Episode 29: Listen to your parents, folks!

Speaker 0 00:00:03 Hi, and welcome to does this make me look old, a podcast about aging as gracefully as possible when you're just not ready for two 40 something year old friends will find themselves kind of straddling that really odd period of time when aging and everything that it's associated with is starting to become a much bigger part of our lives. We're definitely curious, but at the same time, rather terrified about aging. I'm Schiff. I'm a health science nerd and pop culture themes, and I'm SIM and adult and waiting obsessed with finance and self-help books. We're going to be talking about the stereotypes of aging and how they affect us. And we'll also be doing some deeper dives into some interesting topics, such as what it's like to get old in the society dating when you're older and scientific advancements in anti-aging products and even evolution in scientific thinking around aging and throughout it all, we chat rant, laugh about our adulting mishaps of which there are so, so, so many. So join us as we navigate our second quarter life crisis. Speaker 1 00:01:08 Hi, and welcome back to this week's episode of does this make me look old and welcome back shift? Speaker 0 00:01:15 Yeah. Hi. Hi. Thanks for having me back. <inaudible> Speaker 1 00:01:23 I feel like, you know, you were gone, um, so Schiff was away on vacation and the, you know, it did feel like, you know, like you were gone and I'm kind of like, oh no, Speaker 0 00:01:36 No. Yeah. I like go visit. I went to go visit my family. So they live in, they live in Manitoba. So then I, um, took applied and that, and hung out with them for a week, which was nice. Uh, I know it's crazy. I, yeah, we haven't. I mean, it's just crazy to, um, the first time you saw your parents Speaker 1 00:01:59 Since the pandemic. Yeah. I think Speaker 0 00:02:01 The last time I saw my parents was in January just before the pandemic started. So like January 20, 20, I guess. And like, yeah. So it's been like a year and a half, which is kind of like, Speaker 1 00:02:10 Gosh, how was that? It was nice. Yeah. Speaker 0 00:02:18 Well, I mean like, so yeah, so my parents, so my family was in Winnipeg and like, oh my God, man, climate change is just like such a mess. So the grass was brown. Like, so what impact is your school undergoing? Well, Matt, I told actually it's like undergoing this massive drought. And so, um, they haven't had rain in like weeks and weeks. And so, um, yeah, it was kind of crazy. And then like, and then it was like, this is so funny because my partner, I think the last time he went to Winnipeg in the summer, there were also forest fires in BC. So like for part of the week we were like, there was smoke. So like there was smoke like during the day. And like the sun took on this like weird apocalyptic. It was like the glowing red. And there was like smoke in the background. Speaker 0 00:03:06 It's kind of nuts. And so, um, I think the last time he was there that happened. And then it happened again this year. So every time he goes to Winnipeg, basically, there's like some sort of weird apocalyptic forest fire situation happening in BC. So yeah. So that wasn't, that wasn't too fun. Yeah. And like, I think that they need rain. That's all I can say. It's really bad. Yeah. And then flying during the pandemic was something else that was, uh, I haven't, yeah. Cause I haven't flown in a year and a half. And so that, that was kind of nerve wracking. I Speaker 1 00:03:40 Had like a, was it like the wearing of the mask that was like Speaker 0 00:03:44 Scary, uncomfortable? Like what was it? Yeah, so, I mean, I find the mask situation too bad, but my partner did like, so he, he like, so we have like a bit of turbulence coming down into Winnipeg and then he had his mask on and um, apparently like, apparently turbulence never bothers him, but like, I think with the mask being on like it's, I think somehow maybe like the lack of air, like somehow like made the situation worse. So he was actually having issues with it. I mean, I didn't really find the mass situation, all that diff like all that bad. I mean, I always have issues with turbulence. I feel like I would Speaker 1 00:04:26 Be stressed in a plane where I'd be like, oh no, I'm just inhaling all the germs. Speaker 0 00:04:31 Yeah. That's exactly what it was like. And really, yeah, because when I got on the plane I was like, oh, they're going to try to keep people socially distance. They'll probably only have like a couple of people per row and whatnot, you know? Yeah. It was a totally packed flight. Neatly packed. Yeah. It was full aren't you supposed to actually not have full plates? That's what I thought, but apparently not. So yeah, it was full on the way there and full on the way back and I was totally freaking out. Cause I was just like, I am inhaling all sorts of like different jobs from people, including the possible Delta variance. So good times it was no social distancing. Speaker 1 00:05:12 So they didn't like, like, you know, like for the three Cedars didn't have like a middle seat Speaker 0 00:05:16 Empty or something like that. No. And initially they had us booked to sit in the three Cedars, but then like when we checked in, we switched it, switched out to like a two seaters. So luckily we had like, it was just the two of us in that one section. But like, um, we would've, if we hadn't, we hadn't checked in early, we would be sitting with total stranger. I know it was, it was really unpleasant and to fly Speaker 1 00:05:43 Like, or I just want to go somewhere, you know what I mean? It's like, I feel so stuck, but then I think about flights and all those kinds of things. And then it stresses me out and I'm like, okay, nevermind. I'll just stay home. Speaker 0 00:05:55 Super stressful. Like I found it super stressful. I was like, I was anxiety ridden the whole flight. And then, um, and that's the other thing I fought. They didn't serve food on the flights anymore, but no, they still do. And so you can take your mask off in order to eat. So yeah. Anyway, that was all fun. Really nice to see my parents, like that was, that was a good thing. I was like, oh, I get to see my family. Yeah. But for the first couple of days, I was just like, have I come down with COVID? Am I infecting them? Yeah, no, I hope that's true. Yeah. It's been a week. So in a week and I haven't come down with anything. So I definitely didn't have COVID maybe there, but I might get it in the next week or so. And your parents. Speaker 0 00:06:49 Well, yeah, yeah. They're doing well. Yeah. Oh yeah. That's the other thing I forgot to say. So I assume that they would actually check to see whether or not we had like gotten doubly vaccinated checks. No one checks. What do you mean? Nobody checks to see whether or not you're unvaccinated, vaccinated. Nothing. I had my, I had my vaccine status, like all pulled up on my phone, ready to go to like show people that I have like had my two vaccines. No, no one cared. What? Yeah. So you could be sitting in an, in a flight full of unvaccinated people. Like you would just never know Speaker 1 00:07:25 That is okay. That's that is scary. It's like, oh, that's just very scary. Speaker 0 00:07:31 Yeah. Yeah, exactly. And like, so we like beforehand, we looked up to see whether or not we had been like, um, so you know, there's quarantine rules in every province and stuff like that. And so, so like in Manitoba they just recently lifted like the quarantine rules. So if you had your two vaccines, then you don't have to sell quarantine before you actually go to your destination. So, you know, so, you know, we've all been up like, so yeah, my partner and I have been doubly boxed, like my family's all doubly back. So everything like, we were all good to go. So there was no need for us to self quarantine. So I thought for sure, when he landed, somebody would be like, Hey, have you been doubly Bakst Nope. Picked up our luggage, walked out the door. Nobody cared. There was no weight there. Oh. So wait, but are you allowed to fly? I guess it's the honor system. No, no one checked. No one checked. Like I could not have been vaccinated and I could've just gotten on a flight, so yeah. Yeah. I was like maybe, maybe Speaker 1 00:08:37 I'll I'll I'll put my travel plans on hold. Speaker 0 00:08:43 Maybe I'll just wait it out. Yeah. It was, it was a bit disconcerting. Like I hope they change that soon. Cause I was just like, what the hell? At least in Winnipeg, like on our way back, they did a temperature check, which I mean is something it's useless, but at least it's something like, at least it shows that they care to some extent, but like, no, Nope. Nobody's checking. Like I guess, I guess maybe it's because there aren't any vaccine passport. No, but the crazy thing. Okay. No, this is the crazy thing. So in the airport, no, it gets like it's a free for all. Anyone can do whatever they want. So then, but in Manitoba I was like chatting with like friends of mine, get a card. Like you get a card that is basically a vaccine passport in Manitoba. They have like this plastic card, it has a QR code. Speaker 0 00:09:32 You can actually like scan it at different places. And it allows you to like eat indoors. It allows you to like watch a bombers game or like a gentleman that talked to on forward. So like, you can't attend any of these events in Manitoba, unless you show that you've been doubly Baptist. But like, yeah, they don't have that in Ontario and they certainly don't have that on air on the airplanes. So I don't know what's going on. It's just like it's just to wash. Yeah. I know. That's what the crazy thing is, is because like my friends in Manitoba were like, don't you have one of these and we're like, no, they let us do whatever the hell we want to parents. So when you Speaker 1 00:10:11 Stopped from going into restaurants and stuff, then Speaker 0 00:10:13 No, no, no. Cause we know, cause I, cause because I was like super frightened that we had caught something on the plane. I was like, if we're going to get together, please sit up. Let's all sit on a patio because I don't want to be responsible for getting you sick. So yeah. What else can I do? Right. Like I don't want to subject other people to like the idiocy of what what's happening with your Canada. So it is, it is crazy. Your parents, how are they doing? They're good. They're good. Um, yeah. They're like, uh, they're pottering along. Speaker 0 00:10:58 I can't, yeah, I can't complain too much. My dad seems to be doing okay. Which is good. Cause like, I'm pretty sure I mentioned this in another podcast, but like, uh, yeah, like he, he has like, he has dementia, so I like just being away for a year and a half. I just, and just listening to him, I guess his issue is, is that he's he has like, he's lost most of the short-term memory. So even when you're talking on the phone with him, like he'll go over the same stories over and over again, like in a very short spirit, like period of time, like within minutes. And he'll just kind Speaker 1 00:11:28 Of like, and it has that sort of, I don't know, accelerated, uh, over the past Speaker 0 00:11:34 Since you last call him, I guess. Yeah. So like that's the thing, like I noticed it on the phone. I was just like, Ooh, this isn't good. You know, but luckily I think like it hasn't really affected his function, so he's able to like, you know, he can make breakfast for himself and like he's eating well and like know he can like, you know, like he he's like he putters in the garden, like, you know, he's, he's still functioning. So, um, yeah, yeah. Yeah. So, I mean, I'm glad to see that because initially I was just like, oh my God, he's losing a short-term memory. Like what else has he lost? But he seems to be okay. Good. Glad to hear that. Yeah. I mean, I think he's driving my mom a bit crazy because he always, like, he always asks the same questions over the week that I was there. It wasn't too, too bad. So that was good. Speaker 0 00:12:29 But yeah. Anyway. Yeah, it was, it was, it was nice to visit. It was nice to go back and just kind of like, I don't know, touch base with them. It's funny. Cause I, I zoom everywhere else, but like I don't zoom or FaceTime with my parents. Like they're still traditionally like, so I'm like, okay. I mean, I it's no skin off mine. It was like, yeah, whatever you want to use, it's all good. But like, yeah. There's only so much that a phone call covered like covers. Yeah. And like, and that's the other thing, like, I don't know what this is, south Asian thing or just a, my parents thing, but like their phone call, like phone calls. My mother are very short, like super short. It's just like, how are you doing? Are you, you know, what are you eating? She'll tell me, like, maybe she might tell me a little story about like, what's happened to her during the week, but then like, it's always like, okay, I've got to go, bye. Speaker 1 00:13:28 It. Isn't just, she has a lot of like, she's really busy. He Speaker 0 00:13:33 Was one of these people that like busies herself with all sorts of little things. Like she always finds time. Like she always just basically has like her time like mapped out to do different things in the house, you know? Cause she's said cooking all the time, man. So anyway, but like, uh, I think that's the thing. Like I feel like she doesn't want to keep like basically like an hour long conversation would be like super luxurious to her. You know? It was just like, wow, it's super short. It's always like touch base. Make sure you're okay. And then it's just like, okay, I've got to go home conversations Speaker 1 00:14:10 With my dad, but my mom, like, she'll talk a lot. Like, she'll be like, oh this happened or that happened. Not always depends if she has plans. And then my mom does have a Speaker 0 00:14:20 More active social life than I do. So it's like, okay, I have to go. You know, it's like, are you okay? Is everything okay? Do you need anything? Like, you know, we got to go, Speaker 1 00:14:33 But if she's like at home or you know, she's bored or whatever, then she'll actually talk a lot. So, so I would say that it's a mix, but my dad, my conversations with my daughter really, really funny when I lived in the us, um, my conversations would literally be like maybe 45 seconds. My mom's not that bad. Usually like, hi. Yeah. Are you okay? Yeah, how's work good. You know, do you need money? No. You know, do you eat green apples? And if you don't what? Yeah, like in the beginning it would be like, what, Speaker 0 00:15:17 Like sometimes what was the deal? What was the deal with the green apples? Speaker 1 00:15:26 She was just under the impression that if you eat green apples, um, you'll stay Speaker 0 00:15:31 Healthier longer and he'd be like, you drink milk. Speaker 1 00:15:36 I'm like sometimes, you know, make sure you drink some milk. Okay. Thanks. I will. Speaker 0 00:15:43 You know, and that would be the extent of my conversation with my father. So funny. Okay. My mom's a little bit better. She wouldn't go through stories like that. Like, you know, like I have conversations with my friends, like over the phone and those can range from like a one hour conversation is short some three hour, four hour long saga. Right. And so then like, so like by comparison, my mom's conversations seem very short. They're always like, oh, this is weird. It only took like 20 minutes. Like it doesn't really even have a conversation anyway. Speaker 0 00:16:27 Yeah. Yeah. And I'm sure she doesn't want like a three hour long conversation. But the funny thing is is that like, when you're there, it's like totally different. Like suddenly she's like telling you stories from like her childhood and she's telling you stories from like just the other day, some drama that she's having with, like, so-and-so like, it's just, it becomes like, it's like, it's much more of a conversation, you know? It's weird. And, and has she always been like that? Yeah, I think so. As far as like, yeah, in my, in my like 40 plus years of living. Yeah. She's always been like that. Yeah. She was always telling us stories. Like when we were like little, she would like, yeah. She would just like tell us all sorts of things. Like I remember, um, I'm pretty sure that like my, my, uh, politics have come from her mainly because like she would, yeah. She would chat about like all sorts of, yeah. I mean, she, she would tell us like the story might change, like really strange things like do retrospectively huh? Other ten-year-olds got this conversation. Speaker 0 00:17:42 It was, it was interesting. It was really interesting. Yeah. She goes through like all sorts of like different political structures and different like, and be like, yeah, this is why that didn't work. And this is what this didn't work. It's like, it's, it's very odd. I had a very odd childhood actually. I loved it. Like looking back on it. It was just like how this was definitely like not the norm I'm down with it. This is cool. Yeah, I know. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I remember like, oh, I still remember. This is so funny. Like I remember like, so my brother was born in the U S and so, um, my mother did not like you as politics. Speaker 0 00:18:33 She was, she was very anti us politics. I mean, I, you know, like I think when we had come to Canada, like Reagan was like, yeah, Reagan was president. And I think then after that it was George Bush. And so like, you know, she just wasn't happy with the politics there. And like, I feel so sorry for my brother. Like, so I inherited my mom's politics because that's all I knew. And then like, um, as a child, right. Like you don't really think about it. And then like, um, and then my poor brother, he was born in the U S so obviously he was very proud of being a U S like being, um, like from America. And so two of us would gang up on him and be like, look at all wars that they're fighting across the world. Speaker 0 00:19:20 Oh my God, my poor brother. He grew to realize that us politics were kind of, so I think they're just very passionate people. Yeah. That's funny. Yeah. It was interesting. Yeah. It was interesting. So she still, yeah, she, she, she has some interesting stories I have to say. Yeah. Like it was, but what I find odd is that like, when I find out about visiting my parents, especially now, like, you know, now that they're getting older, is that like, they do share stories about their like life that you did. Like, they wouldn't have shared when they were younger. Like you just didn't know about them when you were a kid, but then like suddenly like, oh, you know, I did this and that and the other. And you're like, huh, why didn't you tell the story before this is fascinating. Is it because Speaker 1 00:20:18 They're treating you more as contemporaries now? Like, do they think like you're finally old enough to know in me or 40 plus years, you're like finally worthy of it. <inaudible> Speaker 0 00:20:38 Yeah. That is possible. It is possible. I think it might be a distance thing. Cause like my mom, my mom and dad actually, like when we were down there, like, they were both telling me stories about living in Libya. Like when we lived in Libya and I didn't know, he lived there for three years. Can you believe this? Like for the longest time I thought, oh yeah. We were only in Libya for eight years because like, I went to school there when I was four. And then like, I was like, yeah, that's it. We were just there for the year because like, that's my memory of it when I was four, we were there for apparently three years. So maybe not three, maybe like, but at least, apparently at least two. Cause like, cause um, yeah, cause my brother was born and then like we went to, we went to Ghana, but then Ghana wasn't any good. Speaker 0 00:21:26 And then we went to Olivia and so then like, so yeah, so my dad and my dad. Yeah, yeah, we did. We had like a, yeah, we ha I had a, had a very complicated living situation when we were younger. But like, yeah. So then, so then my mom and dad were both talking about like their situation and Lydia and like, I was like, so first of all, I realized we were living there longer than I thought initially. I was like, oh, this is news to me. I need to reshape my thinking about my own life though. Speaker 0 00:22:02 They were telling us stories about like life there. And I was just like, wow, that is fascinating. Like, it's a, cause we were there when Gadhafi was in power. And like, as a kid, you don't know anything. Right. You're just kind of like, you kind of go to a school and everything's all good, whatever. And then, uh, yeah, my mother, my mother was really like upset. They went there cause I think they went there on my, the recommendation of a friend or something. Cause like, I think, I think at the time, like Ghana, wasn't really conducive to like, like a good quality of life, but I think in the other we're paying more. And so like, so then somebody was like, well, you should go live in Libya. But you know, they were fairly naive and like the internet wasn't really a thing. And like you were kind of limited to whatever story, like whatever you saw in the newspaper. Speaker 0 00:22:55 And I don't know that there were all that many stories about Libya in the newspaper. So they didn't know very much about the country. And I think at that time, like Khadafi was like just coming to power. Was it empower already for a while? Cause like, I think we, we went in there in the early eighties, but he had already like, he was already showing kind of, um, you know, like kind of despotic signs, you know, there were hangings in this town square and all sorts of things. So then like, but like they didn't know anything. Like my parents didn't know anything about this and then like, and suddenly they were in Libya and they're like, oh my God, what the hell? Speaker 0 00:23:36 Yeah. Managed to actually stay for longer. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. I mean, I'm surprised they managed to, you know, I'm surprised they managed to like there as long as they did, but like they did. And then my mother was telling me this crazy story about like how like social. So for a while they were living like in this hotel, like I think that university that like had hired my father, like they had set them up in a hotel until like they could find like permanent lodging or whatever. And so then my like, and my mom knew nothing about like Arabic laws around women and like what, like basically like how women could act in like an Arabic country. And she was just like, cause I think she had just assumed it was like in India and like in India, like you can have somebody who's Muslim living like in your neighborhood and it's all well and good. Speaker 0 00:24:34 And it's not like, you know, like it's, it's not like, I guess maybe she didn't have very many like Muslim friends who were like seriously like religious or whatever. So she didn't really think anything of it. She didn't know that like, you know, you'd have to cover yourself. And I honestly, I don't know what, I don't know what the situation exactly was in the BSO. She, she was just walking around like she probably does. And like, I'm sure people were getting her books and they were just like, what the hell is going on? But anyway, she managed to like manage to figure that situation out. But then she was telling me that like when they were living in this hotel, um, this, she was like, she had me, she had my brother, my brother was like super young. Like I think he was like a, just a toddler. Speaker 0 00:25:17 And like, and of course I was like, I wasn't much older. And so then like, um, she was outside, I think, hanging clothes to dry and like air-dry and this man jumped into the balcony. Yeah. He liked scale. The fence jumped into the balcony and she like, she was watching and then she basically like grabbed the two of us, went into the hotel lobby and like refuse to move. She was like, I'm not going back into that house. And then she said, yeah. And then she was just like, wasn't I think he was trying, he must've been trying to attack her like, cause she saw I'm sure he like knew she was alone, had the two kids, you know? So then like, um, yeah, so she basically got out by the skin of her teeth. And then I think actually that day my dad had like, had been looking for housing. And so he came that day and he was just like, what are you doing in the lobby? And then she was just like, yeah, this guy basically like, and he was just like, oh, cause I basically found this like how like this apartment on the top floor of this like 10 floor apartment house, like temporal apartment building. He's like, yeah. He's like, I don't know if we want it because like there's no elevator. And she was just like, I don't care. She's like, I don't care. Let's just go this hotel like a minute longer. Speaker 0 00:26:47 So, which is crazy. I was just thinking, my God, this is, this is the, this is a story that I never, ever remember being told when I was little. So I was like, Hmm, I wonder, I wonder why Speaker 1 00:26:59 Like, was she just being nostalgic or not nostalgic, but like, you know how you, uh, like my dad's been doing that lately. Like I find like, as he's been getting older and like normally he's been, you know, I mean, he's always been a jolly person, but he never really talked about like, he was never one of those people who was, who would look to the past, he was always like, you know, about present future kind of stuff. And then, but lately he has been talking a lot more about things that have happened in the past, like his childhood or like, you know, his university days or stuff like that. And he, he kind of gets offended if you don't want to listen to the full story a couple of times already, you know? Speaker 0 00:27:43 So he never told you stories and he's just starting to, or like, yeah, Speaker 1 00:27:47 He's just starting to, um, no, he, I mean, he would like maybe a random story, but it wasn't never like, oh, I remember when kind of a thing. Right. It was more like, you know, I walked five miles to school barefoot kind of a story. Speaker 0 00:28:05 Oh yeah, yeah. When we were younger he would tell you, Speaker 1 00:28:10 But any, I mean, his stories were more like it had a lesson and, and you know, he wanted us to know about something. So there was context to it. Whereas now it's more for him if that makes sense. Yeah. So like his stories are more about, it's almost like he doesn't actually really, I mean, it could be any audience, he just needs an audience to remember some of them. What kind of stories is he sharing with you now Speaker 0 00:28:45 About? So when he was a teenager he Speaker 1 00:28:49 Participated or have high enough participation is the right word. But he was, he was in, um, in the war of 1971, uh, in between Bangladesh and Pakistan. And at the time, I guess they were both Pakistan and anyway, um, and, and so I know growing up, I would ask him, cause I knew he was quote unquote a freedom, not quote unquote, but like he was what they call a freedom fighter. Uh, I knew that, but it would be usually because other people would tell me about my dad being a freedom fighter. Right. And, and he had books or he had, uh, about the history, you know, or stuff like that, that I would need. And, and, and he would be, and he would say, oh yeah, you know, we did this, we did that like as a nation, but in a very historical context. But if I asked him about his experiences would never share them, for example, whereas now you can't get him to shut up. Speaker 1 00:29:49 It's wonderful to hear his stories. Uh, but it's also weird in a way, because he's emotional about it. You know, it was before he would just be very stoic, um, and say what I fought. Yes. You know? Well, my gosh, were you scared? Yes. Like, you know, like it was a very, um, matter of fact, storytelling versus now where he's truly reminiscing about the details and about the people and, and about the emotional side of the events. So, so yeah. So I, and I, I don't know, like, I feel like it's so like my sister and I will be like, oh, you know what? It's like, oh, he's getting older and, and who Speaker 0 00:30:30 Must want to do this? You know? So we kind Speaker 1 00:30:34 Of chalk it up to like the fact that he's getting older, that he kind of wants to do this. But, Speaker 0 00:30:41 Um, yeah. So are you thinking, it's just because he's getting more nostalgic as he gets older or like these, that way you and your sister are putting it down to? Speaker 1 00:30:52 I think so. I mean, I think that was our interpretation. It was like, oh, you know, um, like, I don't know. I don't know what else to call it. Like it just, like I said, it seems, it's very, unlike the dad we grew up with, I mean, it's still dad, it's unlike the father. We knew as a kid, um, as kids and it's more, you know, it, it, it, it reminds me of like, you know, like the, like the older man in a diner, you know, who, who wants to sit and tell you the stories, like back in the day, a little bit of that, it's very cute. Um, um, and, and, and the stories are very fascinating, but it's just different from the dad we know. Yeah. Speaker 0 00:31:44 Yeah. Or that you like that you were just growing up with. I'm like, if some of it is just because, like, it provides them, like maybe like the time, like, cause it was so long ago, like it's provided him some sort of emotional distance to talk about it now. Cause I know my mom said that for like the, her, her time in the BL, like she said that it wasn't like at the time it wasn't a good situation for like the, like for her. Um, or for like the, like the two of them as a couple, like, you know, like just, just the family. It just wasn't like, she felt it wasn't a good time. Like she didn't, she didn't like the country. She didn't like what was going on. Like she just remembers it as a very like problematic time in her life. And so like, I think now she, I think now she can talk about it a little bit more because it was so far back now that she's kind of like, eh, you know, like 30, 40 years have passed. Speaker 0 00:32:40 Like I can, you know, I can, I can at least tell you something about what, what it was like there, you know, so, but like, it sounds like it was really tough because my dad was even thinking, even my dad who was having issues with his memory, like he was, he, he, he remembers a time where like they, they would, yeah, they would live on the top floor, 10 story, apartment building. And they would normally, there was no elevator. And then like, apparently in Libya, just because like, I don't know food was scarce, but you couldn't buy like individual packages of sugar. Like you couldn't buy like a five kilogram thing of sugar. It was like 50 kilograms, like in a big jute bag type thing. And he had to cart that all the way out, 10 floors. And I was just like, that doesn't sound good, but like, you know, like little things like that, but like now I think they more comfortable talking about it just because like, there is some distance, um, maybe that's the same with your father. Like he can like talk about it a little bit more openly just because, you know, he has enough time Speaker 1 00:33:45 Has passed for him to process. Yeah. Speaker 0 00:33:47 Like, you know, all of those feelings and all of the, you know, must have been hard being a F you know, B basically being a F like a freedom fighter in that war. Right. Like he's lost a lot of friends to it and stuff. Yeah. So exactly. Speaker 1 00:34:01 And see, when I was a kid, I remember asking him and he'd be like, yeah, but then he never said anything and turns out that one of his closest friends died right next to him. Right. Like, oh my gosh. Um, so, um, and then, uh, another story he mentioned was that when they were hiding, uh, there was, there were times when they would literally be like they would swim, but then what they would do is literally in the dark float with the current of the river. Wow. River have currents, but you know what I mean? Like yeah. Um, but, um, but basically they would literally do it in the cover of the darkness. Right. And, and go from a village to village or whatever it was that they needed. And, and, um, the way they look, uh, you know, what try and figure out who would support them or help them along feed thumb, you know? Um, cause it was really risky, uh, for sure, for people to sort of help them in any way. Right. Um, cause they were seen as, you know, Speaker 2 00:35:06 I guess, Speaker 0 00:35:08 I don't know, like an upstart arm type thing. Yeah. Wow. That must be scary for him. Like I Speaker 1 00:35:15 Kid, right. He was like, what? 17, 18, you know? Speaker 0 00:35:20 Yeah. That's like, Speaker 1 00:35:25 So when you were telling me about your mom telling you the story, I'm like, oh, well maybe it's like, you know, she's finally like, oh I can share with my dad how scary. Speaker 0 00:35:42 Yeah. I know she, yeah. She did not like she did not like that time at all. It's like, yeah. I mean, I don't blame her. Like yeah. I think we were watching some documentary about like tyrants or something on Netflix. And like one of them is like more Margaret Dolphy and I was just like, oh my God, this was all happening. Like when I was living there and like I had no clue, you're just like, you're living in your own little four year old world. And you're like, life is fine. Speaker 1 00:36:12 As long as mom and dad are there. I'm good. I'm not serious too. And, and, and uh, apparently he wrote a book that every school child had to, um, Speaker 0 00:36:22 Learn from. Yeah. So we didn't cause like, I think like we will look at well not at school. Yeah. Yeah. So we, I ended up in like some, I ended up in like a British school and so yeah. It's funny. Cause like my mother was telling me, apparently they, they were trying to, they were trying not to let us in or like let me in, they weren't, there was somehow like trying to prevent me from coming in. But then my mother, like, yeah, my, my mom's really good at this. Like, I mean, I guess my dad too, but like the, yeah, like the, they were super like when it came to our education, they would like fight. And so yeah. Somehow they, they, they managed to get us in. So I don't ever remember reading them a book like that. I guess like the British schools were like exempt from this things or yeah. It Speaker 1 00:37:11 Was probably like a national school thing. Speaker 0 00:37:13 Yeah, probably. Yeah. Speaker 1 00:37:16 Maybe like our histories. Like if you think about it, like Speaker 0 00:37:19 Our personal history is you mean? Or like just Speaker 1 00:37:22 In time, like, you know, all these things, like, I mean your history, um, even though you don't actually remember you were so young, this is a big part of you. So in a way your mom's stories about that time is actually your history. Speaker 0 00:37:37 Oh yeah. For sure. Well, that's like Speaker 1 00:37:43 Corey, but you know what it's being told to you? Like it's just such an odd concept. Speaker 0 00:37:48 It is. It is. I know. And that's the funny thing, because when she was telling me this story, I was like, I was basically living with you, but I was completely clueless. So funny. Speaker 1 00:38:04 Yeah. Well this is, this is, uh, I think like one of those things, right? Like it's like, it's part of you, it's part of your history. Uh, you know, and, and even though you lived, it didn't know you lived it, but being told about it, I, I'm just kind of interested to sort of see, you know, how it becomes like in 20 years down the line, how that becomes a part of your, uh, Speaker 0 00:38:27 Personal. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know like my changed personal history. That's the funny thing is just like, I didn't think that, like I could learn that much more about even myself and then, you know, she adds a little bit more. I know it's crazy like that, like the things that you learn about, if you, if you, when you talk to your parents, which is really funny because like, I feel like people contain multitudes and you just don't know because nobody asks, right? Like, unless they're willing to share with you, like, you just don't know what their life entails. My mom recently told me that she like was apparently when she was younger, she had like, uh, what's the word I'm looking for? Like she gained, like they, they had accepted her to medical school in India, which at that time was kind of crazy to me. Speaker 0 00:39:23 Cause I was just like, dude, that's like, you know, like in the, like it took in the sixties. Right. Like that is super cool. Yeah. Like I'm like, and so, but like, you know what I mean? Like it's just like this little facet of her where you're just like, huh? Like I never knew that about you, you know, just chose not to go. Yeah. I think there were familial, like there were family issues. Additionally, we realize that like, yeah, people have, there's a lot of stuff that you can learn about a person in their life just by talking to them, you know? Speaker 1 00:39:55 Very sure. Actually, you know what you reminded me and, um, I'll save that for actually another podcast is when my mom was ill and um, like she was in the hospital, right. Like for her surgery, she was dealing with something last two years ago. Was it two years ago? Oh my gosh. Two, two and a half years ago. Wow. Time flies. Um, right before the pandemic, the summer, 10 years Speaker 0 00:40:21 Ago. Um, it feels like it happened yesterday. Yeah. I know you asked me, I'd be like, oh, that was just last year. It Speaker 1 00:40:30 Doesn't. Um, but anyway, when she was in recovery, um, they, we got a semi-private room. Um, and her, I guess, roommate, he was, um, she was like in her late Speaker 3 00:40:49 Eighties, I want to say, Speaker 1 00:40:51 Um, uh, S uh, sweetest person ever. She was very sweet, but anyway, um, and so I would actually sit and talk to her because she never had any visitors. And she had the most fascinating story, um, of surviving a world war two errands, her husband, she may have been from the other side, Speaker 0 00:41:13 The non-licensed <inaudible>, you're talking to Nazis. She was Polish Speaker 1 00:41:33 Who she met when she moved here. But anyways, it was a fascinating story. Um, and, and lovely. I actually had a blast, you know, uh, talking to her, her, but she was all alone and she never had any visitors. She lived in a home, but she needed to come to the hospital for some kind of specific surgery. And so she never had any visitors. Right. Her son died in a car accident, like when he was, uh, right after graduating high school. Oh my God. She didn't have any other kids. And, um, anyway, it was just, but just listening to her and talking to her. And I don't know, I just remember thinking that, you know, so much time has passed. Right. And, and, you know, when we watch movies or when we read box or like, you know, we tend to think of a character and be, sort of keep them frozen in time, if you will. Speaker 1 00:42:29 Right. Like, oh, the person is a Nazi or a person as this, or a person as that. Right. But clearly she's gone on to live on and do other things. And, and, um, you know, she was a little girl when, when the, the war not mean, you know, she was like a young girl when the, when the war happened. But, um, and then, you know, she's had so much more history since then her, you know, her son went, uh, to the same high school that I went to obviously years before I did, but to sort of, you know, um, Speaker 0 00:43:11 To learn about, yeah, Speaker 1 00:43:14 I just said I was going to save that story for another podcast, but clearly I didn't, Speaker 0 00:43:21 What would have been our world war II podcast, Speaker 1 00:43:27 But to your point, it's, it's just fascinating that, you know, people lived through so much and, and there's so many aspects and facets to who they are and the kinds of events that share shaped them. Like these are like big things, right? Like for parents to just up and move to Ghana, then up and move, and someone says, Hey, you know what? You should go check out Libya. And they're like, yeah, you know what? We have two kids, but we're going to do that. No, Speaker 0 00:44:00 Nothing about this country, but we're going to set up there. Speaker 1 00:44:04 Let's just check it out, see what happens. It's fascinating. Right. And then, then they moved what to the, to, to, you know, finally like all the travel they did and all the moves they did before they settled in Canada. And, and, and just think about like how all of that stuff has shaped who you are today. I don't know. Um, yeah. Yeah. Speaker 0 00:44:31 Oh my God. It's too funny. No, no, I do. I actually, I do. I do think about that a lot because I, yeah, my childhood was like, was like, it's, it's not that no child has gone through what I have. Like lots of, you know, there are a lot of people who have like, traveled a lot as a kid, but like, I think that, like, just because of the things that I was exposed to as a kid, like, it just gave me a better understanding of like, it gave me a sharper understanding of the world as a child, like much more so than I would have if I just like, lived in the same city for years. You know what I mean? Like, yeah. I think Speaker 1 00:45:11 Maybe you wouldn't have learned how to be aware of your surroundings quickly. Yeah. I think the fact that you moved around so much probably made it, you know, second nature to you where you're like, okay, I have to take stock of the situation and what my environment around me kind of a thing, you know, to see how I'm in. Yeah, Speaker 0 00:45:33 Yeah, yeah. I think it's just like, but then the other thing you realize is just like how cultures are different between, like, if you have a much better understanding of the differences between cultures, like much earlier that, you know, like, even though like, you would think, oh, you're a kid. Like, what can you really know? But like, I feel like that upbringing has like, just, it's just made me much more aware of the world at a much younger age than most people, because I feel like, I dunno, like, like, I, I feel that, like, if you haven't had that experience, you haven't traveled that much. You like, it's all kind of abstract concepts to you. You're kind of like, oh, Europe or Asia Antarctica, you know, there's kind of like memes and you kind of learn about them in an abstract way, but like this year. Yeah. Like if, if you've actually like lived in some different place for a while, like, it's, it just gives you a better understanding. And I think it also just makes you more like, yeah, I think it's just made me more open to like, learning about other cultures at a younger age too. Like, oh, you know, like you're not that, and it also makes you like, you're, you're aware of other cultures, but you're also aware of the fact that they're very similar to you, even though you're not from the same background, you know, and Speaker 1 00:46:59 You have your parents to thank for that. I know, Speaker 0 00:47:02 I know. I know. I mean, teenage Speaker 1 00:47:06 Fights with them in perspective. Speaker 0 00:47:11 Don't understand me at all. Now. It's like, my gosh, you land the way I am. Totally. I know all that all frankly. Cause I'm like, if I cause like I think about it all the time, I'm like, by the time that like my mother was my age, like she had already carded like two young kids, like across multiple continents and moved multiple times over the course of her life. And I was just like, there is no way, like there's no way I could do that. Like I would not be moving children from country to country. It seems like a little bit of a night there and that she managed to do it. I don't know how both you and Speaker 1 00:47:55 Your sibling turned out. All right. Speaker 0 00:47:58 I like to think so. I'm sure we're quirky, but I would like to think, so my brother's a pretty cool guy. I wouldn't say they did something. Right. Speaker 1 00:48:18 But I guess on that note, we should probably call it an episode. Speaker 0 00:48:22 I think we should. Uh, but uh, you know, I'm actually, you Speaker 1 00:48:27 Know, I think for a future episode, we should probably look into this cultural differences and, and thing. Um, you know, viewpoints, uh, when it comes to actually getting older. I'm kind of curious now, now Speaker 0 00:48:40 That you mentioned know, Speaker 1 00:48:42 That's actually interesting. I wonder how our parents view, because I feel like they have a different, or maybe a distinct viewpoint. And I'm kind of curious if it's similar between our cultures and their friends' Speaker 0 00:48:55 Cultures as well. Yeah, no, I am sure there are. I'm sure there's a, I'm sure there are quite a few differences between different cultures in terms of like how they view aging. So I think, I think that is something that we should probably pursue at a later date. Yeah. No for sure. Yeah, but for now, anyway. Yeah. On that note, I guess we should, uh, we should ask you guys to find us on social. So, um, yeah, you can find us at our website on, does this make me look old.com and then, uh, our Twitter, Facebook and Instagram handles are all there. Um, Speaker 1 00:49:35 Or even write to us at, uh, does this make me local that gmail.com Schiff is the only person who answers those emails, but Speaker 0 00:49:43 <inaudible>, I know some people write in, so like, so thanks very much for that. Um, we'd like to hear from you so Speaker 3 00:50:05 Not right then until next week. See you, bye.