Speaker 0 00:00:03 Hi, and welcome to does this make me local, a podcast about aging as gracefully as possible when you're just not ready for two 40 something year old friends will find themselves kind of straddling that really odd period of time when aging and everything that is associated with is starting to become a much bigger part of our lives. We're definitely curious, but at the same time, rather terrified about aging. I'm Schiff. I'm a health science nerd and pop culture themes, and I'm sin and adult and waiting obsessed with finance and self-help books. We're going to be talking about the stereotypes of aging and how they affect us. And we'll also be doing some deeper dives into some interesting topics, such as what it's like to get old in the society dating when you're older and scientific advancements in anti-aging products and even evolution and scientific thinking around aging and throughout it all we chat rant laugh about or adulting mishaps of which there are so, so, so many. So join us as we navigate our second quarter life crisis.
Speaker 1 00:01:08 Hi, and welcome to this week's episode of does this make me local patients? Hey Sam, how's it going? Not bad, not bad. You know, hanging in there it's a long weekend. So, but whatever, I was just going to say, it's a long weekend and that's great, but then I'm working. So, you know, good times feel any better. I'm working too. So that's the story of our lives. Oh, I know. I know. Well, I mean, it fits very well with the topic this week. Cause I'm, I'm thinking, uh, on one hand I'm like, I'm kind of a workaholic on the other hand, I'm thinking, but I kind of want to retain, oh my goodness. Well like finances mainly. And I think that that like segues very nicely to what we were thinking about talking about, which is like financial mistakes that we made in our quote youth. Although for me, I feel like I'm still, I'm still doing, oh my God. As soon as you just said that, as you said, I'm like, have we stopped making those mistakes? I know, I know. I that's what I was thinking. Like I actually haven't stopped making the mistakes. I'm trying to learn from them, but like I, yeah. Yeah. It's kind of like a, it's like a work in progress. It's kind of like trying to lose weight.
Speaker 1 00:02:37 Don't get me started on that one today. Emotional. Um, no worries. I just meant it's like, it's a constant battle and yes, it is. It is a constant battle. Oh my goodness. Yeah. So yeah, so this week we're going to talk about like financial, I don't if financial mistakes or any more financial issues. Um, and like I have mistakes. I have mistakes too, but I'm just like, I'm just like, they're mistakes that keep going. So chronic tissue. Fair enough. Okay. So, so, so tell me one of them. Okay. What's, what's a chronic issue for you. Yeah. So like when you were thinking about yeah. Cause when we were talking about this and you were like, oh, let's talk about like financial, like mistakes that we made in our, when we were younger. And like, we kind of understood we're like problems back then and things that we should correct in our like older age. Um, especially because now they'll impact retirement. Um, and you know, like affect work life balance, blah, blah, blah. Um, yeah, so I was giving some thought to it and like, I think my main financial, like financial concern that, um, I had when I was younger and I still kind of have, but like, I kind of recognize it now and I'm trying to curb it S like with varying levels of success, depending on the day, um, is, uh, emotional spending, you went deep in your ease into it.
Speaker 1 00:04:30 I know it's going to sort of start off small, like, oh, I wish I had saved a little bit more difficult one. Okay. Let's deal with the big topic first. Yeah. I think this is like, okay, I'm still learning. And I'm sure, like, there's a lot of like, and because emotional spending obviously has a lot to do with like, probably like psychology and maybe like, you know, psychiatric issues, et cetera. Like, I mean, it's, it's a pretty big thing. And I don't like, I'm not going to say that I can solve it or I have solved it or that like, we can solve it in chatting on about it on this podcast. But like, I do recognize that like a lot of my cause, I mean, okay, like, okay, just to step back, sorry, this has become like super long-winded. But anyway, but like, just to step back, like we all know what we're supposed to do.
Speaker 1 00:05:29 Right. Like, you know, you're taught by your parents that like, you know, you, you work, you make money, you save, you try to invest a little bit, you know, like, and then you basically try to create a nest egg so that like, when you retire, you have money to live off of correct. Like, this is kind of like the, yeah. But the thing is, is like life kind of gets in the way. And like, and even though, you know, this logically, I don't know, like, like things sometimes disrupt it. And I think that when I was like, in my twenties that, you know, you, you start to make money and like, yeah. You know, you're supposed to save it, but like, you know, you want it, like, first of all, like you, you're just excited. You're making money. Can you spend money on things that you want to do?
Speaker 1 00:06:13 Like travel and like, you know, material things. And like, you know, if you've like, if you have a new place, you want to decorate it, stuff like that. But then sometimes like life stress, and this is what I find, I do a lot. Life's like, because shopping makes me happy. If I am unhappy in life, then sometimes you just use spending in order to like, get that feeling, you know, where you're like, like maybe you're stressed or anxious because, because the reason I'm, and I don't mean to, uh, you know, be like, oh, what is that? Because, so I spend a lot too, but I actually don't enjoy shopping. So, uh, but I also have emotional spending. So it's a different, but it's a different type. Okay.
Speaker 1 00:07:04 Yeah. That's what I'm like. Okay. So tell me a little bit more and elaborate a little bit because that I don't understand because I find shopping to be stressful. Yeah. So, no, but it depends on the type of shopping. Right. So like sometimes, and this is why it becomes complicated for different like, cause it's very individual, right? Like it's all dependent on your psyche. Right. And it's yeah. So like, um, yeah, so sometimes I find shopping stressful. If you need a certain item and like, you can't find it or like, you know, that type of thing can be stressful. But then the other thing that I find shopping, like, I it's true. Like I, it's not like I love shopping all the time, but, but like the other thing that can be stressful and this is where you bring body image and body dysmorphia, et cetera, et cetera, into like to the conversation.
Speaker 1 00:07:54 And probably something we can talk about later. But like, like, so shopping emotionally can go a couple of ways in the sense that like, if you're feeling really great about yourself, then I like shopping. Cause like I remember once I lost like a lot of weight and I was just like, oh my God, I feel fabulous. And then you're just like, I want to show myself off. And so then you end up going, but then you end up going one way, right. Where you're just like, I'm gonna buy like a super slim fitting dress that I've like always wanted to buy, but like we never had the guts to, you know what I mean? And so then you can go that way, but then like, if you feel crappy about yourself, then it becomes really stressful. Like it's just like, oh God, I feel so fat today.
Speaker 1 00:08:33 But I do need this like skirt shirt, whatever. And you're just like in there and you're just like everything, but you also get a high from shopping. Depends on the type of things. So I've got like, there's like, there's different things that make me happy. Right. Like I love color. I love jewelry. So like sometimes if I like feel crappy about my life, I'll be like, I want a new ring. I want a pair of earrings or something like that. You know? So then like, or I want makeup because I, for a brief second, the, the feeling of like looking slightly different or looking like a bit like just the match. Like if you just imagine yourself, like with this new thing, like, we'll just like for a brief, second of your life just make you feel like things can be better. You know? And so then again, that, so shopping for that is not just shopping for the material item, but also like, like it's fulfilling some other need.
Speaker 1 00:09:30 Yes. Right. And so what is it about the makeup or the jewelry, um, that like, if you're having, like, what's the association, like you're having a crappy day, for example, you want to, and then you're like, you know what, I'm just going to go buy myself a ring. You know, what is it about that ring? Like, is it the browsing through the different rings that excites you? Is it the actual purchase? Is it when you get it that you feel the most happy? Like what about it? So it's, it's, it's a lot of things. Right. So like, I think, I think the entire experience is like very full, like weirdly like psychologically fulfilling, like sometimes. And the thing is, is like sometimes I browse for things like just cause I mean, I love jewelry. I just like the, I like the sparkle, the colors, like, it just, it's just a thing.
Speaker 1 00:10:24 Like that's just, I always have ever since I was a kid, like I was just like, I, I was just obsessed with jewelry. My mom had, I feel so bad. My mom had this Pearl ring and I think I was six. And like, and we were sitting in this train on India in India and like, I was just obsessed with this ring. It was so pretty like, and the Pearl just like, glistened so nicely. And like, and, um, and it was in a gold setting and it was just like gorgeous. And like, it was just so strange to remember this thing when you're a child. But anyway, I still remember it. And then like, my mother was letting me play with it on the train because she could see just like how happy it made me. And then, and she was like, don't lose it.
Speaker 1 00:11:02 She's like, I don't like, first of all, I was just, I can't, I play with the ring and she's like, no, you're going to lose it. And then I was like, no, no, no, I won't. I won't a six year old Jesus anyway. And then I think she just felt bad for me because I was just like pleading with her, you know? And then she's like, okay, but don't lose it. And then sure enough, what did I do? I fucking lost it anyways, but like this, but this just goes to show you like my lifelong love of jewelry. Right. So like, so the, the items just make me happy and like I, so I just, I'm always browsing for jewelry. Like I just like interesting rings and interesting earrings and stuff like that. Necklace has all sorts of things. And then, so like in my head, I just have like all of these items that like I already know, I like, yeah.
Speaker 1 00:11:47 So, which is probably a bad thing. But anyway, so like if I'm ever stressed and I'll, I'll just be like, let's just look at that ring again, you know? And so then like, so that's what I'll do. I'll just like go and look at it. And then, and then some stuff like, I mean, no, how it shows up in the mailbox, um, shopping bag, how did that happen? I know no one bought this. You're like, oh, look, it's been delivered to my house. Exactly. So like, yeah. So like sometimes like, I don't know. It's like, it's this weird. Okay. So yeah, part of it is like, it's a weird comfort thing because it just makes me feel better. Like, I don't know, like, and I'm sure some psychiatrists can explain this to me. I do not have enough psychiatry training or she can totally understand this, but like something about it is kind of like a comfort.
Speaker 1 00:12:54 Like it's kinda, you know, how the kids carry around like blankets. Like, yeah. So like, in my mind, like these items are kind of like comfort blankets, you know? And then if I'm stressed, like, you know, I'll see, like, let's say I'm had like a shitty day at work and then I'll like, come home and I'll just be like, oh, let me take a look at that item. You know what I mean? And then my, and then if I have the willpower, I will not buy it. But then if I don't have the willpower, it will show up in my shopping bag and then like, but then like, but the thing is, and this is what I always find interesting about these articles that talk about how material things don't make you happy. You're like, that's a lie.
Speaker 1 00:13:37 I'm sorry. That's a lie. Like those items do make me happy. Like when they show up, I am just like overjoyed. I'm like, look at how pretty it is. You know what I mean? Like I, honestly, if I could wear all my jewelry at once and not look like a total crazy person, you are like my sister, she was that kid, like, like my mom, because she would want to do what you did to your mom. Or she would want to play with all my mom's jewelry. And mom started like, you know, like she would get those toy plastic jewelries. And so she had a whole bunch of them except she would insist on wearing all of them when she went out. Dude, dude, if I didn't do that and not look totally insane. Imagine your old three piece of plastic jewelry. Oh my God.
Speaker 1 00:14:38 And you're like, oh, look at my kids. I was still embarrassed. I was like, I'm not related to this girl because obviously I was too cool for school, my style, which was, which is like, I hadn't done. But it was like, it was hilarious I'm to this day, my sister's like, you like randomly like, like every time you go, like to our place, there's like boxes every single day, a box arrives. And yeah, because she'll follow, she'll see something on Instagram, she'll see something on like, you know, and she has things bookmarked and it's just crazy, but it's, we think her addiction is shopping and we tried intervening as a family so far we have not been successful.
Speaker 1 00:15:29 Yeah. Yeah. As things go and like in my life it probably, it's probably a mild addiction, but like, luckily it hasn't like spilled over into well yet. And hopefully never, but like, you know, into like, it sounds like you get a lot of joy though. Right. And why do you think it's a mistake or an issue? Well, he is, is that like, I mean, I guess the like, like Watson financial issue. It's K. So the reason I'm saying, so technically it's not a financial issue in the sense that it's not like I'm overspending. Like, do you know what I mean? Like, it's not like I'm taking my entire paycheck and it's all going to Juul. Like then, then it would be like, okay, step back. Like let's, let's like figure out your finances type thing. But like, I, but the thing is, is like I do shop February or like not very high-end jewelry.
Speaker 1 00:16:21 It's not like, it's not like I'm walking into like Cartier and I'm like, oh, give me your like $150,000 Emerald ring or something. You know what I mean? Like, I'm not, I want that. And I want that. I exactly like give me your entire shop, but Nick, like, but it's not like cheap jewelry either. Like I'm not buying costume jewelry. I'm buying kind of like, I dunno how to explain it. It's like, it's like jewelry. Pardon? Yeah. I get it. Like, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's expensive jewelry, but it's not, it's not like I'm doing it way beyond my means. Do you know what I mean? You're shopping within your means. So it's not like, so you don't feel like, you know, you're, you're going into like some deep dark hole of debt. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. But at the same time, like if somebody was looking at my finances, they'd be like, did you really need that? You know what I mean? Like, I feel like if somebody was doing like an audit of my expenditures, then they'd just be like, you could do better putting that money into an ETF or like whatever, you know, like you could have bought stock with that, you know? But the thing is, is like, it just doesn't give you the F like the fear, like the pure physical joy, it's just like, oh, look, I have an ETF that will, now that I can, like, you know, now I can save for my retirement. Like, yay.
Speaker 1 00:17:45 I actually think, I think what you're saying is right in the sense that you're not you're right. Like you're not, um, you know, living beyond your means on these things. And if you actually have other funds that are directed towards investments and savings, and you have all the other things in place, then Hey man, the rest of it is play money. So do what you can. Yeah. Okay. So then that brings me to like other issues, so, okay. Yeah. So like, so right now it's not a problem. I feel like when I was younger, it definitely was a problem. Like, I feel like when I was like your sister's age, that's what was happening, but then it wouldn't just be, it wouldn't like, like right now for me it's jewelry for, but for back then it was closed. Like I would just buy all these clothes that I just didn't need.
Speaker 1 00:18:31 And like, and I think it's because like, when you, when you buy these items, you can kind of imagine a different, like, not a different life, but kind of like this better life with those items in your life. It's very strange. And it's the same thing with makeup. And I think like makeup and jewelry are now my things, because I find like makeup is my starter drug or like my it's like my methadone to the heroin, you know what I mean? Like, jewelry's my heroin. And then like, like makeup is my methadone because it's like, oh, look, it's only a $10 lipstick as opposed to like, you know, like whatever, like I keep like, you know, like a $200 pair of earrings, you know what I mean? Like, it's just kind of like, it's just like, it's like a little hit as opposed to like the real.
Speaker 1 00:19:22 Exactly. So, um, yeah. Different had you started, um, had you not spent on those? So I think I would've been in less credit card debt in my twenties. Cause it does like, you're making less money, but you're still spending like a crazy amount. So then like, I think that I would've been in less credit card debt and then, um, and then I just would've saved more money, you know? Like, cause you ended up buying things that you just don't really need. And then like you could've used that for other like expenses that, you know, may have actually brought you more joy. Like, you know what I mean? Like you could have, like, it's not like, I, I feel like, I don't know. It's not like, I feel like I had missed out on travel, but maybe like I could have gone to like, um, I could have gone to Japan instead of like France, you know what I mean?
Speaker 1 00:20:17 Like you could, like, you could kind of like live a little bit more extravagantly instead of like spending money on that new top. You know what I mean? So, uh, yeah, so that's, that's, that's kind of it, but then the other thing is, is that like, um, the other financial mistake that I feel like I'm still making is that I am like super conservative with my investments. Like I don't like losing money and I feel investing is like, uh, like I don't know what it is. Like I'm just thinking of how to take risks, the risks. Yeah, exactly. And I feel like I just don't, I think I have too much fear over the loss of like money in the stock market and things like that. So, so even like investing, it brings me so much anxiety and that's like something that I have to kind of get over.
Speaker 1 00:21:08 Um, and it's funny because like, you know what logically, like, and this is the thing money I find is a very emotional mind money and finances ends up becoming very emotional because like, logically I know like you can incur, you can incur some risk because in the longterm, um, that yeah, like it evens out. Right. But then like, um, and that like a loss in one year will be made up by gains in another. And like, and you can always like shift around so that, you know, like if there are losses in the stock market, you actually put more money into, you know, buying more shares because then that's when you actually reap the benefits when the stock market goes back up. These are things that I N you know, like, you know, this yes, exactly. Like I can spout all of this, like financial advice, but then like when it comes to actually doing it, like, it stresses me out so much.
Speaker 1 00:22:02 Like I have a financial planner at one of the banks and like, he literally sat me down and he was just like, let's try to put some of this money that you've saved into like an investment. And I have not contacted him again because I'm just like so much money that I've saved. I really don't want to lose any, which makes no sense because like, if it's not making money, you're like kind of losing money over time, you know? Like is actually, I agree with you, um, about this because the lack of investments, um, that is one of my biggest financial mistakes. Um, I really wish that I had started investing younger and younger age. Um, just exactly like, I think it would have been good on so many levels. Right. So first, um, I feel like I would have worked through my fears a lot quicker.
Speaker 1 00:22:58 Um, you know, cause if I had spent all the anxiety, you know, like all the time being anxious and trying to figure out what, what does it all mean? Um, back then now I feel like maybe I would have been in a little bit more, uh, less anxious state. Right. Um, secondly, I think it's like, what you said is that for the most part, the market's grown a lot since my twenties. Right. Um, it's, it's incredible. And how much, uh, in some of those stocks and stuff, um, you know, like the value now versus then like yeah, yeah, yeah. Like if you had bought shares of apple back, like 10 years ago, be like, oh, pretty good. You'd be pretty set off. Yeah.
Speaker 1 00:23:50 Um, yeah. And like, even when I first started, um, cause I was in San Francisco at the time, you know, working in Silicon valley. So, you know, I, I knew about all these, you know, startups that were going to go IPO and blah, blah, blah. And you know, like I have friends who would be like, okay, that's it. Like we have to like get into this market and this one and that one, I was never brave enough. And so I never did. And I was always like pushing it off and well, I'll research it, I'll learn about it and I'll think about it. And then by that time ship had sales, you know, and then like another six months a year goes by and you're like, oh, I still haven't started. You know? So I really wish go looking back that I think that that is probably one of the biggest mistakes I've made.
Speaker 1 00:24:36 Um, um, you know, in my younger days, like if I could really do some of those things, like the first thing I would do is just start learning how to invest, you know, even if it was a small amount, uh, just every, you know, build your confidence, confidence even, you know, what would have been nice to build my portfolio. But yes, this would be also a good thing. Yeah. I kind of already have to have a nest egg where you're just like, okay, I've got this pot and it'll be okay. And then this is play money that I can just like afford to lose. I think if I had that, then I'd just be like fine. But like, but I don't. And I'm so I'm just like, oh God, I don't want to wait. I'm like, this is part of my nest egg, please don't make me like gamble.
Speaker 1 00:25:25 Maybe this is what you do. Right. Like, oh, I mean, not that I should be giving you advice, but it's not a separate pot now. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. It's hard. It's hard. I have to, I have to just like, I think I just need like an amount that I feel comfortable. Like if I lost it all, it wouldn't matter to me. Then I then I'd be okay. But like I, or I just need to be this, I think I just need to come to just be comfortable with loss. It's funny because like I've had this RS, like I ended up in, and this is the other thing that bothers me because like I've had this RSP, like since my twenties, because I, I met, I did manage to like, obviously save like in my twenties and like I've had this RSP since my twenties, but honestly it hasn't made, it just, it feels like it hasn't made all that much money and it was kind of like, okay, the return, like I don't, I actually shouldn't do the complete calculation, but like in terms of how much I've invested versus how much it's grown, I just kind of like, okay, it's all right.
Speaker 1 00:26:23 Like, I feel like you have to put a lot of money into something in order to see the gains. Anyway, I don't know if, what I'm saying is making sense, but twenties it's harder to do in your twenties. Cause like you don't actually have all that much money to play with. Cause you're like salaries are so much lower. Right. So then that is very true. Yeah. And it's only, it's only like, I mean like now I feel comfortable that like I could play with a little bit, but it's just, but I'm still like, I think I'm just starting, I'm just trying to get over the hurdle of the fact that like, if you lose it all, it's okay. You know, like, yeah.
Speaker 1 00:27:03 So are there any, are there any other states I think, yeah. Yeah. No. So I think, yeah, so for me the investment one was definitely a major one. Like I really wish, you know, the other thing it's not like, I don't know if, I mean, I think it falls in the realm of money. Um, but it's, but maybe it's more of a money skill. What do you mean by that? Is I never really negotiated like salary. Oh yeah. And now looking back, I really wish I had. Um, and again, it's not, um, I think it's, it's a lesson that I've learned that if you don't ask, you won't get. And I think like right from the time I graduated, I was always so focused on, oh my gosh, what will I do? And who will, you know, who am I reporting to? And the team and blah, blah, blah, that kind of work I was going to do and moving into corporate.
Speaker 1 00:28:07 But I never really was brave enough to ever question whatever salary they offered me, you know? And what I didn't realize then that I realized now is if you can negotiate, um, first of all, whatever offer they make you, chances are, it's not their best offer financially. And it's on the low end. It's probably like I'm quite the low end. So there's always going to be some wiggle room, right? Yeah. That's one. But the more important thing that I didn't realize is that that becomes your baseline. So any subsequent increase is going to be built off of that. Yeah. So it is. So you're perpetually going to play catch up because you're not going to be like a substantial, you know, increase for, in a lot of corporations. I mean, some corporations might be, but in some core, most corporations is usually, you know, like maybe two to 5% on average.
Speaker 1 00:29:12 And then, you know, if you do really well, like certain bonuses and all of that. So, so I think like, especially in my first job and my second job, you know, I, it was funny. I actually like, even when I moved companies, I never negotiated, but I just wasn't brave enough. Like it would scare me to think, oh, but this is such a cool job. Like, you know, cause I would always switch like to something that I was really interested in. I was so excited by getting that, that I pull, but I don't want to jeopardize anything. What if they get mad or whatever, and this is something that now I know is the stupidest thing I could have thought. And if I could go back in time and tell the younger me and that said, Hey, listen, what's the worst thing that's going to happen.
Speaker 1 00:30:06 They're going to say no. Right. But yeah, but the best thing is that, you know, you'll actually get what you're asking for, you know, and the chances are, you'll get some of what you're asking for, you know, would be the thing it's still a win-win and now I, and yeah, so it's something that I actually, every time, like if younger people, like if I have those career chats with the, with, you know, students or whatever, and that's one of my first pieces of advice that I give them, that I always say, you know what, uh, you know, be ready, but not like unreasonably, like don't, you know, if they give you like a hundred dollars, you're like, actually I'm not going to come in for less than a thousand. Yeah. It's not like don't be dumb, but be like, Hey, you know, um, I was actually thinking 120 or 110, like whatever.
Speaker 1 00:30:59 Right. Yeah. I guess that also comes with, like, I see this is like, this is wisdom that comes with age because like, I, I think that because you wanted the job so badly, like you felt that you were like, you were coming from a position of less power, less power. And so, um, and you feel like you didn't have the leverage that you needed in order to actually get what you want. Right. So, um, yeah. And I think that, and I, and I think that like companies management, whatever, like I think that they bank on that in order to, you know, keep their salaries kind of low because they're just kind of like, oh, you know, th these young ones think that like this, like this job is like the be all and end all. And then, you know, and then, and then they're really nervous to kind of mess things up because that they're coming from a position of such little power.
Speaker 1 00:31:53 Um, you know, so then, yeah. And I wonder if it's like, well, I mean, I just sometimes wonder if there's like a cultural or gender bias fetch to that too, you know, that, but, um, but I w for me, definitely because even if I had asked my parents or whatever, or my family, you know, like as in my culture, you know, within my culture, I think that culturally for sure that there was an element of like, oh my gosh, Sam, like, don't be silly. Right. It's important that you get the job, you know, versus, um, hold on, hold out for more money. You're more perks or more benefits or whatever. Yeah, exactly. And I didn't know, you could negotiate like other things, like more vacations and things like that. And I'm like, I know in some companies you can actually negotiate for like stocks and stuff like that.
Speaker 1 00:32:58 Right. Like, especially in it. Yeah. Sometimes, I mean, I did get lucky, like even in my first job, they gave me stock options and I'm it or not, I didn't actually know what to do with them. And then investing, it was really funny. Like three years later, I find out that they're worth like, whoa, you know? And I'm like, why didn't I just keep adding to those, you know, all stuff that you kind of learn in hindsight. But yeah, I would say is probably one of my other mistakes. Yeah. And I can see like, especially like, you know, if you're, if you're, if you're, if you're an immigrant to a country, like it's hard and especially it's hard being like a first-generation immigrant, because like, you can't really ask your family for any advice, because they don't really know, especially if it's like a, um, industry that they have no, um, knowledge of, like, you can't actually rely on any of their learned experience because it's just like, they, they don't know the cult.
Speaker 1 00:34:10 Like they don't know the kind of like when our parents immigrated, like my dad, like this is what, 30 years ago, you know? And, and, and, um, like when they, like, when he immigrated here, um, or we immigrated and, um, yeah, there was like no awareness of some of the nuances of some of these things. Like, he, he he's always been good with his money, but I think I also come from a culture where cash is king. Do you know what I mean? So liquid, liquid, liquid, um, you have enough, like, so you feel comfortable that the rest of it is distributed between real estate is the first investment. And then it's the other types of investments. And I heard the real estate was my other mistake <inaudible> but yeah. So I think like, um, I just didn't really, like, I think growing up, um, I didn't actually think about money as, as strategically as I should have.
Speaker 1 00:35:22 Yeah. Yeah. I kind of learned like bits from my father, like, cause okay. That's the one thing like in my family, we don't, we like, we semi talk about well money, but not really money. Yeah, exactly. So you kind of like hear overhear things like, you know, that your parents are doing, but like, you kind of learn from them like by osmosis, but you don't actually like discuss them. Right. So like, I mean, I know like the one thing that's good is like my father, like when I was 10, like he opened up a savings. Like he went like, you know, took me to the bank and he was like, let's open up a savings account, you know? Like, so like, you know, I learned about interest and all these things, like, so you learn about like the basics and then like, you know yeah.
Speaker 1 00:36:06 And then like, you kind of glean that like land is key. Like if you have a piece of land, this is worth a lot. Right. Gold, gold is the other one. And then like, and then the other thing, and then you do buy stocks. Like, so like I knew that my father had stocks and things, but like all, but the thing is like, all you end up hearing is when they do badly, but you don't actually hear about anything about how to invest or like, you know, when you should sell when you should like, whatever, none of that.
Speaker 1 00:36:38 Yeah. Yeah, exactly. It's always when the market has a downturn and then like you've lost some money and then suddenly all it gets kind of like talked about, it's just like, oh God, this crash. It was just like, okay. But let me see. I think, I wonder if this is why I have this anxiety around it, because I'm just like, oh, if you invest in stocks, things will come back. Oh, that's all you hear. Right. You never hear about the good times when you've actually made money on things. You just hear the bad things. I'm just like, oh no. If I put my name to this stocks, it'll definitely get lost.
Speaker 1 00:37:12 Oh my God, I have issues clearly. Like I'm sure any psychiatrists out there would be like, yeah, we need to chat. <inaudible> tell you this though. Um, if you are good about investing, saving, um, switch sounds like you are. Um, and uh, you know, then make sure you get as high an interest out of it as possible. And I know, I know planner would be delighted to get a call for me. Actually. I know, I know. Oh my goodness. I feel so bad for him. He like, he occasionally texts. He's like we chatted a month ago. What are you thinking about doing? I'm like, I'm like ghosting him. Cause I really don't want to deal with this right now. We're guys, you know what though? For all my talk and stuff, I actually have to get better about a number of those things, because like you, I do have any emotional spending pattern, um, which yeah. We forgot to talk about your emotional spending. Patty. I'm very curious. Cause like you hate shopping. But um, what I do spend a lot on is convenience and what I mean by that is especially with food and notebooks.
Speaker 1 00:38:39 I, I mean like all those life planners, you know, whether you talk about happy planner, Aaron Conran passion planner, um, holy shit. And I usually order them all. Um, and it's not like I'm going shopping, shopping. I just, I, I just know which one I want kind of a thing. Right? Like it's like, um, and I sit with my jewelry. I already know it's like with your jewelry. Exactly. And, and what happens is I feel every time I'm stuck and I'm feeling stuck or, or some stagnant or somehow crappy, I feel, look, if I order a new planner or a new notebook and it doesn't have to be like, I have to order it. It's like sometimes, like I have so many that I can just pull one out, but I just love that feeling of a brand new start. And I feel like this is it. This is going to be the time that I'm going to kick start a new life and be a new person. And everything is miraculously going to get organized into this little binder pages. And I will be better. Life will be better. And, uh, so my indulgence is, happens to be stationary. So it'll be like that the journals or, or a beautiful fountain pen or the stickers on, on the, for the journals, you know?
Speaker 1 00:40:07 So that's like my biggest, um, thing and, and food, like I will pay for convenience. So the more often you see Uber eats and door dash on my credit card statements. Oh, that's when, you know, you've had a bad month. So there's an element of convenience for sure. Right. Where I'm like, I don't want to do dishes and I don't want to clean, but the frequency of it. So you can sort of see like, oh my gosh, like she ordered breakfast, lunch and dinner. And then there was a snack thrown in there sometimes because I couldn't decide if I wanted, you know, Asian Italian or pizza, like whatever. Right. I'll actually order both.
Speaker 1 00:40:51 Um, yeah. And it's not like I'll finish eating it. So then it's wasted. So there is that. So yeah, that's one of my emotional spending patterns is interesting. Like I will always want that fresh start through stationary and usually it's a book or a journal or a pen or I will, or end not work and I will order food. It's funny because I think that like what we buy kind of like functions similarly, because even though yours is like notebooks and like convenience, like my, and mine is like jewelry and makeup. Like I think it's, it's coming from the same place, which is like, it will somehow change transform my life. Like it's like, I think that, like, I think that like the jewelry and the makeup, it just like a little bit of it's symbolic of like glamour and like, and like a little bit of like, uh, like another person or like a different, a different facet of you or just like something more like, it's just, yeah.
Speaker 1 00:41:53 It just, it's just like, yeah. Like some, it's not like I want to be a completely different person, but I just want like something about life to change. You know what I mean? It's just, it's, it's interesting. Yeah. See, whereas like notebooks would never would freak me out. Cause I think like the thought of like having to fill one up or like just looking at it and just succeeding, like my to-do list, like keep growing. Like I think it would just, I love like, you know, like, um, oh my gosh. Like I look at the co you know, the, the, the width of the lines, uh, weather, and then I decide if I want dotted or plain or lined or, you know, uh, the size of the journal. Like, I'm like, okay, when do I want this for, do I want a little pocket version?
Speaker 1 00:42:40 Do I want like a slim one? Do I want pull out pages? Like, yeah, like that process, like, you know how you're like, oh, from top to finish, like, I find it a soothing process planning. Like I put so much thought into my nationally word condos, but I actually do find the joy as soon as I have it in my hand really. Oh, I wonder why that is not the same level. Like yes, I use for my real life. And so, you know, I have a work planner, I have a, you know, thinky planners, social one, like whatever. I had one for budgets and one for recipes and one for it, you know, like I do all those kinds of things. Okay. So those are the useful ones, but I also have a whole stack of notebooks and things where I genuinely don't know what to do because I thought I had plans, but I do, but I never executed on them there for another day.
Speaker 1 00:43:49 My money mistakes, if you will, are, are, you know, sort of tied to like those stagnant moments of my life or areas of my life that I should probably work on, you know, standing like, you know, $75 on like this 40 page planner, you know, maybe I should have just used that and like donated into something or used it for like, I don't know, something different, you know? Yeah. Yeah. That's something more practical or something I'm like, it's on my shelf right now. I'm like ordered like four books and read them. I know. See, I think my problem is like, yeah. So I guess I don't. Okay. Yeah. So I guess my problem is similar to yours in the sense that like, I, like, I have all this jewelry, it makes me happy because I still remember them all. So even if I don't actually am, like, if I'm not wearing them, like, I'm just like, oh, I know I have this ring.
Speaker 1 00:44:50 And I like it because of this, that and the other or whatever. But the problem for me is like, it collects because you can't wear it all. Like you can't all the time. Right. Or, or at the same time or anything. Right. So I, I dunno like it, and especially with the pandemic, there aren't that many functions, so it's not like you can just be like, oh, I'm just gonna wear this like really blimey, like, you know, like whatever ring, you know? So, um, yeah. So I think that gives me like the Pang of disappointment. Cause you're just like, I want to wear this, but I have nowhere to wear, but that, that's just more of a pandemic issue. Right. And the world is opening up fingers crossed and you know, things start happening again. And I've known you for a while and, and you you're, you're always dressed to the nines. So it's not, he might not be able to wear things all at once, but you'll have plenty of occasions to rotate them.
Speaker 1 00:45:49 I know. I know. Well, yeah, I think, I think that's part, part of me. I think maybe now that I'm older, I should just like embrace this. I'm just going to be one of those women that just wears jewelry that is not appropriate for an event. Like I'm just going to do it. I'm the stag. This makes me happy. I don't know, appropriate for an event. You know what I mean? Like, I don't know, like something that's like, you know, you're going to like a casual thing and you're just wearing like some like really gaudy piece of jewelry. Like I just, I'm just going to like, not care. I'm like, I'm just going to do it. Whatever makes you like, you know, uh, I know we were talking about money, mistakes, but honestly, it's, it's just a way to sort of recognize how far you've come and how you've evolved and grown right.
Speaker 1 00:46:32 Through them, through your money decisions. Like what, and also recognize who you are through what you spend your money on. Um, you know, like your jewelry and your makeup, because you actually enjoy social events and doing those kinds of things and, and, you know, so that notion of you, uh, it's not a lie. No, no, I know. I think this is also why, like, I know we mentioned this like way, way, way back of my day when this pod first started, but like, you know, this is why I think I get, so what's the, like, what's the word like so irritable when it comes to like, you know, these like do's and don'ts of like what to wear and what not to wear, like when you're older, because yeah, because especially with the makeup situation, because I'm just kind of like, I want to wear like crazy colors and like, I don't like being told that I can't wear it in my forties, you know? So like, um, yeah. Cause it makes me happy, you know what I mean? So, yeah. Hey, you know, my philosophy just for them.
Speaker 1 00:47:38 Exactly. Exactly. I know, I know things are changing. I think things are changing, but at the same time, like, um, yeah, like I think that's why I don't like, I don't like rules being put on things. Like if they make no sense, like, just because some people just like doing things because you know, it brings them joy. So let them be joyful. But anyway, interesting. It's interesting that uh, yeah, I, uh, I, I do realize I still have some work to do like around finances. Like I think I'm just, uh I'm and I also just, I'd like to think that it isn't too late, you know, like that's the other thing that I find like a lot of finance, um, articles seem to, um, I don't know if they try to scare you into it or something, but they're always like, oh, if you had done this in your twenties, you wouldn't better.
Speaker 1 00:48:35 And it's just like, you just have, probably have to tighten it. You like, if you don't have a certain amount saved for your retirement, are you going to be in trouble? Probably. You know, you know, how, how much longer after your retirement are you gonna be living and how much money do you think you'll need and you kind of have half that much. Right. Um, so I think those articles are, I think I just take them with a grain of salt, like, because all it's telling me is to make sure that I'm ready for the retirement and, uh, life. And, and I adjust my expectations. So if I want to continue living like today, I have to figure out a way to save more. But if I can, I'm willing to cut it back and say, actually, I'm just going to live like, you know, oh, in the teepee Hudson, in a remote island somewhere, you know, or a straw hut or, you know, whatever, uh, somewhere then, um, I might need less, it might cost, you know?
Speaker 1 00:49:38 So just basically telling you think about what you actually want in your future and knowing since you know that I'm not an island person, if it's too hot about an island near Iceland, <inaudible>, you know, I probably wouldn't. So I'd probably be, I know, I know. And that's the other thing is that like, um, you know, you, you read a lot about these fire investors or whatever. Um, yeah, I know you do cause like I know you follow a bunch of them on, uh, like on YouTube and things like that. So, um, but like, and I think, I mean, good for them. I always find I'm like good for you. I'm really glad that you were able to retire early and like live the life that you want. But then sometimes I look at their lives and I'm like, I can't live on 30,000 a year. I'm sorry.
Speaker 1 00:50:41 Like just like my life, like my lifestyle that I'm like living right now. I'm like living in Toronto, like, and I like Toronto, like I think that's the thing. It's just like, I'm not saying you can't live on 30,000 a year, but then for me to do that, it would mean I would have to like downsize, like live in a different city. Like it just like, it involves like a huge life shift. And I'm just like, I don't think I can do this right now. So yeah. Fire is not for everyone. Right? Like it's um, and I think that there's a new awareness of that, um, stand for what does it stand for them? It's a, oh my gosh. Retire early. So no, that's the part that I remember the retire early independent, I think retire early. Okay. Yeah. Yep. Um, uh, retirement early or financial something.
Speaker 1 00:51:32 Yeah. It's like financial independence retire early or something like that. Yeah. But there's a version of it now that is basically recognizing a, you don't actually have to retire early because a lot of people, what they do is they actually spend that time to do other things that they actually like so retire. What they mean is retire from the jobs that they're not enjoying. And then second or third careers in like whatever they do like to do. Right. So that's one thing. And then also some other people are like, okay, we don't want to be so extreme. Um, or have such, um, like a targeted date of retirement, but no. So we will be a little bit more like, it doesn't have to be so lean, you know, to get in. They're not going to save like 90% of their income, you know? Um, so there'll be like, okay, maybe we'll save 30 or 35% of my income, um, to do that.
Speaker 1 00:52:29 And then just work a little longer. So I think that's like, uh, there's like different things, but I do have to admit that I love watching, uh, those kinds of shows or reading those kinds of books, because I love the thought process of seeing how people prioritize, what actually matters in their life and how interesting. Yeah. Right. Because like you said, like for you, the thing is if you were to sort of say, oh my gosh, I'm just never going to buy jewelry again. That's just not being true to who you are. Yeah. Ever since I've known you, you've always had like interesting pieces. You enjoy them. Like you don't even need other people to know about them, you know? Yeah. Hey guys, you haven't seen my new ring. Right.
Speaker 1 00:53:16 But you genuinely like so much joy and pairing it up with the right outfit or whatever that is. Right. It's part of who are. So it makes no sense not to actually indulge that when you can, you know, like responsibly, it doesn't make sense not to indulge that at all. Like, you know, it's like, oh, I'm going to do that when I'm 90 or a hundred. It's like, yeah. But you could have also enjoyed a little bit of it when you were 40, you know? So, so I think it's just about balance. But then for some people like, you know, me, like until like Taz or some of the other girls like mentioned you have a new ring or a new whatever, I'm always like, huh?
Speaker 1 00:53:57 I didn't notice any jewelry. Exactly. And that's fine. Cause that's who you are. And I like makeup. So when you do it nicely, I'm like, Ooh, that's a nice lipstick. See exactly, exactly. I know. I know. And that's the thing is just like, I don't even do it for other people to notice. I just do it because it just makes me feel happy. Like, and like even during the pandemic, it's so funny. Like even though I was wearing masks all the time, I would still wear lipstick underneath. No one's seeing it. No one sees it, but I know that it's there. And I like the color, like, you know, like I would just do it every day. I would like, even like sometimes I wouldn't even do eye makeup. I would just like, I would literally have be, have nothing. Like I have nothing on my face, but I would have lipstick and then I would cover it up with a mask.
Speaker 1 00:54:54 Makes no sense. But like I would do well. So the lesson for today's discussion is that, you know, being responsible with your money, if you, you know, take stock of what, the, how you spent your money in your younger years so that you can, you know, correct for them in your, in your, um, if, if they didn't go, if you didn't invest that in, I guess, things that matter to you. But so, you know, you were like, oh my gosh, my emotional spending, but I'm like, yeah, but you actually do it responsibly. Right. So terrible. It is. Yeah. No, actually I I'll, I'll correct that I, I don't think I was that responsible in my twenties, but I think that like, I cribbed it when I got, when I got older, like yeah. Like how did I do that? Yeah. Like I think, I think I just took stock of it.
Speaker 1 00:55:55 I was just like, oh my God, like you're spending way too much money on this stuff. Like, yeah. Like just stop, you know, like doing this. I think I did recognize I was doing it emotionally. And it was just like, you don't really need this. Yeah. And I'll assumed within my limits versus taking on debt for it. Yeah, exactly. And I think that's what you need to be aware of. Right. Same thing here. Like I think I took stock of it. I didn't actually start even saving until I was in my thirties. You know, I just wasn't about it. And same thing, like, you know, between student loans and credit card debt, I was like, eh, life's going to be okay. And then until one day, I don't know, like something just went like, oh my gosh. You know? And then all of a sudden it was like, you know, yeah, this is becomes your new project.
Speaker 1 00:56:42 And then you needed a new notebook, whole new notebook. Yeah. And then I told into do finance, right? Like, I'm like, oh my gosh, this is what it means. This is what happens. This is why didn't, you know, like we need to do this. And so yeah. But you're right. Like I think that, you know, um, it's, it's, it's about moving forward I think. And failing forward. Yeah. Yeah. I know. That's how I feel. I feel like I'm feeling forward in the sense that like, I mean, I, I know that I'm not, like I know like I'm not at my peak financial level, but like, it's just, it'll just take some work. Like I, I think I do recognize that I have some emotional issues around finances and I should just like take like, do some work on them and like try to get in better financial shape. But it's an ongoing process. I'm wondering if there's any financial therapists it should be right? Yes.
Speaker 1 00:57:36 I know. I know that would be like a really, it would be like a really interesting niche where you have like a psychology degree and you know, finance. Yeah. And then you can like meld the two and like help people. Super cool. Actually, to be something around those yeah, I think so. And if not, we call dibs, we deserve three treatments. I know, I know. And or we will, we'll set up our own finance therapy company. Um, not just the patients, you know? No, sorry. We're not just the founders. We're also patients. Exactly. Anyway, on that note, um, I think we should probably call this an episode. Um, so I, I don't know how informational that was for everybody, but anyway, we, we had fun discussing our financial mishaps, but, um, anyway, yeah, I do want to know what they think, um, because I'm pretty sure people have, uh, things that they wish they had done differently with when it comes to money.
Speaker 1 00:58:54 Yeah, for sure. Because if not, then what the fuck. No, exactly the right thing to do. So tell us that too, you know exactly. If you figured it out, please give us information because I want to learn. I really need to know. Yeah. And then, um, and yeah, so just, uh, hit us up on social and let us know. And then, um, or email us that does this make me look
[email protected] and you can us on our website, does this make me look old.com? Did I say that right? I always mix them up, but anyway. Okay. Um, okay. And, uh, yeah,
Speaker 2 00:59:29 So until next week. Bye bye.
