Speaker 1 00:00:06 Hi, and welcome to season two of does this make me look old, a podcast about aging as gracefully as possible when you're just not ready or too
Speaker 2 00:00:14 Middle aged friends, one middle-aged friend and one friend who seems to be diluted about her age, who wants to discuss topics around aging as they're starting to become more relevant to us, whether one wants to admit that to themselves or not.
Speaker 1 00:00:29 Yes, well I'm SIM and anthropologist at heart Dory from finding Nemo in spirit and basically never going to be the type to Everett
Speaker 2 00:00:38 Mitsubishi. And I'm a chef, a physician interested in the science and medicine around aging, but also interested in how society and the media look at aging. And if that means that I have to take the hit by reading gossip, blogs to find out I will do so
Speaker 1 00:00:51 This season, we channel our love for pop culture and learning and talk about shows, books, people, everything, all through the lens of getting
Speaker 2 00:01:00 We'll be covering topics such as how sexuality changes as you age aging as a disease, and even how sex and the city approaches aging. Now that Carrie is in her fifties
Speaker 1 00:01:09 Throughout it all. We chat Lance and laugh, but our own adult illness.
Speaker 2 00:01:14 So join us as we navigate our second quarter-life crisis. Welcome to this week's episode of does this make me look, all old seminars are here and we are going to talk about a very interesting topic because it's the new year
Speaker 1 00:01:34 I love you
Speaker 2 00:01:34 Years know. Yeah, I remember we were talking about it last episode, which man, I still don't totally get that. Okay. I was thinking about it actually. I was thinking about it after you said it and I was just like, huh, it's funny how people have different like different favorite holidays. Cause mine's Christmas. I love Christmas
Speaker 1 00:01:56 Too. But
Speaker 2 00:01:57 Yeah. And like it's funny that yours is new year's Eve. Cause like I always found that new year's Eve was so disappointing, like so disappointing. You'd like you had all these expectations for like, I don't know, for some reason, like you just thought something magical was going to happen and new year's Eve and then like, it never did. And it was just like, oh, it's just another day. New year's day shows up and it's just another day.
Speaker 1 00:02:24 So you're right. I love Christmas too. I actually also really, really love Thanksgiving. Um, and, and you know, Canada date. I really love that too. Um,
Speaker 2 00:02:36 So you basically multiply. Oh my goodness. Okay. I do.
Speaker 1 00:02:44 But what I love about new year's Eve it, do you hear that? Is it just me?
Speaker 2 00:02:51 What? I don't hear anything. Oh,
Speaker 1 00:02:55 I'm not going crazy
Speaker 2 00:02:58 Or maybe I'm gaslighting. No, I truly, I don't hear anything,
Speaker 1 00:03:05 Whatever. Um, yeah, I'm just going to protect, see, this is why I hate watching horror stuff. Um, which, or that scene was horror.
Speaker 2 00:03:15 Oh my goodness. Okay. So sorry for the long diatribe, but like, okay. Just to explain offline's seminar, we're talking about the new season of the Witcher and she's mad at me because I didn't warn her that he was hunting scary monsters. And I was like, that's what season one was. And she doesn't remember anything from season one, except for the bathtub scene.
Speaker 1 00:03:37 It's been my defense. He looked amazing. And yeah, he just looked at me and say, season one was 10,000 years ago.
Speaker 2 00:03:51 Yeah. Yeah. I will give you that. It was a long time ago or feels like a long time ago now, but yeah. Um, okay. Sorry that I think that was a very long tangent, but all this to say that it's a new year and because it's a new year,
Speaker 1 00:04:08 We often make.
Speaker 2 00:04:11 Okay. W w we'll debate about that later. Okay. Um, and so because of that, a lot of us make new year's Eve resolutions or new year's resolutions. Sorry. And, uh, yeah, so that's what we were going to talk about was, uh, new year's resolutions and yeah. Our attitudes around them, what we do do we, do we make them, do we don't make them, you know,
Speaker 1 00:04:35 To, uh, you
Speaker 2 00:04:35 Make them, I do not ever
Speaker 1 00:04:38 Like have no.
Speaker 2 00:04:40 Yeah. So I used to make them when I was younger. See, yeah. And then I just, so then I used to make them when I was younger, like, you know, just like mentally, you'd just be like, okay, this year I'm going to X, Y, Z like X, Y, Z, you know, but then, but now I just don't bother making them because I feel like you S like, I set myself up for failure with them. And then, um, and then it just makes me feel bad. So I was just like, Ugh, just don't just live your life
Speaker 1 00:05:10 The other day in any other year.
Speaker 2 00:05:12 Exactly. Exactly. So, yeah. Which is something I'm also coming to grips with as I age, because yeah. Like, so going back to this whole, like new year's Eve new year's day being like some sort of special transition, like, I feel like it really isn't anymore. Like, yeah. I'm just becoming more jaded as I get older, I feel like it's just the same old stuff.
Speaker 1 00:05:33 Let me okay. Here's the thing. So I think what I love about this is it's like any new beginning, it's like, it's like the calendar version of like, when you have a fresh new notebook, you know what I mean?
Speaker 2 00:05:48 I know this is why you like them, because when you said that you really like new year's day, I was like, it's because she gets new calendars and new notebooks.
Speaker 2 00:05:58 I was like, you know what, all of a sudden, I think it's the most optimistic I feel okay. Hands down. Um it's but, but I also love new beginnings in general, so I don't mind Monday mornings. So I like, I hate Sunday evenings, but I, Monday mornings, I like the first of a month. I like my birthday because to me that's my own personal new year, you know? And I don't know, it just feels like it's, it's just some kind of positive energy and positive vibes around it. I know it sounds hokey to your scientific brain. I get that. I know I'm just like, okay, but that's good. I mean, at least it gives you the optimism to go to go forward, you know? So then yeah. That's like, it's so you find it helps you that way.
Speaker 1 00:06:52 I don't know if it helps me. I just like it. I mean, by week two, I'm still, I'm already annoyed and, you know, speaking of resolutions, um, I think when I was younger, I did the same thing where I would set up these, um, grants, resolutions, you know, for my, yeah. Oh, I think it's just my own echo anyway.
Speaker 2 00:07:19 Okay. Okay. Oh, that's what you're hearing. You're hearing the feedback or something.
Speaker 1 00:07:23 Okay. So, um, anyway, so for me, the resolutions tended to be like, you know, very specific, very, um, grand plans for the year, right? Like I was going to do X and I was going to do Y but now as I'm getting older, I find that I don't make specific resolutions so much as like, basically clarify my intentions for the year, like as an so it's kind of like, you know, the Christmas. So I love Christmas, but the weird few days between Christmas and new year's Eve yeah. Boxing day and new year's Eve, it's like, when you're really not sure what day it is, what time it is, everything shut down the entire world's shut down. Like, I feel like there's nothing really to do or nothing really to think about. It's like, that's my reflective time reflection. And so I find like I always ended up taking stock of what my year was like and how I feel and, you know, and then going forward how I would want to like what I would want to change or do or achieve that kind of a thing. And so I find like I've moved away from specific resolutions and specific goals to more intentions, if that makes sense.
Speaker 2 00:08:45 Okay. Uh, okay. So it's not okay. So just so can you, um, I guess what's the word I'm looking for? Like, you actually give specifics around that.
Speaker 1 00:08:57 Yeah. Like rather than like say, oh, you know what, this year I'm going to lose 20 pounds because every fucking year I need to lose number keeps getting higher and higher clearly that's like the biggest failure of them. All right. Whereas this year I, you know, I'm, I'm telling myself that I'm like, I'm just thinking more along the lines of, you know, what I want to use the word enrich or enriching in my life more often. So it has nothing to do with a specific number on my scale or anything else it's more to do with living my life in a way that enriches me. Right. Like, um, and, um, whatever that ends up being. So if I'm doing, if I'm going out or I'm trying to learn something, or I'm spending more time with people, like I want it to be enriching to me if that's okay. Um, it's, the focus is more on like, oh, I want to live a more meaningful life. I want to live a little bit more, you know, like a healthier life, that kind of a thing versus I want to lose 27 pounds. It's actually 30.
Speaker 2 00:10:13 It keeps getting like, as we speak,
Speaker 1 00:10:20 I am rounding down.
Speaker 2 00:10:24 Oh my goodness. Okay. So then
Speaker 1 00:10:25 I feel like if I write down the number and then I fail, that hurts way more than if I say, oh, I want to be healthier, you know, in my life. Yeah. And then that way, I feel like the things that I do do that leads to a more healthier lifestyle. Um, at least I can celebrate those, right. Like the first year I did this, like where I'm like, Ooh, I wanna start. And I learned how to like, and now I love Brussels sprouts the first year that I loved them. I was like, so proud of myself Until I was in my thirties to actually like brussel sprouts.
Speaker 2 00:11:07 Yeah. Well, I mean, it depends how they're made. Right. They're quite an acquired taste and yeah, well, yeah. At least like nowadays people know how to make them properly
Speaker 1 00:11:18 And just boiling and mashing them into like little blobs of like grocery lists.
Speaker 2 00:11:25 Yeah, exactly. So then I guess the question is, is that, um, so do you feel you're a T that you're attaining ear resolutions more now if by using that switch?
Speaker 1 00:11:37 Um, yeah, I think so, because I think what this forces me to do is reframe my brain. Right. Because then it becomes, um, the focus becomes on whether or not I applied those intentions to my life. So those lists, that list might be right. And, and, um, in general, I find that yes, I did, or I do. Um, you know, and, and, and it's funny because I feel like it's one of those things that like, the changes are so subtle and so slow, but over time you start recognizing it more as, um, it's almost like it becomes a part of your personality and who you are as opposed to an, a tangible achievement. Um, you know, like, um, one year when I was like that whole healthier lifestyle thing, um, at the time I think I was like, Ooh, I want to be, um, uh, I started, I used to wake up around six or seven before, but then I started waking up at five so that I could go running, um, you know, all of that, like the running has stopped, but my, that habit of being an early riser to be a little bit more productive in whatever shape or form that has still remained with me.
Speaker 1 00:12:59 Right. So it's kind of like those kinds of things, like where, you know, not all of it may stick, but enough does to transform who I am and keep me, you know, like, just add to, I guess my traits
Speaker 2 00:13:16 okay. Hm. Okay, cool. So then what resolutions did you make this year?
Speaker 1 00:13:24 Oh yeah. No, let's, let's ignore that one
Speaker 2 00:13:30 Because you didn't make any of this.
Speaker 1 00:13:35 No. One of them is, is essentially to you, you know, to apply the word enrich to most of my experiences in that one, for sure. Um, there are few others around my desire to lead a little bit more of a balanced life. And I say this because, and the reason I don't want to say the specifics is because this concept of work-life balance is something very, very new to me. And I almost cringe at it because I feel like I used to not understand what cause I love having a job. And I love having my career is very important to me. So I think before I used to sort of dismiss the concept of it, but now I think I'm trying to learn, or remember that, you know, wanting a little bit of a balance, there does not mean anything negative about your, you know, career aspirations and things like that.
Speaker 2 00:14:40 yeah. I mean, it's funny that you say that about work-life balance. Cause I, I don't know. I remember like, and this is like maybe 10, not even 10 years ago, maybe five, seven years ago on Olin. Cause maybe it is 10. Um, but like, yeah, I remember people would talk about work-life balance, but you know, it would always talk about it. It would be women. It was really annoying actually. Like you would see it.
Speaker 1 00:15:06 Yeah. And that's my, I think I shied away from it so much.
Speaker 2 00:15:10 Oh, interesting. I was just annoyed that they, there weren't men talking about work-life balance. I didn't shy away from the concept. Cause I thought it was important, but I just found it annoying that like women had to talk about it because they often that, you know, and they often couched it in terms of family because, you know, they had, they had kids and they had to like, you know, kind of juggle like family life with their career. But then as you say, where, where are the men talking about this? Like, why is this solely a woman's like, why is it solely a woman's domain? And they never, they never said it was a woman's only domain. They left it genderless when they would talk about it. But it was always the women that we're talking about. And that annoyed me. I was just like, um, yeah, this is never going to happen if men aren't part of the conversation because I, if agreed, like if men don't believe in work-life balance, then it's never going to happen.
Speaker 1 00:16:04 Like they didn't need to. Right.
Speaker 2 00:16:07 Because the women were taking care of it for them. It was like super fucking annoying. Anyway, but yeah. So
Speaker 1 00:16:14 Yeah. It's funny. You should say that because it's like, I did kind of shy away from it. Not because, but like, I don't know if I actually realized the importance of it either. I think I viewed it more as a weakness almost. Um, because, and it's, it's, it's, you know, those conditioning, I guess, you know, where it's kind of like, why would I want to, like work is work home is home work is a part of your life. So what is the separation of church and state kind of a thing. And I, and I, and I still don't agree with separating the two necessarily because it almost implies that I'm bringing a different person. Like I'm a different person when I go to work, versus when I am at home. Like if that's what it feels like sometimes when people are saying this, or this is just my job or this is, you know, my home life and, uh, you know, and it's almost like as though you're not the real you at work, whereas I feel like I am, but I think I recognize the need to distinguish between the two so that I can rest and, and switch and, and not just focus all my energies on one aspect or be drained by the end of the day, because I just didn't have time to recover from work, if that makes sense.
Speaker 2 00:17:44 Yeah.
Speaker 1 00:17:45 And this was all Penn panic induced reflection, really.
Speaker 2 00:17:52 So you never, but you never thought you needed a downtime.
Speaker 1 00:17:57 It's not that I didn't think I needed downtime. I just didn't understand what people meant by work-life balance. Like I felt like while I work hard, but I played hard and I am, I'm having fun, you know? And um, like I just didn't understand the concept of balance. Like I don't know if it was a function of me being younger and having just a lot of energy and like where I was at my time, but, you know, I would work crazy hours, then I would go out and party and you know, I would hang out with my friends. I would do all these things to travel. So I didn't really feel the need for a balance of sorts. Whereas now I feel like mentally, I do like, I need a little bit of downtime, um, where, before, I don't know, like my downtime, I didn't feel like a distinct need for downtime because I felt like all the other stuff that I was able to do gave me that.
Speaker 1 00:18:59 So maybe if the pandemic ends and I can go back to me being my little bit more of my extroverted self, where, you know, right after work, we can go back to like, Hey, let's go out for dinner and drinks and take a break here. And I'm not working 24 7 without all the other stuff. Like the going out, the hanging, you know, like doing things and events, maybe I'll revert back to how I was before. But during the pandemic though, I just felt like all I did was work and there was nothing else. Right. And so that's when I think I just realized that, oh my gosh, um, maybe I do need this balance thing in my life. And so I'm trying to be more mindful of that because last year I feel like I was, and we talked about this, right? Like I was going towards a little bit more of a burnout, like definite burnout situation.
Speaker 1 00:19:52 So in order to preempt that this year, I'm trying to consciously, you know, step back, um, after a certain number of hours or build in, um, moments in my day where I can just, you know, detach emotionally from work and then focus on something else that makes me happy. Right. Uh, work makes me happy, but it's, you can't be on adrenaline 24 7. Right. You need something else that brings you joy just to take your mind off of something. And, um, so you know, this year in keeping with that, I think I'm just trying to sort of be mindful and build in those moments throughout my day. Hmm.
Speaker 2 00:20:36 Okay. Yeah. That makes sense. I mean, I guess it's probably because you already were like balancing your life with like outings, which you can't do anymore.
Speaker 1 00:20:49 Yeah. So maybe that's what it is, but oh my gosh, I sound more serious than I intend to. So let's go back. I think we're kind of curious. So do you not make any subconscious decisions like that? Like you may not call them resolutions, but like in the beginning of the year, like you don't think, oh, this year I'd like to do or maybe have a little bit more of
Speaker 2 00:21:16 Now. Not really like, yeah, no, I don't usually, like, I think, I, I think it's because I'm making, like, I'm making those internal decisions throughout the year anyways, so it doesn't really like, there's nothing special about the new year that makes it like, yeah. Like I just don't feel like there's anything in the new year that necessarily, like, it's not a marker of anything. Do you know what I mean? Because like, yeah, like, yeah. Cause I just end up yeah. I just make, I just make decisions to do things about like, whether it's my health or it's like, um, like career things, like I just end up doing it kind of throughout the year. So it doesn't really, yeah. I don't think about it as a resignation
Speaker 1 00:21:58 For the new year or new agenda or anything like that.
Speaker 2 00:22:02 No, no, no. Well, the thing is, is like it's P it's also because I have like long term I often have, I often think like several years into the future. So like, anything that I do is usually towards like longterm goals anyway. So I think that's probably part of the reason too. Like I just don't really feel the need to.
Speaker 1 00:22:24 And when did that switch happen? Like when did you start kind of,
Speaker 2 00:22:31 Yeah. I mean, I don't, I don't remember. I just, I do. I just remember that, like when I was younger, you know, like you just hear about people making new year's resolutions and you're like, oh, maybe, you know, maybe I should do that too, but then it just ended up becoming, um, again. Yeah. I just, I think it didn't help my mental health in some ways. Cause you're just like, oh, I didn't get to do this. So then I just, I just, yeah, I left it by the wayside and I don't know when that changed. I don't remember, but like I haven't been doing it for years.
Speaker 1 00:23:01 I'm just smiling because I just realized it's probably because you were, you know, like you're one of those people, like you're so I'm like, okay, if you set your mind to something, you have to achieve it. Right. You know, and cross that off of that, it's on a list. It needs to get checked.
Speaker 2 00:23:26 Exactly.
Speaker 2 00:23:30 I know. Yeah. It's funny. I have a task. I do have a task list. Like a, like just to keep track of like things that I need to get done. And if there's something that I meant to do that I didn't get done. It, it just fills me with such guilt. Like I hate it so much, but then like, yeah, but I'm starting to become a little bit more. Um, and I feel like this has been happening over the last few years. I become more, I've just become a bit more forgiving of myself. Like in the past I would be very upset at myself and I'd just be like, you know, and you kind of have this weird negative self-talk where you're like, you're such an idiot or you're such a loser. Like, why couldn't you get this done? Or like, you know, like, um, and then you start berating yourself because you're lazy, whatever, whatever. And then like, but then now I'm just like, look, it clearly wasn't a priority. Like don't like kind of like, let it go because yeah, you could, you could flagellate, you could self-flagellate for forever. And um, it's just like not productive. So
Speaker 1 00:24:30 That's funny because I think it's funny that we did for similar reasons, but we just did two different things. Right. Like, because for me it's the same thing. Like I think over time I've become a little bit more compassionate towards myself. And then, so the shift towards the intention was my way of dealing with that. Right. Where it's more like, what can I do more of rather than, you know, um, judge myself for things that I didn't do. Yeah. So, but you know, so it, it feels like you were thinking along the same lines, but you just approached it differently.
Speaker 2 00:25:10 Yeah, maybe. Yeah. Yeah. Except that, yeah. Like maybe you've just like changed the way you like talk about your resolutions. Like, whereas I just don't make them Worth my time.
Speaker 1 00:25:26 But the reason is name, I guess, is my point, you know, St. Journey where you're like, you know, as people we're just trying to sort of understand ourselves and be kinder to ourselves and learn how to, you know, accept who we are.
Speaker 2 00:25:41 Yeah, yeah, exactly. I know. Yeah. It's funny. I think, I think that is what I find interesting is that over time you start to become a little bit more, um, forgiving and compassionate towards yourself. It's funny. I find that, I find that weird in the sense that like you're harsher to yourself when you're younger. Um, and then like you kind of mellow out as you're older. I don't know. I don't know what that is. I don't know what that's about, but yeah,
Speaker 1 00:26:13 It's funny because I'm wondering if it's, if it's, if it's that we're being, becoming wiser and slash and or kinder or are we giving up?
Speaker 2 00:26:24 Yeah. I don't know. I don't know. It's yeah. It's more
Speaker 1 00:26:29 Versus a cynic, you know?
Speaker 2 00:26:31 I know. And like, maybe it's a bit of both, like maybe it's partly maybe the, the wiser component of it is that like, you just know when to cut your losses short. Um,
Speaker 1 00:26:41 I like that actually. Right.
Speaker 2 00:26:43 Um, cause you're just like, yeah, this isn't going to happen. Like don't waste your time on this. Like, you know, it's like, it's like the sunk cost fallacy where like in the past you would just say, continue to do, you know, continue to sink costs into something. But like maybe now the wiser part of you is just like, yeah, this isn't worth it. Just like get out while you gotta get out while the getting's good. Um, but yeah, maybe part of it is that you just give up, you're like, eh, but is that, is that, is that giving up, like would your 20 year old self see that as giving up where you're like, where you're like not into what, where you, where you don't buy into the sunk cost policy?
Speaker 1 00:27:19 Um, I don't know, actually it's a little bit too deep for this evening. Drunk enough. Like, I feel like we need a glass of wine in our hands when we're station.
Speaker 2 00:27:35 Yeah, exactly. Like, I don't know, like, it's kind of like how relationships work because you know how, like, I remember when I was younger, sometimes you'd look at people and you'd be like, oh, she's settling. But then like, now that I'm older, I'm like, no, I don't think they were settling. I think they knew what was good for them. And they just like went for it. But like, and you're just like, maybe you're just too stupid when you're 20.
Speaker 1 00:27:58 Talk about that. Like, are you asked you been in your forties as you are when you're 20 and in what ways you are and what ways you actually got wiser?
Speaker 2 00:28:10 Yeah, yeah, exactly. I mean, you could think about it the same way, right? Like, no, it's true. Like, is it like when you say give up or is that the same as seeing settling? Like, is it like, is that true or is that just because, you know, like now that you're older, you know what you should prioritize, right?
Speaker 1 00:28:28 No, that's true. You know, it's funny because I wonder as we were talking and you make no resolutions, I don't exactly make resolutions, but I usually write down a list of, you know, like I said, I intend to do this or intend to live my life by doing that, that kind of a thing. But I'm kind of curious, like the gamut in between, like how many people actually make actual resolutions, um, you know, and then how many people actually just maybe do a little more of a vision board kind of a thing. And you know, and how many actually do realize that, you know, like they're, they're smarter and they're like, yeah, we're not wasting our time creating a resolution.
Speaker 2 00:29:13 That's smart. It's just a different way of doing things. And she said, I have a question for you. So like, what do you do? You go back? Cause I know you keep track of everything in your little notebooks or whatever. Like, do you go back after the year or close to the end of year to see whether or not you have like, done what you wanted to,
Speaker 1 00:29:33 So it's funny, you should ask me that for someone who writes those things down, I don't, I don't like it.
Speaker 2 00:29:41 Oh, that's
Speaker 1 00:29:42 Interesting. Yeah. I mean, I'll, I'll maybe skim through, um, but first of all, I don't make a list list, so I don't actually like, um, do that, but no, I don't. However, I do actually have a vision board, um, uh, to actually that I, and that one I will look at from time to time. Okay. Interesting. Yeah. But that's because that actually just like one of my vision boards is just actually a crossword puzzle that I made for myself. And I know it's because I'm not like a visual, I'm a word person we know. And so, but all it is is a list of words of things that matter to me. Okay. So, you know, family, like at the time, like, you know, I had like, I think I had promotion new condo, that's sort of a thing. And so, um, I made that in 2017 I think. And uh, so from time to time, I'll actually look at it and then I, I try and sort of see how much of it I've achieved and it's nice to see that, you know? Yeah. Oh no, that's good. Yeah. But, but my, like if I journal anything or if I write anything about my intentions of why I want to do this, I'd never read those.
Speaker 2 00:31:05 Oh, that's interesting. So are these digital vision boards or are they like actual?
Speaker 1 00:31:10 No, it's painful. I feel like the need to say I'm sorry, but No, just like my agendas and stuff. And, and the funny thing is like, you know, my agendas that I start every year, I actually threw them out.
Speaker 2 00:31:32 You throw them out after the air is done. Oh.
Speaker 1 00:31:36 So I actually don't. I used to keep them. And now in the, over the last year and a half in my quest to declutter my life. Yeah. I think I was like, no, why? If it was important enough, I'll have to remember it otherwise. Well, by either I have a picture of it somewhere or something, but no, I don't need to remember this. And so I just started throwing them out. So I got rid of so many of my old agendas and planners and
Speaker 2 00:32:05 Oh, wow. Okay. But, um, anyway, I would think it'd be interesting just to go through. Do you, so do you go through them before you throw them on or you just throw them out?
Speaker 1 00:32:13 No, it, it actually, um, no. I mean, sometimes I'll just flip through to see if I've, if I put in any like $20 bills or something in there, which has happened. I did that. I found a $20 bill in, um, when I was selling my car tucked in to like the little, there was a little side pocket thing inside the glove compartment. Yeah. And I found it there and I don't know why I put it there.
Speaker 2 00:32:45 Oh, I do that all the time. I stashed cash everywhere. And then my people find it randomly. I never find it. Other people find it while they're looking for things. And they'll be like, um, why is this here? Why haven't you used it? Or put it in the bank?
Speaker 1 00:32:59 I needed
Speaker 2 00:33:00 It for a rainy day. I forgot about it.
Speaker 1 00:33:06 That's essentially what happens to me too every time. Like, you know, when my, if my parents ever give me money for birthdays or whatever, my mom actually gives it to me at a time when she's going to leave the house with me, because she wants me to go to the bank and deposit it. Um, she trust that I will do it because it's happened where she's given me cash, you know? Like, so like whether it's for Christmas or eat or something, it's like, oh, Hey, you know, um, and then like three years later, I'll find it again. And I'll be like, oh gosh. And you know, so very annoying to them. So,
Speaker 2 00:33:42 Oh yeah. Yeah. Oh, I know. I remember my, yeah, yeah. That's happened to me, but that's happened to me multiple times and then I always find it when I move. It's like, oh, look at all this weird cash that I sit in, like pockets and jackets and purses that I haven't. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, that's a nice surprise when you find it. You're like,
Speaker 1 00:34:06 It's awesome. The sweetest surprise.
Speaker 2 00:34:09 I know. I know. Yeah. I get it. I get in. Yeah. I get in trouble for that. Uh, anyway. Yeah. Oh, okay. So then you just, yeah. So you just throw them out. Okay. Interesting. Just to go back and see, but I guess, I mean, yeah, like it's, it's totally your prerogative as to whether or not you go back. So that's an, it's a, it's just interesting. How so? Like when you write it, do you feel like you're manifesting it and then like once it,
Speaker 1 00:34:41 Yeah, I, I find like when it's easier for me to process my emotions, if I write it out, um, like any kind of an angst or anger or sadness or happiness, right. Like it helps me process the information and, and so writing it out, like what I want, why I want physically actually writing it out helps me remember be also, um, articulate, you know, the, the chaos inside my head. And so, um, but then when you reread it, I'm reminded of that, those emotions again. So I'd rather not,
Speaker 2 00:35:20 Oh, I see. But then how, but then with intentions, it really shouldn't be that.
Speaker 1 00:35:27 No, I know with intentions. Um, it's, like I said, like the intentions, that's why I'll skim it. So I might remember and reach us the intention line, but I won't read like, like if I have written down, like why it's important to me or something like that.
Speaker 2 00:35:45 Oh, okay. Okay. Okay. Yeah, because I would think it would be less emotional just to like, read back your intentions from like the beginning of the year.
Speaker 1 00:35:54 Right. I don't know.
Speaker 2 00:35:57 I have no idea. I don't write them. No.
Speaker 1 00:36:02 Um, because you know, way, I dunno. Sometimes it can be, and sometimes it's not, I don't know how to explain it, so I won't.
Speaker 2 00:36:11 Oh, okay. Okay. Oh no, no, I, I, yeah. I mean, if there is some sort of emotion around it that you just don't want to revisit them, that makes sense.
Speaker 1 00:36:19 No, I think it's more like, like if I write down the why, like if I, you know, like why it matters to me, you know, and then I don't want to read that why anymore, because in case it reminds me of what the trigger was for that intention.
Speaker 2 00:36:33 Oh, I see.
Speaker 1 00:36:35 Yeah. Cause I'm like, ah, you know what? Like let's just focus on the intention itself. You know, how much did I apply? How do I feel about it today? That sort of thing.
Speaker 2 00:36:45 Yeah. Yeah. Okay. I'm going to ask a bitchy question,
Speaker 1 00:36:54 Your inner bitch. What I love the look on your face is going to be, so
Speaker 2 00:37:05 This is going to be so mean. Okay. So my question to you is we all know you have, uh, an insanely bad memory.
Speaker 1 00:37:32 That is also a very accurate, quick question. Um, if I write down 10 of them, I may remember one.
Speaker 2 00:37:42 Okay. Okay. And
Speaker 1 00:37:45 Which is fine because that's exactly like that was, that must have been the most important one anyway, you know? Yeah,
Speaker 2 00:37:55 Yeah, yeah. That's what you prioritized.
Speaker 1 00:37:57 Yeah. But yes, you are absolutely correct. That's part of the reason why I don't like to revisit, Then I will feel like a failure. Yeah.
Speaker 2 00:38:20 I was just barely remember what I talked to you. Like I talked about
Speaker 2 00:38:30 I'm like, how do you remember your intentions? 12 months ago? I remember a few of them, but yeah. I won't remember most of them. Oh, okay. Yeah. Which is why intentions are nicer than actual resolutions, you know? Cause they're vaguer
Speaker 1 00:38:49 More vague. It's too funny. Everybody comes up with a way to make life work for them.
Speaker 2 00:39:01 Yeah,
Speaker 1 00:39:01 Exactly. Um, I mean, I, I kid, but the kidding aside, the reason I think it's more the ritual of being reflective, writing things down at the time. Um, I just really love that, like that whole new beginning process, you know, it's like, like you said, the beginning of a new notebook, that feeling of possibilities, like anything and everything is possible. I love that feeling. It's just so optimistic.
Speaker 2 00:39:31 Yeah. Yeah. I mean, yeah. That's, that's a, that is a good feeling. It would be, it's good to, I don't know, to revisit that every year, so yeah. That's cool. It works for you, you know,
Speaker 1 00:39:47 But yeah, no, I think, um, I'd really be curious about from our listeners, you know, like, do they make resolutions? Do you make resolutions people or do you, you know, go the Rashmi route of just say, fuck it. It's just another day. When if you do resolutions, do you make, you know, do you use new years like me to reset and restart something? It's like a reboot refresh, restart moment. Um, I I'd be really curious. So
Speaker 2 00:40:18 For sure. Yeah. From our listenership. Yeah. So for sure. Um, yeah. Let us know, let us know if like this year you have decided to make resolutions start resolutions and resolutions. Um, yeah. And, and if so, what kinds of resolutions you guys make and um, if you're willing to share, that'd be great. And uh, yeah, we like hearing from you. So just, um, email us up. Does this make me look
[email protected]? Um, and you can find our social media handles on our website. It does this make me look old.com and uh, yeah. And this SI actually there is one resolution that we've made this year for our podcast, which is to be, um, a bit more active on social. Yeah. So we've recruited some help for our social media and hopefully, uh, you know, we can get back to you, um, using those
Speaker 1 00:41:16 Yeah. Instagram, Facebook, Twitter will be.
Speaker 2 00:41:24 Um, yeah. So, yeah. So feel free to reach out to us. And until next week, I guess that's it. I'll talk to you. Talk to you next week. Bye.
