you've always bought these, right. So then, like you're saying he's never like actually written in them. Oh, okay.
Speaker 1 00:22:47 Um, my, so my, my daily planners have gotten probably the most years. So those I do use, um, they, they become a catchall place. Right. So notes, phone numbers, uh, quick dates, you know, things I need to remember, um, plans for the week, whatever. So those I do use. Yeah. But, um, I don't know if you remember, I tried the bullet journal,
Speaker 2 00:23:12 Vaguely remember, Oh gosh, I
Speaker 1 00:23:14 Spent probably an entire month
Speaker 2 00:23:16 <inaudible>
Speaker 1 00:23:21 I had all these habit trackers. I had like a goals and things like that. So it depends. Um, you know, so some of them get a better used and others, my planners do my agenda. Um, I'm, I'm very agenda based. So, um, I love, you know, and crossing, crossing things off and, um, they're just not very pretty. So it starts off very neat and tidy and beautifully designed, um, you know, the setup and I use very neat handwriting and the color code
Speaker 2 00:23:52 <inaudible>.
Speaker 1 00:23:56 Um, but that's just it over time, I feel like they've become more scribbles. It's almost like people will think that I'm a doctor writing a prescription
Speaker 2 00:24:06 Where the only person who can
Speaker 1 00:24:08 I read it is not even the doctor themselves, the pharmacist, the pharmacist
Speaker 0 00:24:18 Getting the wrong prescription. I'm sure I remember what I was writing on my notepads. I would always try to be like very legible, but that's, that's gone by the
Speaker 2 00:24:27 Wayside.
Speaker 1 00:24:29 That's one of my goals for this year is to, um, work at my
Speaker 2 00:24:32 Writing this year because I used to have good penmanship, but
Speaker 1 00:24:36 Time it's deteriorated to the point of ugliness anymore.
Speaker 2 00:24:40 I know, but you know what? So this
Speaker 1 00:24:42 Year I did something different and maybe there's a sign of me getting old. So every year I want to do Christmas cards and I thank you.
Speaker 2 00:24:53 I know I was really interested. Um, so every year
Speaker 1 00:24:57 I actually do in, but what happens is because I'm at work for the most part, I ended up writing them in order of who I'm giving it out to. So what ends up being is that all my coworkers probably get them every year because I seen them. Yeah.
Speaker 2 00:25:14 I did
Speaker 0 00:25:15 Get the cards out, like before you leave for like the holidays and stuff. So, you know,
Speaker 1 00:25:20 Did you, um, get your act in gear? Um, and then by the time I send it to the people I'm really close with, um, it's in order of like, when do I have to mail it out? Or when am I going to see them?
Speaker 2 00:25:33 You guys always get shafted because with you guys, it's always like, towards the end that we're like, Oh, let's get together from holidays and do dinner or whatever. So that's when everyone else has, I've met up with everybody else, you know, by the time it comes to you, it's like, ah, you know what? They know I love them. Or, or what happens even more often is I'll write the cards. But by the time I see you guys, I don't know where the cards are. And then I find something.
Speaker 0 00:26:03 Yeah, that's happened to me so many times. Yeah.
Speaker 1 00:26:06 This year I did it, the opposite order. I started with the people that I like I'm closest to. So I wrote, you know, um, those ones first, then I wrote to the people I'm close to, but who don't live near me. So I couldn't do the drop offs and things like that. And then I wrote people that I'm kind of close to. Um, and then, you know, it's nice to keep in touch, but yeah,
Speaker 0 00:26:30 You're so organized. I lie always like a mad dash. It's like the end of the year where I'm like, Oh my God, I've got to like, get it all together. And I'm like for people, yeah, look at you. I need to learn from you little stick with that story. Oh my God.
Speaker 1 00:26:48 Yeah. That was, that was, that was it like this year it's so it's like, you know, my goal. So then as I was writing them out, it's like looking at my handwriting is ugly.
Speaker 0 00:26:56 Your penmanship was really quite good.
Speaker 1 00:26:58 Yeah. Quite good.
Speaker 0 00:27:02 I'm sorry. I used the wrong adjective. Excellent. My friend. It was excellent.
Speaker 1 00:27:12 We do not like it. So ergo, that has to be one of my goals for next year is to work on my penmanship. You can do that in your agenda. Yes. Correct. Oh, that's cool.
Speaker 0 00:27:22 Like multiple goals and like one fell swoop, but it's already messed up.
Speaker 1 00:27:27 I started writing, like putting the dates in and already it looks awful. And I was like,
Speaker 0 00:27:31 Oh, no, see, but then this is where you need to put in one of your aging fuckity fuck it's. And the compassion <inaudible> it's better than in your twenties though. That's all it's about. It's like, it's better than it's always improving. It's funny. Cause I was talking about this with a friend of mine is just how yeah. Like how that fucking attitude kind of Rose over time. Like, especially with relationships. Cause we were talking, we were talking about relationships and like yeah. In my twenties I would just, I dunno, I would just put up with all sorts of bad behavior just because you're just kind of, no, it's more like, you feel like you have the time or you like the drama of it or something. And then like, as you get older, you just, I just don't have the time for it anymore. It's just like, this is bad behavior. I want to cut it out of my life. No, like kick you to the curb.
Speaker 1 00:28:29 Well, consistent thing. Right? Like I feel like most people that we know kind of walk away from that drama as they get older.
Speaker 0 00:28:37 Oh yeah. Yeah. For sure. Yeah. It's interesting though, because I'm I wonder
Speaker 1 00:28:41 If my mom has gotten that.
Speaker 0 00:28:45 Oh no. I think it's, I think it just comes back and now it's just Brown mothers. It's Brown mothers. They just like the drama. There's all drama everyday 24 seven <inaudible> Oh my goodness. Yeah. Histrionics. Oh my goodness. But yeah. Well, because she was talking about like, I don't know. Some people, I don't think get rid of it. Cause like she was talking about somebody she knew and she was saying that in their life, even though they're in their forties, it's still all drama all the time. You know? So I don't know. Maybe some people, maybe some people just have different fucking thresholds
Speaker 1 00:29:28 Maybe. Yeah. This is something I feel like we should invite. I think we talked about this, but we should invite our friend Taz. Um, and, and get her because I feel like her sense of fucking ness is completely different, but she has a large attitude towards Taz
Speaker 0 00:29:42 Had a very low, low fucking threshold in her twenties.
Speaker 2 00:29:47 She was like,
Speaker 0 00:29:47 She was like, yeah, this isn't worth the time it's over.
Speaker 2 00:29:51 I love that. I know. I know.
Speaker 0 00:29:53 No. And I was just like, Oh, she isn't giving people chances. And then at the end of the day she was right. She was always right. Yeah.
Speaker 2 00:30:05 We have to edit this out. Cause I don't want to give her a bit.
Speaker 0 00:30:13 Okay. So, okay. So let's do the, let's do like an amalgamation of our like top five, 10, whatever, worst things about aging, then
Speaker 2 00:30:23 The physical stuff. Yeah. So my body aches, my gray hairs feet. Um, but they are all different issues that dry your skin? Um, no, actually I noticed that too. Like my skin is getting dry and I'm like, sorry, I need the plump. Yeah.
Speaker 0 00:30:50 I never used to put moisturizer on my face when I was younger. Never because I always had an oily face. Like I was just like, Oh I have this oily face. I want to get rid of all the oil. And like now I'm like, where's the oil.
Speaker 2 00:31:04 My hair is more brittle.
Speaker 0 00:31:05 Yeah. Oh, is this
Speaker 2 00:31:07 Here to how it was like, you remember like
Speaker 0 00:31:10 My hair used to have me so soft and silky, but like the clips would follow
Speaker 2 00:31:15 And now just there's too much texture in there too much texture. That's what it is. I was wondering about that in the bathroom mirror going, Oh my God.
Speaker 0 00:31:32 But yeah. Yeah. So does that all count as one thing?
Speaker 2 00:31:37 Because I listed like a thousand. Okay. Maybe that'll be, that'll be your five look. I honestly can't think of anything else more.
Speaker 0 00:31:50 Yeah, no, it's true. The physical changes are something I know. I'm just worried about heading to menopause. Like it hasn't happened yet and I'm just like, Oh my God, when that happens, I don't know. I just don't know. I'm very, I would like to hear from our listeners out there, please tell me it is not all that bad writing please.
Speaker 2 00:32:10 I need the reassurance. Yeah. Well, I mean, how bad is it? I don't know.
Speaker 0 00:32:16 The hot flashes. The changes in your like skin, your sleep, your cognition. Like I'm just really nervous. I'm really nervous about all of it. Changing your sleep. But I already have for sleeping. It gets worse. How much worse? Pretty bad. I don't know. I like just, yeah. Like random women that I've talked to about like when they hit menopause, like they wake up with flashes. They can't sleep. They like, they can't get back. So they wake up in the middle of the night. They can't get back to sleep. They're constantly like tired. It's yeah, it's a mess. It sounds like a mess. And you know what? My mother won't tell me anything about it. She won't tell me anything about what she went through. It's just like, yeah.
Speaker 1 00:32:58 It is a fact black box. Actually. Not a lot of people talk about this.
Speaker 0 00:33:03 Oh yeah, we should. I think we should, because I feel that I need to be better prepared. No dude,
Speaker 2 00:33:08 <inaudible> all these things and we know that I'm a hypochondriac
Speaker 1 00:33:15 And it's actually gotten worse with age.
Speaker 0 00:33:17 Oh, the hybrid drive. There's your number two.
Speaker 2 00:33:20 Yeah. I feel
Speaker 1 00:33:23 Like I visited women
Speaker 2 00:33:27 Or anyone's peace of mind.
Speaker 0 00:33:28 Yeah. No, no for sure. Yeah. Even in like the medical field, they don't, they kind of gloss over it and we get kind of this like overview of it, but nobody really goes into the nitty gritty and it's just kind of like, Oh, you know, and then there's well, and the thing is that hormone replacement therapy used to be the saving grace for it. But then now there's issues around that because of breast cancer. But now it's back in, in style. Like it's all, it just all sounds
Speaker 2 00:33:58 There. Isn't more research on this. It's very, very upsetting.
Speaker 1 00:34:02 No, actually I'm making a note of this right now. Hold on.
Speaker 2 00:34:07 I have to write this down because I feel
Speaker 1 00:34:10 Like we need to do an episode where we sort of, I don't know, find an expert in and maybe your mother What to expect and how can we better prepare? Cause I don't think I'm at all prepared for that.
Speaker 0 00:34:25 Yeah. Yeah. I know. Yeah. I mean it would be, yeah, it would be nice. I mean, like I was planning on doing a deep dive into it and I think we definitely should have like an expert talk about it, but yeah, I'm not looking forward to that, but actually I should have put that down. The worst things about aging menopause, menopause is coming up.
Speaker 1 00:34:43 Yeah. So that's also another physical one then, or is there a, what an emotional, psychological impact too.
Speaker 0 00:34:52 Yeah. Well, I mean, I think so. I think all of it leads to an emotional, psychological breakdown.
Speaker 2 00:35:00 <inaudible> that involves a lot of junk food and Netflix originals.
Speaker 0 00:35:10 I know. I'm like, yeah. Anyway. Yes. I would definitely like to hear back from listeners. Cause I need to know that it isn't as bad as I'm like making it out to be in my head. But yeah,
Speaker 1 00:35:20 That's a good thing though, is I don't know. I can't think of other bad, bad things yet. You know? I mean I'm scared of, is it called chromophobia do you think fear of time? Fear of age. Oh yeah. What do you call someone? Who's afraid to get older, but I don't actually know why. Yeah.
Speaker 0 00:35:38 Um, well, I mean, I know that I, yeah, well, I mean, I know I'm afraid of it because like I work at the hospital and so like, you know, you walk through the hallways and like you see these people who are decades older than you. And obviously they're not they're there because they need like some illness taken care of, but then you kind of, it's kind of, you're seeing the future unfold in front of you. Like I just look at them and I'm like, that could be me in 20 years. That could be me in 30 years. You know? I think that's what I worry about aging. Cause I'm just like, I don't know, am I gonna wind up with diabetes? Am I going to wind up with heart disease? Like, you know, there's only so much you can do, like there's all these preventative measures that you can take, but at some point it's just like, why am I not doing it? Brings me back to the whole way.
Speaker 0 00:36:27 Yeah. So that was one of my lists that was on my list was like one of the, was the fact that like, you know, just seeing what's ahead of you in terms of like, you know, diseases and things that can come up. So yeah. So yeah, it didn't need to be a Debbie downer. Maybe we should have started with the bad things instead ended off, I think this is good. This is good. You know, it's like, we don't actually have a lot. So I mean, at the end of the day, these are things that we're going to talk about in the future. Like this is true. So it's, it's good to sort of lay the ground works. Yeah. So that was it. All of yours are physical. I have like three or four more <inaudible> I want to hear this. So wait, so that would make it one, five.
Speaker 0 00:37:11 Yeah. Yours was physical so five and then I had, well, I guess technically mine was physical too, but it was more like just seeing what's ahead of you in the future. It does not come to number three, I guess so or two anyway, three, three. Okay. So, okay. So then what else I was thinking was, um, are we doing that? Are we, are we ranking these? Sure. Why not? Okay. But okay. Hang on. I wrote a list. I'm going to, I'm going to look to it and see like what, what I, how I'm going to rank this. Okay. So, okay. So my next one is the feeling that history is repeating itself. Like you got to your mother <inaudible> I have to ask my brother, I'll just see, am I being more like mom? Like, you know, you can see the cycles of things happening in history and then like just seeing them cycle through. And you're just like, I've lived through this before. Why aren't we learning from what I've already lived through? Why is this, what is this? What is going on? I find this. You mean the world's political system? Yes, absolutely. I totally agree. It's just, I don't know, living through, you know, a couple of big events of life, the Gulf war, for example. And um, you know, like, I don't
Speaker 1 00:38:36 Know, I have this insane fear of anything where people are, you know, conflict and yet every day you turn the news on. It's like everyone seems to be here.
Speaker 0 00:38:48 Yeah. Yeah, exactly. And like, it's just, I don't know. It's just frustrating. I just, you know what I feel? And this will be interesting. So any listeners who are like obviously much older than us, please let me, you feel this way because could you imagine, like if you were 80 and you've lived through multiple cycles of this and you're just like, what the hell? How come people haven't learned? I don't know what, they're not, it makes you more of an activist or if it makes you just more apathetic. Cause you're just like, Oh, you can't save people from each other. You know? Like, I don't know.
Speaker 1 00:39:18 That's a good one. Actually. I don't know. I feel like maybe it makes you more empathetic. Yeah. Because it's almost like it's inevitable. What is it? Like they say like it's every 50 years, but things like
Speaker 0 00:39:31 Sometimes it's every 20. Yeah. 20 years people think kids like that and fashion for sure. It's every 20 years. For sure. For sure. And yeah, I wonder like big events, but I feel like history is repeating itself and I'm only like in my forties, which is like ridiculous. True. Anyway. Yeah. Like you would think that if history repeated itself, you'd like it to be like over centuries decades, but yeah. So then that was like my number three. Okay. Number two. Okay. Number two is like, kind of, so, okay. So even though in some ways I'm happy about being able to speak my mind and just like having a little bit more competence in myself. The other thing is it's just like feeling stuck or in limbo because like, even though I'm older, I don't feel like I'm where I'm supposed to be because I of know, I guess I know
Speaker 1 00:40:27 Very well, but I feel like I've been feeling that since I was in my twenties. That's true. So is that a function of age? Is that
Speaker 0 00:40:37 The things we have to be doing or is it, or is it just a function of society? Yeah, I know. I know what you mean because it's just kind of like, cause you know, you kind of just take stock of your life and your life and you're supposed to be right now. Could it be better? Could you be like improving? You're supposed to be saying, fuck it. I know, right. This is what I, this is the thing. This is the dichotomy of being human on one hand and then just be like, Hey, fuck it to other people.
Speaker 1 00:41:08 Don't fuck it to my gray hairs and wrinkles.
Speaker 0 00:41:13 Yeah. So yeah. So that's the other thing is just like I kind of, so the being stuck in the middle kind of goes together with like another feeling of mine, which is like feeling the time is running out and that you don't have enough time to like kind of get all the things done that you might want to get done. So,
Speaker 1 00:41:29 You know, that's a good one, actually. That is actually a good, because I think you're right. Like eventually, I mean, but I guess that's what you're right. Like makes us human, is that, you know, do we, by the time, you know, to a course of our life, do we sort of feel like we've given it our best shot? You know? So I guess the more you do the less,
Speaker 0 00:41:53 Unless you feel like that, but then like, I don't know. I feel like sometimes the more you do, the more you feel like that, because you're just like, I don't know, like you're just on this at concert robberies.
Speaker 1 00:42:03 I noticed that too. I don't know. I have to unpack that one. That that's a separate one. Yeah. Okay. All right. And then final, final number one, unless you have more, do you have more?
Speaker 0 00:42:14 No, no, no, no. That was it. It was like feeling that time was running out.
Speaker 1 00:42:18 Okay. So your number two was actually number one.
Speaker 0 00:42:22 Well, so number two was kind of like just the feeling of being stuck and the number four was not before like the, yeah, the number one, one was just like the time's running out. Yeah.
Speaker 2 00:42:33 Wow.
Speaker 0 00:42:40 It's sad that I have more worries about aging other than good things. But anyway,
Speaker 1 00:42:45 No, all that means is that we're going to be better prepared. You're going to be better prepared by virtue of you be prepared. I'll just, you know, use those, uh, whatever you want.
Speaker 2 00:42:56 Yes, pretty much. I was like, I'm like, I don't have to put in the work. Tell me what you did. I'll just follow up.
Speaker 0 00:43:05 I know it was just thinking about it. It's also like this whole year thing too. Right. Because I keep thinking about your life and what you've done in the past, you kind of mull over like things that you could have done and could have done better. And it's just like, yeah. And it's like that whole, like that Christmas-y kind of screw gee, it's a wonderful life thing where you're just like, am I telling everybody that I love that I love them. Like they need to know
Speaker 1 00:43:28 This year of all year. Like I feel like this year actually made it clearer. Yeah. What really matters to us. So yeah,
Speaker 0 00:43:36 For sure. Which is, I think actually I think that's the good thing about aging is that like, you just have a clear understanding of what really matters.
Speaker 1 00:43:43 I thought of one thing that I hate about aging. It's not me. It's the fear that, um, like my parents and my uncles and like my aunts and my cousins, like older people are going to start passing away. Oh my God, my dad, every time he wants to talk about the will or like preparing for, you know, whatever, it stresses me out so much. I hate yet. I'm like I run away at annoys him. Right.
Speaker 2 00:44:12 And I'm like, I don't want to talk about this. Like you're going to live forever.
Speaker 1 00:44:16 And my dad's like, uh, okay,
Speaker 2 00:44:18 Idiot not going to happen. So I would like you to know what I need.
Speaker 1 00:44:28 Yeah. But I actually stress about that a lot. Yeah. Me
Speaker 0 00:44:32 Too know, I have a feeling that a lot of people in their forties do stress about that because if they're lucky enough to still have their parents with them, like their parents are at that age, you know, where they're, you know, getting even older and it's yeah. It's very stressful. Like you can see you can, I hope you can feel the tense tension in my voice because I get nervous about that all the time. All the time. That is probably actually that is done would be my number one. Fear is losing, losing family members and family members. For sure. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I agree. Yeah. Okay. Okay. No, no, <inaudible> everybody. Everyone's going to die and welcome to the morbid minds because this is how most of our conversations go.
Speaker 0 00:45:28 At least we're laughing about it. No, I think this was good. Actually. It was good. Like I don't actually have to write in my journal this time. Like I'll sort of just have to repeat your podcast test and sort of say, just want to play it. Here's what's bothering me. And here's what I'm thankful for. I guess what, I'm not so thankful for it, you know? Exactly. You know, what you should write in your journal today. You should be like December 24th, 2020. See podcasts. Yeah. Yeah. Actually I will. I'm a good idea. Anyway, on that note, um, I think we should probably sign off for today for sure. And uh, you know, we look forward to reconnecting next week for sure. And happy holidays, everyone happy holidays, wishing everyone a very happy new year. And um, yeah, just, uh, one thing I did want to say it was just like, um, people can email us at, cause we have a Gmail account set up.
Speaker 0 00:46:29 So, you know, I said, um, does this make me look old? And she mailed.com or DT
[email protected]. I hope I got that right anyway. Um, yeah. And just like, yeah, just write us about whatever. Um, you're thinking about aging, uh, topics that you might want us to cover, um, whether or not you think Diane Keaton should have been with Keanu at the end of something's got to give the answer is yes. We will not take no for an answer. And um, uh, yeah, just like, you know, random rants and raves that you have and uh, yeah. And I guess we will see you in new year, see you in the mirror.
Speaker 3 00:47:06 Yep.
