Episode 19: Were the good old days all that good?

Speaker 0 00:00:03 Hi, and welcome to does this make me look old, a podcast about aging as gracefully as possible when you're just not ready for two 40 something year old friends will find themselves kind of straddling that really odd period of time when aging and everything that is associated with is starting to become a much bigger part of our lives. We're definitely curious, but at the same time, rather terrified about aging. I'm Schiff. I'm a health science nerd and pop culture themes, and I'm sin and adult and waiting obsessed with finance and self-help books. We're going to be talking about the stereotypes of aging and how they affect us. And we'll also be doing some deeper dives into some interesting topics, such as what it's like to get old in the society dating when you're older and scientific advancements in anti-aging products and even evolution and scientific thinking around aging and throughout it all we chat rant laugh about or adulting mishaps of which there are so, so, so many. So join us as we navigate our second quarter-life crisis. Hi, and welcome to this week's episode of does this make me look old and today we're going to take a trip back to nostalgia land and the topic of the day as we do this is basically to try and understand if the good old days really were that good. Speaker 1 00:01:31 I can't remember exactly how he came across this topic. I think it was just basically just how, you know, as you get older, something you get nostalgic for, like time's gone by, and I don't know, I feel that like that as you get older, people do start to like ramen eloquent. Yeah. Like reminisce or wax eloquently about the good old days and you know, like wanting things to go back to how things were back in the day. And, uh, yeah. And then I think with the two of us were talking about it and we're like, but we're the good old days, really all, all that cracked up to be. And, um, yeah. So Speaker 0 00:02:09 I feel like when people say that, um, and, and, um, uh, you know, there are definitely elements of it, but that I would like, but I think when people say that, I'm just always wondering what they want. Speaker 1 00:02:19 I want to go back to yeah. Speaker 0 00:02:22 With the amenities and all the benefits of today. Yeah. I know. And I that's. Yeah. It's very nice, Speaker 1 00:02:28 Interesting that you say that because it's true. Right? Like everyone, everyone reminisces for the good old days without really thinking about the fact that, you know, there's been like all of this science progression and like progress in technology and, you know, these like really useful, um, inventions that have been created over time that, you know, we kind of almost take for granted that weren't there back then. And so, yeah, it's true. I feel like I feel that is what people are thinking about. They want the good old days, but they want amenities of today. Speaker 0 00:03:12 You actually made me think of a two-part question. Okay. Before we delve into this topic, I need to know. Yeah. If you could go back in time to good old day or days, what period of your life would you pick one? Yes. Okay. But, but given that we would want today's amenities, what things would you want to take with you? Speaker 1 00:03:39 Ooh. That's like kind of, if you were stranded on a desert Island, what would you do? Oh my God. You have to tweet this out to people. Cause I'm curious to know what people would want. Um, yeah. Right. Okay. So, um, okay. Why don't you answer? Cause I feel like you have an answer all already set up. Speaker 0 00:04:00 Oh, actually I don't, uh, about the period of my life, but um, you know what, no, no, let's, that's alive. I'd probably go back to my early thirties, Speaker 1 00:04:10 Late. Yeah. Early thirties. I'd probably Speaker 0 00:04:12 Go back to early thirties. That was a good period. Um, just from the perspective of, you know, being older and being taken seriously at work and things like that. But at the same time, you know, young enough to like, not give a shit about anything Ever worried about what would I want is, um, I would actually want this, uh, all these, um, apps and COVID technology, all the, the, the, the interconnectivity, like, you know, I, and I want it all right. Like I want like Instagram, I want Facebook. I want constant ins you know, no streaming ability. Speaker 0 00:04:58 So the, the that, um, I would, what else would I want? Oh, so, Oh my gosh. That just covered like majority of everything I wanted. Um, I had, yeah, no, I think that's about the one thing I would probably want to take with me. Yeah. I think that's fair. Yeah. Speaker 1 00:05:20 I'm trying to think of Speaker 0 00:05:21 Like, maybe a couple of restaurants that I'm in that I love. Right. Like I'd probably want, Oh, you know what I would want, I would want the bustles Brussels sprouts craze that we went through a few years ago, like 10 years, like yeah. Speaker 1 00:05:39 Just bring it back, bring it back with you to when you were like in your thirties. Right. Speaker 0 00:05:46 That would be good. Speaker 1 00:05:50 I think about that. Yeah. Bringing, bringing food crisis back with you, right? Yeah. You know, the weird thing is, is like, I think I, I can't decide on like an age that I would be happy at. I it's funny. Cause like I want the thinness of my body in my late twenties. I know. I like, I kind of like how my life is now. So like mix and match. That's what I would want. I'd be like, could I be as thin as I was in my twenties, but with like the life that I have. Speaker 0 00:06:31 Yeah, Speaker 1 00:06:33 Yes, yeah. No pandemic. Yeah. Going back to a time where people could actually hang out with Speaker 0 00:06:38 Exactly as it is now, but like, you know, a year and a half ago or yeah. Speaker 1 00:06:43 Where you could still travel. Right. Um, yeah. Speaker 0 00:06:47 Right. I just realized that I don't think I actually remember any of these things anymore. Like that's probably why I was struggling to think of three things to take. Speaker 1 00:06:58 Uh, I know. Well, yeah. And like, it's true. Like I would want to be able to yeah. I mean, I like the, I like the fact that, you know, we can like FaceTime and zoom and you know, you can stream movies and stream TV. Like that's very, or like even, or even health wise, like I would like to have like the level of healthcare that we have now, uh, compared to like back then, back back when they give you think about it, Speaker 0 00:07:27 Who was, who was around 10 years ago? What do you mean? Like politics wise. Oh, Speaker 1 00:07:34 Harper. Wasn't it in Canada. It was Harper Speaker 0 00:07:37 Of you. Yeah. Yeah. Speaker 1 00:07:39 Politics ones. I don't think I will put a pin in that Speaker 0 00:07:45 A long time ago. Speaker 1 00:07:46 I know. Well, I mean, yeah. So like, like even like, yeah. Even like all of the different, um, like all of the different medications and things like that that have been like developed over time. Like that's another thing that people don't think about when they're like, Ooh, I want to go back to the good old days. Like, Oh, okay. So you want to be like, without proper heart, like heart medications and you know, like protocols and things like that. Okay. Speaker 0 00:08:16 Unwrap this. Right. Like, so, so when people are talking about the good old days, what is it that triggers this? Speaker 1 00:08:24 Yeah. I mean, it's interesting that you say that like I did look up whether or not research is being done on quote nostalgia. And actually there are, there's like, there's quite a little bit of research that's being done on nostalgia. And I think that like Speaker 0 00:08:35 As like a subject. Yeah, Speaker 1 00:08:39 Yeah. I know. Yeah. Speaker 0 00:08:41 Totally. People are actually studying why people want to go back in time for themselves or feel like they, that they're craving their, I don't know, childhood young hood altered, whatever. Yeah, really. Yeah. Speaker 1 00:08:56 Yeah. So yeah, there are a number of people who like psychologists and sociologists who are looking at, um, who are looking at nostalgia as an actual, um, like entity and how it, how it differs between different generations and how, uh, it differs between like age groups and what people are nostalgic for when they're nostalgic for theirs. And like, it's, it's quite interesting. So, um, there, so one of the, one of the, uh, researchers that I was looking up was a name, uh, is, um, is a person named Christine Bacho and she's a professor of psychology at Le Moyne college. Um, and she was interviewed by American psychological association to discuss, you know, her research on nostalgia. And she has some really interesting insights because, so from like, from what I like, from what I read about her research, she thinks that nostalgia, um, so basically nostalgia is kind of like was derived about like homesickness, but then it eventually became, yeah. Speaker 1 00:10:03 So it's like, you know, people who, you know, leave home and are, you know, like they think they are their home. Yeah. So, um, so I think initially it was considered like kind of, um, it was another term for homesickness, but then it kind of like morphed into, you know, like, um, like a yearning for another time or, you know, like another, uh, and, and there's different types of nostalgia. This, I didn't know. So yeah. So there's personal nostalgia, which is kind of what we were discussing, which was like, I want to go back to my twenties when I was thin. Speaker 1 00:10:40 Uh, but then there's also historical nostalgia, which is, I want to go back to a certain time point where I felt like things were better back then. So, you know, like some people think that the 1950, like 1950s, America was like the best time in America and they like, you know, kind of, um, well, no, I think it's just S so that's the other thing is that some people can actually teach their nostalgia to their kids. So wait, what? Yeah. So people overeat. So yeah, so people who lived through the 1950s, for example, and then are like personally nostalgic for the 1950s, or even historically nostalgic for the 1950s can actually teach that kind of nostalgia to their kids. So then they can be like, Oh, back in the day, you know? And so, um, and in some ways it's a way of keeping the past alive. Oh. But yeah, but I mean, in some ways it can be kind of, it can be kind of problematic because the thing is, is like your personal nostalgia for a time may not translate to other people. I mean, so for example, like nowadays, like when you say like, Ooh, the 1950s in North America was amazing, like, are you talking about that from the perspective of a white person? Or are you talking about that from the pers like perspective of a person of color, because they were totally different, right. Speaker 0 00:12:03 Oh, wow. So, so what about like, I don't know what this fall under a category or a type of nostalgia, but do you remember when, I don't know if you ever felt this, but, um, the first time, um, I read say pride and prejudice and just wanting to be immersed in that world, is that a type of nostalgia too? Speaker 1 00:12:27 Yeah. So that's also a historical nostalgia and the thing is this historical nostalgia can be biased because, and, and so she actually mentioned this, so she says that like, some people can feel ties to like Victorian England, for example, because they read certain novels or whatnot, but then like, but then they, like, you have to keep in mind that, like, what you've read is a very biased account of that time. And so even though you are quote nostalgic for that time, but it doesn't really capture what life was like then, which is interesting. Um, yeah. So it's kind of like, it's kind of like that whole term, like to the Victor goes the spoils, because if you write history in a certain way, then people can be nostalgic for that type of like life, but really you're kind of, you know, like painting a very rosy picture of that era in time. Speaker 1 00:13:23 Right. So, yeah. And the other thing that I found interesting was that through her research, she found that it can be changed depending on your mood. So if you're like, and it's, it's, it's really curious. Like, so basically what she was saying was that people can be nostalgic, but depending on their personality, they can be nostalgic in different ways. So <inaudible>, for example, um, she was describing people who grew up in the great depression, for example. And so obviously like when they were children in the great depression, life was tough, you know, like they may not have had enough to eat. They, you know, like their memories of it might have been of hardship, but then depending on the person who's actually being nostalgic for that time, they can interpret it in different ways. So somebody who, um, but so two people who grew up in hardship and in very similar conditions, one person can look back on it and be like, Oh my gosh, you know, my life was so tough back then. Speaker 1 00:14:31 But like, look where I've come now. Like, life is so much better. Like, look at how much food I have now look at how, like how good life is from me, my family, my children, whatever, and can look at and can look on that time kind of through that lens. But then somebody who, um, like a completely different who also grew up during that time could take a negative bent to it and then just be like, Oh, you know, look, yeah. Like I grew up during that time and life is so hard and, you know, and life is still hard. And, you know, like, even though like, they may not like just depending on their mood and how they view life, they still may not like they may not necessarily, um, like look at it in a positive light or like look at their time, but look at that time and kind of see how they've managed to get out of it, you know? So, yeah, so like it, so, which was something else that I found. Interesting. And yeah. And the other thing was, was that she was also talking about how people often tend to become nostalgic during times of like anxiety and stress, because like just being nostalgic can actually bring about like good feelings and, you know, help them kind of feel bonded and, and more, and kind of more socially engaged, um, with people at that time. Speaker 0 00:15:52 Is there a certain amount of time that has to pass before you can be nostalgic? Like, can you be in the SteelBrick for last month or does it actually have to be, say two years ago, kind of a thing Speaker 1 00:16:06 I know, I know Speaker 0 00:16:08 Amount of time need to pass before it qualifies this, uh, you know, Speaker 1 00:16:14 That's an interesting question. I know I'd love to interview her and see like what she, what she thinks, because I have a feeling that this pandemic would probably give her a lot of material to actually like, be able to research. Right. Because like we can technically be nostalgic for pre pandemic times, which were like, just like a year ago. I want to go back to that. I know. Speaker 0 00:16:41 And is that fall under the correct definition of nostalgia or is there a different word for it? Speaker 1 00:16:48 Yeah. Yeah. I have a feeling it's still nostalgia. Right? Like, it's, it, it, and she also said that apparently nostalgia happens during times of transition. So a lot of people feel nostalgic. Um, there's a peak of nostalgia apparently in young adulthood. And then there's like a smaller peak in old age, which I think, which I found very interesting because I would've thought that it would have been the other way around. I would have thought people would be more nostalgic when they were older, but apparently they were saying that people feel nostalgic during young adulthood because it's a big transition and they're kind of looking forward with trepidation as to what is going to happen in their future. So then they look back to the past to kind of like center themselves and calm themselves down and kind of like see what they came from so that it can center themselves in order to see where they're going. Which is interesting. Speaker 0 00:17:40 Yeah. That does remind me of conversations we've had over the years. Right. Where you were like, where I think we dissected, you know, either college life or high school life, or, you know, like different periods of our life to sort of, um, just talk about it with a little bit more, you know, like, Oh, this is, remember when, uh, conversations that we've had over time. So yeah, that kind of makes sense. Speaker 1 00:18:10 Yeah. Well, I mean, and so it's, it's funny that you were saying that, can you be a nostalgia for like things that happen a month ago? The other thing that I didn't realize was that you can feel nostalgic when you're very young. So apparently like they've done research and like, they, they had interviewed CA like they interviewed kids. So like some like seven year olds were nostalgic for like a few years ago. I know, Speaker 0 00:18:39 Wait, was this like a study they did? Or was this like TV interviews, radio into like, like Speaker 1 00:18:44 This was like, I think this was part of a study that they did. So Speaker 0 00:18:48 I would love to see that talking about their past. Yeah, no, for sure. Speaker 1 00:18:58 I know it was really cute. Like, yeah. I didn't think like, yeah. I mean, I don't remember being, wow. I think, I think you can send me be nostalgic. Like, I think when I was younger, just because like I had moved around so often, like you end up becoming, becoming nostalgic for like old friends or places that you've been like, so I think it really depends on your life and what's happened to you, but yeah. So yeah, Speaker 0 00:19:25 A good, like an interesting point you make, because I know of no, if I ever actually truly want to go back and relive the entire period of whatever period I'm thinking of. Yeah. But there are elements of it that I sometimes, you know, miss or try and recreate in my head. Right. Like, um, I remember like once during my travels, um, I was flying back. I think it was from Ireland or Portugal. I can't remember. Oh, clearly, no, actually that's a lie. Um, cause it was a combination trip, but, um, as I was flying back, um, I just remember feeling so at peace, you know, like if it had been a fantastic vacation, um, we had gone to Ireland first and then gone to Portugal and then I was, you know, then we were flying back and I think, I just felt so at peace, like it just was perfect in every way. Speaker 0 00:20:26 Right. And something about that whole trip back and, and the vacation was great, but like, I mean the trip itself, right? Like, um, everything just flew. Like I was somehow it was just a smooth ride, you know, where we, you know, one of those days or things like where everyone's smiling, you get through checkout gate check really quickly. Um, you get upgraded, you, you know, like I don't have, no, it was good trip, like a good flight. And I just remember feeling so happy and blissful. And it's one of those feelings that sometimes when I'm really stressed, I actually try and go back in my head, like, yeah, I just need to feel as lucky I did. Yeah. It wasn't just good. I felt lucky. And yeah, it was almost like I had taken a sip of, you know, um, some kind of Luxor, you know, or it's like, Oh my God, I am the luckiest person in the world. You're totally thinking about Harry Potter. Weren't you Felix. Good luck. I know you were, but that's what it felt like, you know? Um, and, and so sometimes when I'm having a really stressful time, I'll actually try and recreate that feeling, um, in the hopes that, you know, the stress will go away. But yeah, no, I, yeah. I think that that's Speaker 1 00:21:59 Really good coping mechanism. Like I think that that's, and I think that is what people are probably using a lot of nostalgia fours. If they're feeling kind of like unsettled in their life or like unsure, unhappy, whatever. Then I think then that's when they go back in time in their heads to like, like to a like easier time, a better time. Like, um, yeah, it's funny. Cause like, cause I was talking about it with my, my partner. I was like, Oh, today I think we're going to talk about, you know, like nostalgia and like, you know, how, how people like view it. And they H how everybody seems to want to go back to the good old days. And he was like, yeah. And like he's into sports. So he was talking about like, he was talking about basketball and he was like, it's just like Michael Jordan and how, like everybody focuses on the fact that he was X six and O um, but, uh, like for, you know, like, uh, for the, what am I trying to say? Cause I'm not a basketball fan. You can tell, Speaker 0 00:23:03 What are you talking about? His championships championships. There you go. I'm like, what's the word? Speaker 1 00:23:09 And he was like six annoys his championships, but everyone forgets about how like, you know, like the pistons beat them, like, you know, multiple times, like everyone just remembers the good times, but like nobody remembers the bad times. And I think, and I think that is another phenomenon that happens when people get older. Right. Like kind of like whittle away, all of like the negative, the negative things. And then you just remember all the good things in your life. So then when you go back, but that's all you remember, right. Speaker 0 00:23:33 Like you don't really know, like, I don't really remember like Speaker 1 00:23:36 As many bad things. So I mean that, that's also a possibility, Speaker 0 00:23:41 But do you know what, maybe that's not such a bad thing, I guess because, um, uh, you know, uh, I'm thinking of the people who are constantly thinking about the bad thing that time. So the bad things from the, from their older, you know, olden times. And I think like they are way more annoying than the people who look at their life through rosier lens. Just speaking to this kind of like, you know, like, like that negative Nancy syndrome, you know, where people are, Oh my God, my life sucks. Or, you know, um, nothing's improving or I was always unlucky or I went through the hardest time then, and I'm going through the hardest time now. And, uh, so I think I'd rather much rather deal with people who are nostalgic, but only remember the good times. Speaker 1 00:24:34 Yeah. That, that, that totally makes sense. It's funny because like, I didn't think that they would say something, this kind of judgy in a paper, well, it wasn't really a paper. It was like during her interview. But like she was saying, there are some people that when they get nostalgic, that's all, they remember all the bad times and that, like, I know the issue is I know. Right. And so she was saying that, like she was saying that apparently, you know, take stock of your life and see whether or not you want to like continue to befriend people like that because they're nostalgia for bad times can rub off on you. Especially if you shared those, if you shared that time in your life. Because, because that's what she was saying is that nostalgia can be taught and nostalgia can be kind of, you know, like, um, transferred, transferred and shared between people. Because I think that's the other thing that they were, she was saying about nostalgia is that it bonds people because, you know, like I'm sure that we all have an example of this where you're getting together with friends and then people like who you shared a certain stage of time with, and then you just go back and you go, Oh, remember that time when, Speaker 0 00:25:41 And it could be a high school, like Backstreet boys song comes on. Speaker 1 00:25:46 Exactly. Right. And so, so, but the thing is, is that the shared nostalgia between all of you actually ends up bonding you even more. So it's kind of like a very social, it's a very social construct. And so, so she was saying that like, yeah. So, but if there, if it's all negative nostalgia, that can be a problem too. So yeah. Which I found really interesting. I was like, Oh, that's, you know, I never really thought about it that way is that if you are with somebody, who's always like, Oh, I'll remember back that back when, like, when it was so tough and life sucks, then it could really have an effect on your life now, you know? Speaker 0 00:26:22 Yeah. No, this is actually so fascinating. I actually didn't realize that there were different types of nostalgia. Speaker 1 00:26:28 I didn't know that either until, until we like decided let's look at this topic and I wonder if anyone's done research on this. Speaker 0 00:26:35 Yeah. I mean, you know, I mean, I know we've talked about like, you know, um, Oh my gosh, wouldn't it be so cool? Like, you know, people say things like right old to live in the Victorian times, for example, or the region, whatever, or the, you know, a night during the medieval times or without a proper bathroom that, Oh my God, Speaker 1 00:26:58 I have to tell you that, like when I was in grade seven and I learned that like, yeah, that like toileting facilities weren't necessarily, you know, up to snuff, like back in like the 13 hundreds, Europe, I was so disgusted. I was like, I don't think I will ever look at a castle the same way. Speaker 0 00:27:21 Exactly. Oh my God. So, so gross bathroom. That is actually true. Uh, I don't, I think when I realized that too, right. Like, um, that every time you, you know, you'd play pretend, and then you'd actually, if you were trying to be realistic, a lot of the comfort of today, right. Gross Speaker 1 00:27:50 Became too real. It's too real for me. Speaker 0 00:27:54 Oh my God. But I think, I just didn't realize that the word nostalgia would apply to that as well. If you haven't, if it was, if it predates you, um, for something that predates you, um, I didn't realize that the term nostalgia would, um, would still apply. I know, neither did I, the Japanese have a specific word that not nostalgia, but is so precise. Speaker 1 00:28:23 You know, the Germans do the Germans have like precise, like nouns for everything. I'm sure. I'm sure they do. And if any Germans are out there listening to us, please Speaker 0 00:28:33 Tell us if it's the German word for nostalgia or if they have, if you actually have a different word, um, for, you know, yearning for things that pre-date, you exactly have it too though. Speaker 1 00:28:52 Yeah. I'm sure they do. They, yeah. Like, it's just, it's so interesting. How other cultures have these like precise terms for, for feelings? Like, yeah. Whereas like in, I feel like English is very, like, vague about feelings and if you just kind of like throw everything into like one big group, it makes it very hard to pinpoint what you're actually feeling. Speaker 0 00:29:16 Oh gosh, you got him. I think there was, um, I can't remember the word now, but, um, there was a Japanese word for, um, you know, you know, how you keep buying books that you're going to read, but you never do. And it starts piling up. We actually have a word for that. Really. That's amazing. That is very precise. And it's something that happens to me, all the, that I have to read through that I still haven't and yet I to keep buying new ones. So that's because it's because you're very optimistic. It's good. Yeah. Very, very optimistic. Speaker 0 00:29:58 I feel, uh, yeah, I think we've discussed pretty much everything that we can about nostalgia. It's time to wrap up. Um, so yeah, just let us know. Um, you know, if there's a period you're nostalgic for and if you are, uh, what period it is and, and, uh, would you really, really want to go back and give up everything that you have now, um, and, uh, and relive all the bad times to, to get back to this year and what three things of, of like your current state, do you want to bring back if you were going to go back to a certain time? Yeah, exactly. Um, and, uh, we're on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter. So definitely look us up. Uh, does this make me look old and um, yeah, until then we shall see you next week. Speaker 2 00:30:54 Sounds good. Bye.