Episode 24: Do our personalities change over time?

Speaker 0 00:00:00 <inaudible> hi Speaker 1 00:00:04 And welcome to does this make me look old, a podcast about aging as gracefully as possible when you're just not ready for two 40 something year old friends move find themselves kind of straddling that really odd period of time when aging and everything that is associated with is starting to become a much bigger part of our lives. We're definitely curious, but at the same time, rather terrified about aging. I'm Schiff. I'm a health science nerd and pop culture themes, and I'm sin and adult and waiting obsessed with finance and self-help books. We're going to be talking about the stereotypes of aging and how they affect us. And we'll also be doing some deeper dives into some interesting topics, such as what it's like to get old in the society dating when you're older and scientific advancements in anti-aging products and even evolution and scientific thinking around aging and throughout it all we chat rant laugh about or adulting mishaps of which there are so, so, so many. So join us as we navigate our second quarter life crisis. Speaker 2 00:01:09 Hi, welcome to this week's episode of does this make me look old? So SIM I understand that you have a topic that you were curious about or wanted to talk about today. So can you, yeah, just let us know what that's about. Speaker 1 00:01:21 Well, okay. So this is actually, this topic came about, um, as a result of another conversation that I was having with a friend of mine. Yeah. And, um, it was just like, she made a comment, uh, cause she knew me when I was in, um, grad school, like right after my undergrad. Cause I went directly to, um, like I finished undergrad and then I started my master's the following fall, right? Yeah. So when I met her, she knew, she knew me in my last year of high university and then she met me, you know, but then we ended up in the same university. Um, and uh, she made a comment where she was saying that I sound so corporate and stuff now. Right. Like I'm so different. Yeah. And I was like, really? And she's like, yeah. Do you remember that you were such a hippie back then? Right. And why are you laughing? Speaker 2 00:02:19 Why are you laughing? Because you're definitely not a hippie now. Okay. Go on. Okay. Speaker 1 00:02:34 Okay. See that takes me aback a little bit because Speaker 2 00:02:38 Why does this take you up? Speaker 1 00:02:41 Damn bleeding. Heart liberal. Okay. Yes, that's true. But you know what I mean? Like I'm like, I feel like, okay, maybe I don't know myself, but you know, I think that's, what's upsetting me in a way because not upsetting me, but like I think it just made me pause was that, you know, she mentioned like I used to go to those, um, new age stores all the time and you know, I, I would buy, um, those stones and anything with astrology, you know, the Palm reader, um, you know, and, and like, I don't know. Did I do that when I met you? I feel like, yes, no, no, no. So I think we were like in Yorkville or something once and I'm like, there was this old lady, like a, you know, sort of doing readings, Palm readings. And I'm like, oh my God, I need a 20, I need a penny. Speaker 2 00:03:42 Exactly. And so okay. Speaker 1 00:03:45 Can, most of them are frauds, but I just feel like, but there might be a person who is actually genuine. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Speaker 2 00:03:56 Okay. Okay. I, I, I'm hearing you, I'm hearing you and I understand what you're saying. Speaker 1 00:04:01 Sounds very patronizing right now. Speaker 2 00:04:05 I would just like to say yes, maybe like 15 years ago you did go to Palm readers, but have you gone to a Palm reader in the last five years? No. CE or 10. Speaker 1 00:04:23 That's my point though. Right. Like I think it's just a little bit surprising because the friend, um, I had just reconnected on, you know, um, after a few years, like, you know, she's like one of those people that I've known on and off. Yeah. So when we were chatting, she was like, you know, like we were just catching up and she's like, oh my gosh, you're just so different now. Right. And then she was giving me these examples of the kind of person I was in, in grad school. And, you know, I guess even the way I dressed and the way I spoke and what I spoke about and things I enjoyed doing, I guess they were just very new agey. You know, maybe he is not necessarily the right word, but you know, new age, you for sure. And now even as a person, I feel like I'm probably like, if I'm being honest. Speaker 1 00:05:18 Yes, you're right. Like I am quite different. So I think the topic I really wanted to talk about was exploring that, you know, how do people change like themselves, personality, our tastes in things, you know, uh, what we do and even do you know what I mean? Like things like how we are and how we act like you sort of, I don't want to say, I wouldn't want to use the word evolve because that totally negates who I was as a young person at a younger age. But that's the topic I kind of want to explore it because a, your laugh already gave me my answers new age Speaker 2 00:06:12 And you have to admit just a tiny bit delusional, just a little, Speaker 1 00:06:19 Like still some of that UHG element in me. Speaker 2 00:06:22 I haven't seen it in a long Speaker 1 00:06:24 Time. No, no. Speaker 2 00:06:27 Since we meet, maybe, maybe if you check your horoscope, do you still check your horoscope? Speaker 1 00:06:34 I'm sure I did. I'm sure. I used to single-handed we keep cosmos personality quizzes going. Speaker 2 00:06:46 There's a lot of Cosmo in ages. It's true. But I mean, does anybody buy magazines anymore? I think that's not just you. I feel like magazines have been on a downhill trend for many years now. Like with the new digital age, like nobody reads the magazine articles and it's all digital, but yeah, I think the only people that do buy magazines are like in airports where you, like, I don't know your, your phone has died and you can't, you can't access anything anymore. So you're like, oh, I guess I'm stuck having to buy a magazine for the flight. Fair enough. Speaker 1 00:07:26 That's a very good point back to your life crisis. Okay. Speaker 2 00:07:30 Oh, this is a crisis now I didn't realize it a crisis. Speaker 1 00:07:33 It's a crisis because what does that say about me? Like it's not that the change itself is a problem. It's the change into like what I changed into the perceived into. Okay. Speaker 2 00:07:49 Because I feel do you feel like your new age-y persona in your twenties was like a better person somehow than like kinder and you can still have a corporate mindset, but be kind of nice. No, this is never the Twain shall meet. Is this how it is? Speaker 1 00:08:16 Yes, I could break the stereotype, but I don't know. I guess I don't think I'm that corporate. So it's just weird. Like what does that even mean? Speaker 2 00:08:30 So what did she mean? What did she mean when she said you were more corporate? I'm not sure. Speaker 1 00:08:33 Like if you, like, there are a lot of those things that I used to like doing and in my twenties that I still enjoy, I still love spoken word. I used to go to those all the time and mind you? Yes. I haven't been in a long time, but that's just a function of like my busy schedule, not lack of interests. Um, you know, Speaker 2 00:08:55 And the pandemic, like nobody, I hadn't Speaker 1 00:08:59 Been in a few years, but, um, it's more to do with the fact that, you know, it's just, it's been crazy busy. Right. Um, but I still love spoken word. I still, um, you know, I, I mean even religion wise, right? Like when we get it, all our groups, because discussions, I'm still the, you never know, maybe there's something out there. Maybe there isn't like, you know, I don't take a concrete stand. I'm still exploring a lot of those kinds of elements have traveled with me as I've aged. Yeah. Speaker 2 00:09:33 Yeah. No. I mean, yeah, those are core parts of your personality that are still like there. Okay. Speaker 1 00:09:43 Very skeptical. They're looking at me like I'm just grown three heads. Speaker 2 00:09:47 No, that's your perception. I just think it's funny that you think that your new agey, you're not new age. Oh my goodness. Anyway, sorry. I'm sorry to break it to you, but I still friend is correct. Speaker 1 00:10:07 I have sent in candles. How do you think you've changed since your twenties? So, um, your personality, I'm not talking about like physical changes and stuff. Cause yes. We know like, you know, fat mass shifts and you know, places that you didn't have fat before now does, or does it just distributes differently? You know, all of that good stuff, right? Yeah. Screw the physical changes. Cause yes, fine. I look physically different, but personality wise, do you feel like you've changed as a person? Speaker 2 00:10:45 Yeah, but the thing is, is that sometimes I wonder that it's not for the better cause like okay. In certain respects, maybe I've changed in some ways for the better, but in other ways, I just think I might've been nicer in my twenties. That's my point. Speaker 1 00:11:03 Like I think that I've been traveling with this person priest persona in my head of myself. Right. Yeah. You know, I've grown into myself like, you know, like I feel like I'm, like you said, like for the better, like I'm the person I am. Um, and you know, it's, I've enhanced the good parts and I've learned how to minimize some of the bad parts. Not all of them, but some of them. Right. Yeah. Like I feel like, you know, so again, not wanting to use the word evolved, but I don't know another word for it right now because I'm so incensed that, you know, I'm like an improved version of myself at twenties. I'm a polar opposite because there were elements I liked that I was trying to enhance. Speaker 2 00:12:01 Well, did she really tell you that you were the polar opposite though? I don't think she did. She just said he's become more corporate, but that's just a Speaker 1 00:12:09 Shift. What you mean? It sounded very judgy, like a very judge moment. Do you remember? Because, and now you're so corporate and I was like, oh, and you know, thanks. Oh my goodness. Speaker 2 00:12:34 I don't know. Yeah. Yeah. I guess it depends on the tone that she was taking. I don't know that it's necessarily a bad thing though. Like, I mean Speaker 1 00:12:43 Maybe I think of it as a weird, Speaker 2 00:12:45 You do. Maybe it's just about your perception of like how she seeing you. Speaker 1 00:12:50 Yeah. Maybe I guess I'm just surprised because I didn't think I had shut you had changed from those things. Because I mean, I think that I'm still interested in, you know, those kinds of new age things. Like I liked listening to those Chante type of music. So drum circle, music, thingies or meditation. I do. I meditate even though it's mainstream now medication and all of that good stuff. Like it's all good things that I feel like, you know, I've retained in my life. So yeah. I don't know. It just felt weird. You know what I mean? Like it felt, I felt like it wasn't a good thing. What she was saying. Like I was, I guess I was somehow a nicer person. Speaker 2 00:13:43 Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, I mean, you can still be new age and not a nice person. Like it doesn't make new age doesn't necessarily mean that you're automatically, always Speaker 1 00:13:54 Logically. But I think like, you know, that whole thing about like, I guess, I guess I like to think that I retained my openness to exploring ideas and things like that. Like, you know? Yeah. Speaker 2 00:14:09 But do you think being in corporate doesn't allow Speaker 1 00:14:11 You to do that? That corporate, to be honest with you. Speaker 2 00:14:14 Okay. Maybe I am. So like you're the new agey corporate person Speaker 1 00:14:27 That was uh, um, anyway, I'm just trying to get them. I'm trying to set the legal process, this thing here, but okay. To go back to my point though, is have you, do you think that people change them? Like, cause I feel like people do, right? Like do you think your dad or mom now are different than when you were younger? Speaker 2 00:14:54 Oh my God. Yes. Well, no. No. Okay. So I think that overall their personality hasn't changed that much, but my mom especially has become super, super mellow as she's grown older. Like there are things she will say that I, like, I know the 20, 30 years ago she would never have said like, she'll just like, just like ways where she'll just be like, oh, you know, it should be all less a fair about something. But you know, that 30 years ago she would just be like, Nope, this is the way it is. This is the way it has to be. But like now she's like, whatever, let it go. It's not important. It's like, what happened to you? Speaker 1 00:15:34 Is it like that article you had read last week where it was like, don't sweat the small stuff. Speaker 2 00:15:40 Exactly. Exactly. Yeah. It's like stop worrying and don't smell it. The sweat, the small stuff. They pretty much I know. And it's just like, are you now maybe, maybe this is it. Maybe she's just, I realized you can't worry about like, Speaker 1 00:15:56 Oh, she's expressing humor. Like she'll make jokes. And I do not recall my mom ever having a sense of humor. Nevermind. Actually remember her laughing, you know, sometimes. No, I'm kidding. But obviously, but like her sense of humor is now more evident. Yeah. Yeah. She'll actually be sarcastic and, and crack a joke. And like, I think, I remember a couple of times we were all taken aback. Yeah. We were like, what's that her actually making a joke and we're like, or is she actually angry about something? Right. Just being sarcastic and funny. Oh my gosh. So yeah. So she's changed. So maybe there is something to this whole changing your personality as you wait. Speaker 2 00:16:50 Yeah. Yeah. I think that there are certain core L like, I dunno, this is just my opinion. This is not based on any scientific fact in any way, but like, I feel like there's a core elements of you as a person that probably don't change that much as you like go through life. But then, you know, like as you grow older, like certain things, like you just tweak a little, you know, like you can tweak it different ways, but like somehow your personality just like gets tweaked. Speaker 1 00:17:16 Is my point tweaking, your personality gets tweaked. Yeah. Not, I don't recognize you. You're a completely different person. Speaker 2 00:17:27 Yeah. Yeah. See, that's what I find. So is that really what she said though? Speaker 1 00:17:31 I don't know. But that's how I felt in your life. Your interpretation of your interactions is all that matters. Okay. Speaker 2 00:17:47 Oh my God. That's too funny. As opposed to maybe having asked her exactly what she means at the time. Anyway, just saying again. No, no, I'm just saying next time get clarification. I Speaker 1 00:18:11 Did. And that's when she was giving me examples. Right. Like, um, cause I was like, what do you mean? Like, you know, I'm corporate. Yeah. How have I changed? That's when she was like, oh, don't you remember? Like, you know, you were so like, you know, into this and you would go here and you will do this, whatever. Right. And I was like, oh, okay. I guess, I mean, I don't do those anymore, but yeah, it does mean I've changed as a person. But I think my conversation with her seemed to imply that yes, you know, those things by not doing them, I have Speaker 2 00:18:52 Changed. Okay. Speaker 1 00:18:55 Has changed. And that's why I don't do them. Yeah. So I don't know. Um, how, I, I guess my question being that, you know, like I don't Speaker 2 00:19:06 Yeah. I mean, I guess the question is, is that is how you feel. Okay. Okay. Okay. How about this is how you feel about fortune tellers? Has that changed over time? Speaker 1 00:19:17 I mean probably, you know what, okay. This is going to sound sad actually. Now that I think about it. Oh my God, Speaker 2 00:19:25 I'm sorry. I've hit a nerve. Like Speaker 1 00:19:28 Yes. Maybe I am more cynical and I just don't have hope. Oh no. You would go through the fortune teller. Cause then there's a part of you that's Ooh. Something new and exciting or something hopeful might happen. Right. Okay. Yeah. Right. So you're like, whoa, tell me about telling me about this and tell me about that, right? Yeah. Can you see there's this element of like, Ooh, you know, like, oh my gosh, who knows? And maybe I just don't you don't have that anymore. Maybe. Speaker 2 00:20:02 Okay. I'm going to, I'm going to play devil's advocate. Speaker 1 00:20:05 Oh my God. Really? By no, Speaker 2 00:20:07 No, no. I'm just going to play devil's advocate and ask you like, so do you think, okay, so you think it's because you've lost hope, but like I'm wondering. Yeah. But I'm wondering, is it just because you're more settled in your life now? Oh, it's not that you've lost hope. It's just more that like, you are more settled in your life and you kind of have a path. So now you don't feel the need to go to a fortune teller because you kind of are set Speaker 1 00:20:36 Or that I actually you're. Right. Like I know where I'm going. So I'm a little bit more sure. And I guess that extra gosh insurance. Yeah. That is a nicer possibility on my side. Okay. Um, Speaker 2 00:21:04 Oh my God. Um, Speaker 1 00:21:08 Yeah, no. Okay. So I am a little bit dramatic. See, I've retained my sense of drama. There Speaker 2 00:21:14 You go. See, that is clearly a core part of your personality. Speaker 1 00:21:19 I was a tardy scholar and in grade one and I was in the pit and all the Partridge in the pear tree. Yeah. Had a flare for this drama for awhile. So see, I've always had that. I'm just better at hiding it or controlling Speaker 2 00:21:41 Maybe. Speaker 1 00:21:44 No, I don't know. I, I think it was, it's just, it was just interesting to sort of start thinking about, you know, just how people start to change or look different, you know, or active as they get older. And it's, it's just, it's funny. Right? Like there's some people, for example, in school, you thought of them a certain way and now, you know, you like they've done something different or they've said something different and you were sort of, you factor that in, in how you treat them. Right. Like for example, there was a couple of people that maybe I wasn't as good a friend with them too with them when I was in school. But over time I've gotten to know them better. Or maybe they're New York, they're newer versions. Yeah. Um, and, and, you know, we get along great. So I don't know. It was just, it was just one of those things where I'm like, oh my gosh, I wonder if she actually feels like that. Or, I mean, you've also known me for a long enough time to sort of say like, have I actually changed in the time that you've known me? Speaker 2 00:22:50 Yeah. I don't think you have, honestly, I don't think you have, but you have avoided fortune tellers in the last, like five to 10 years have changed. I have, or I haven't. You have, oh, really. See, I know I'm getting crankier as I'm getting older. This is, this is like something I Speaker 1 00:23:09 Was going to say you've gotten more assertive. Speaker 2 00:23:12 Oh, okay. Okay. Oh, that's a nicer way of putting it as opposed to me, I'm like, I'm just cranky. Speaker 1 00:23:20 Like I don't know about crankier, but I feel like you voice your opinions a lot more clearly now than when I first met you. I remember when I first met you, like for the longest time you were so easy going and going with the flow and you still are for the most part. Right? Like it's like, you know, people will be like Schiff. She'll say, well, you know, she'll, she'll, she's easy going and you are for the most part, but now you communicate your opinion about something a lot more soon, like lot sooner. Yeah. Think then, and, and, and just, you know, more matter of factly rather than, um, you know, Speaker 2 00:24:01 Roundabout, fashion. Yeah. In a circuitous way, like three conversations later, you find out what I really think about something Speaker 1 00:24:21 You probably joked the second time you probably played devil's advocate actually. Speaker 2 00:24:37 No scientific evidence for this. Oh my goodness. Yeah. I know. I think it's like as time has gone on, I just, like, I just feel like I just don't have the time anymore to go through that. So I'm just like cut to the chase. Speaker 1 00:24:54 Cut all the bullshit. You're less patient with other people's bullshit. Yeah. Speaker 2 00:24:59 Yeah. I think that, yeah. Which I, which I think, yes, these are, that's the thing like, like I wonder about it because I think to myself, like, is that a good thing? Cause in my twenties, I was so like nice and easy going. And I feel like I was like kinder to people and now I'm just like, fuck this shit. Speaker 1 00:25:18 I don't have time for this. That's what threw me off a little bit, because I do think that now I make a conscious effort to be kinder or more mindful of other people's feelings and considerations. Whereas before I was probably a little bit more like, who cares because you know, in my current world, I'm probably, you know, I have to be more direct and assertive and all of that. And I am, yeah. I make it a point to try and be as empathetic. Speaker 2 00:25:56 Yeah. I'm like, what is the word? Speaker 1 00:26:01 Try to be as nice about things as possible, even if I don't agree with it. Right. Be less, you know, like about social viewpoints or anything. I'll, I'll be like, okay, I don't agree with you, but I'm nicer and gentler about most of my interactions. Right. Um, yes, they can be, but I will be like, okay, here's what I think. But I don't agree with your viewpoint. Like I'm a lot more inclusive yeah. About other people's opinions and, and things. So it was just, yeah. So Speaker 2 00:26:35 Is that why you took offense when she called you corporate? Like, do you feel like corporate people wouldn't be empathic? I'm going to try and understand Speaker 1 00:26:45 Here. Yeah. Maybe. I don't know. Maybe, maybe I just been at a rough couple of Mike's constant quote, unquote stakeholder meetings, get to you, you know? Yeah, yeah, exactly. That's why. And I just, the conversation just happened to be at a time where I think I was just feeling so frustrated about something. Oh Speaker 2 00:27:08 Yeah. Yeah. Wondering, cause like, I feel like your concept of a new age person is like a kinder, gentler kind of like Speaker 1 00:27:18 Or worse, you know? Speaker 2 00:27:21 Yeah. And that like, and that a corporate person isn't and Speaker 1 00:27:25 They do, but it's quantified. Hmm. Okay. Yeah, of course they do. Right. I mean, when I say corporate person, I think I'm just talking about the corporate relation versus people. Yeah. Um, but yeah, in, in corporate environment I feel like there's a quantified approach to kindness or community service or, you know, people do it, but there's a value you attach to it, right? Yeah. Donate X amount. You're going to spend this time. You are going to select this community or this cause based on these criteria is that they need a quantified approach to it as opposed to a blanket, um, kindness, you need to be structured about that because obviously, you know, resources are finite, so you have to decide how and when and why you, you know, associated with certain causes. So I that Speaker 2 00:28:24 And how you invest your yeah. How you invest those resources. Yeah. No, that makes sense. But like, I'm, it's interesting because you tell me that you are getting more empath, like more empathic and more like in tune with other people's feelings over time, but that doesn't really fit with like the kind of like new age persona that like, you know what I mean? Okay. Well, no, because like, okay, so you're like, so you feel like the new age person is like kinder, gentler, like nicer and that a corporate person isn't but then Speaker 1 00:28:59 Person of me, right. Like we're talking just about me, obviously. I can't speak for you. Yeah, no, no, no, exactly. SIM SIM. Yeah. Yes, yes, Speaker 2 00:29:10 Yes. So, but then, but then you're telling me that, like, you think you've changed over time because you used to be more, Speaker 1 00:29:19 But what I need is I think that my point was that I think I worked at tweaking the aspects of myself that I valued. So I do value kindness. Right. Um, at least I think I do that Matt, um, you know, and I feel like, you know, like I, I focused on that aspect. Right. Like kind of like, um, and that's what I meant, like I think, I mean, obviously people will change, but I didn't think I would do a, I did a 180 is my point. The point was, I didn't think I warranted. It felt like what she was saying was that I was completely one type, like in some of the examples she had given and things like that. Right. But, um, and so my job obviously I've parsed out a lot of the conversation, but, um, it just felt that the end, the, the, the moral of the story was that I am a completely different person now versus who I was when she first knew me. And I think that's the part that I was having hard time reconciling, because I was kind of like, oh, because, you know, I like to think that I've retained this and I've worked at, you know, I've become more blah, blah, blah. But I like to think that it was there, you know, and I, I guess my actions or my behavior, I didn't think it changed that much over time. Yeah. I mean, maybe it's a good thing that I changed, you know, I've adapted to 20, 21. Exactly. Speaker 2 00:31:05 Well, I mean, like you've adopted before and you've adopted to like your new kind of environment, right. Like, this is kind of like who you need to be in order to like function in the world that you're in. So, I mean, it's all, it's not necessarily a bad Speaker 1 00:31:22 Thing, but yeah. Like I think it's just one of those things I need to look it up. I need to see if there's any truth to the evidence that people change their personalities as they get older. Speaker 2 00:31:34 Yeah. Yeah. We saw that. We did see an article that said that like personalities can change as you get older. Um, but yeah, like, I mean, but then the thing is, is like the article itself, wasn't clear as to like how people change. Cause like in one section they said like people get more altruistic and more compassionate and then another section, they were like, no, they don't. Which one is it? Yeah. Well, in the first section, Speaker 1 00:32:06 Honestly, um, I think the conversation just made me a little bit more reflective of the changes I've thought of. And usually when people talk about this changes, everyone says, oh, I'm more confident now. Or I'm more secure in myself where I've grown into my skin, you know? Um, and, and so I think, um, mentally, I guess I thought about change more in those kinds of terms. So when I was thrown a curve ball, by being told that I was a completely different persona now than I was no image of it just through me, you know? Yeah, yeah, Speaker 2 00:32:47 Yeah. I don't know if I would, yeah. I don't know if I would go as far as to say that you're a completely different person. Like that just seems a bit, that seems like a bit much, like, I, like, I think that like, you're Speaker 1 00:32:59 No way, but yeah. It was just like the, you know, like I said, like it, the way it was a way was like, like, oh my gosh. Yeah, you're completely like, you're such a corporate person now. Right. And I was like, oh, okay. Speaker 2 00:33:14 Yeah. But let me, it's kind of like Speaker 1 00:33:16 That. And I'm like, what do you mean? Speaker 2 00:33:20 Yeah. I would think that like your personality, like your core personality probably hasn't changed that much. It's just that you've just had to like modify portions of it in order to like adapt to your new, your new positions. Right. Like I think, and I think that we all do that. Like everybody kind of tweaks themselves a little in Speaker 1 00:33:37 An order likes broken stances. Right. Like you live differently, you know? Uh, all of that. Yeah. Yeah. Speaker 2 00:33:43 Well, I mean, I'm sure that people, um, who have kids change their personalities in certain ways, like simply based on that life change, you know, like there's like all sorts of, there's all sorts of reasons that you might have shifted a little based on like how people knew you, you know, like, especially like, I mean, people who were like partied really hard when they're our twenties and now we're like really serious about like, you know, like their kids' education and, you know, like sure. And stuff like that. Like, you know, like, but these are things. Yeah, exactly. Like, I mean, Speaker 1 00:34:16 Yeah, no, I think you're right. Yeah. You know that logically, but you know, it's funny because if you think about it though, certain things, I feel like, I don't know, like our tastes and stuff do change over time, like wise, um, you know, food wise. Um, I dunno, like I know we covered did a, talked a lot about taste in music, but like, you know, you've, you listen to a lot of music and I feel like you, you know, you, you come across these music patterns that, you know, we're probably not to when you were younger. Speaker 2 00:34:49 Exactly. Or like, you know, like yeah. But just because your life changes the yeah. Like the style of music that you listened to, like it, it might also change, you know? So, um, yeah. Like things that you might have, like, you know, really connected with in your twenties might suddenly like, not hold as much, um, like importance to you in like your forties or sixties. Right. So, yeah. And I mean, the funny thing is, is that, yeah, I've gone to this like weird. So it's funny. They were talking about taste because when I was younger, obviously when I was like really young, I loved milk chocolate. But then like when I got older, I like dark chocolate. And now I'm like shifting back to milk again. I don't know why. Anyway. I think it's the pandemic. I think, I just feel the need to like, have like the comforting, like the cozy comfort of like chocolate. Speaker 1 00:35:40 Yeah. For me, I think it was wine. Like I moved from white to now exclusively red, but I don't know why they're like, there's no rhyme or reason. It was just all of a sudden I'm like, no, I like what red now. I don't know it is, but yeah, no food wise. What about friends and men? Speaker 2 00:36:04 Friends and men. Oh yeah. Yeah. Like, oh, I actually, I was just having this discussion with a friend of mine. Yeah. Because like, I think when I was younger, I probably, I wanted like more, I feel like I wanted more complicated men. Like I wanted more like Speaker 1 00:36:20 I do too. So that you felt like, like what? Speaker 2 00:36:24 No, I just mean like, well, usually they were assholes. I know I'm lying. When I say complicated, I really mean asshole. I think that, you know, cause they had to spit a certain type, you know, like they had to, they had certain criteria that they needed that needed to be met. But then, you know, like, I don't know, like as I've grown older, I'm just like that stuff doesn't actually matter. You just want somebody who is like kind of nice to you and just like likes who you for, who you are. So like, yeah. Like my criteria have totally changed over like the course of the course. Oh my gosh, no, no. Speaker 1 00:37:04 I'll say this. So elaborate when you say it's completely changed criteria. Not completely, Speaker 2 00:37:12 Not completely like obviously like, you know, it has to be somebody that you're like attracted to somebody like that. You can jokes with like the sense of humor, that type of thing. Like everybody, like it's kind of what everybody wants, but then like, I don't know. Like I always used to think that like they had to have certain, like, I always used to think that they would have to have certain jobs. Right. Like I was just like, oh, like they'd have to be like in the medical field or like in science or something, but like, like my partner now isn't and so it doesn't. And so like, you know, it's, it's, it's like extraneous things like that, that I used to think mattered, but really don't in the end, you know? So yeah. That's what I mean. It's, it's, it's not that all my criteria went out the window. It's just like, just some of them did because you just realized that they Speaker 1 00:37:56 Were, it doesn't matter, right? Yeah. Yeah. No, that's a good point actually. Yeah, no, I, I I've noticed that like if, if even in, um, friendships, right? Like the people that I choose to stay connected more with are just, you know, like I think somehow I value their time or their input in my life a lot, but in a different way. And it's because, you know, they bring some aspect of positivity and care and kindness. Um, and then even with men, like, you know, like when I connect with someone, it's like, you know, because they're usually like, you know, there's a more compatible compatibility and sense of humor or wanting same kind of things or how they treat people actually. Yeah. Um, that one matters a lot somehow. Yeah. Yeah. I don't think I actually noticed it as much. Yeah. We didn't think about it. Like, you know, how does a person treat other people other than me? Whereas now that's probably a criteria where it's like, are you actually kind just for the sake of being kind like, Speaker 2 00:38:58 Is this an innate part of your personality, as opposed to, you're just doing this just to look good in front of me. Speaker 1 00:39:06 Well, anyway, it was just interesting that way. But anyway, that was, that was just my week. Speaker 2 00:39:13 Yeah. So I don't know that we answered the question. Speaker 1 00:39:16 I think I just needed to talk it out and process it because it was just, I think it just took me aback where I was like, wait, have I changed? Is it for good? Is it for bad? You know, like what, what does it mean? Yeah, yeah, Speaker 2 00:39:30 Yeah. No. And I, and I have a feeling that like, I mean, obviously if we live longer, like I think that will probably continue to change over time. Right. And it's just, Speaker 1 00:39:40 Oh my God, wasn't there something that says, okay, that people are human cells or hair or something changes every seven years. Is that true? Speaker 2 00:39:49 Yeah. I think that th there are certain cells that will turn over every seven years, but there are other cells that don't get all there. They're all on their own different cycles, but like, yeah. Speaker 1 00:39:57 Oh, okay. I don't know why I thought of that. Actually. It has nothing to do with personality, but Speaker 2 00:40:02 Given that your brain cells do the same, don't get me wrong. I'm sure brain cells turn over, but they don't turn over that quickly. Speaker 1 00:40:19 Okay. And on that note, I'm going to stop talking right now. We're just going to stop much fun, making fun of me. So in my mind, my midlife crisis situation here, Speaker 2 00:40:36 I, I don't know if it was that much of a crisis. I think that like, I think yeah, on that. Okay. I think, yeah. So I think the conclusion is, is that you have changed, but it was just an adaptable change and get a core. Your core values have stayed the same. Oh my goodness. Although I am, actually, I am curious to know if that's actually the case. Cause I know that like insight, like in psychiatry, for example, like they don't usually diagnose personality disorders until after the age of like 18, because they figure that like your personality is still kind of lay bile until you're an adult. So I think 18 is hard kind of arbitrary because cause there are, there have been studies that have shown that like young adults don't actually, you know, you don't actually reach adulthood at 18. That is just kind of this random number that we've chosen as a society. Speaker 2 00:41:40 Or like even in other like, like in Ontario, you don't get your, you don't get your like adulthood until 19. So really doesn't make a difference. But like, but basically like, um, where was I going with this? So basically that like your personality, um, kind of becomes a little bit more fixed in young adulthood. So like early twenties. But uh, I don't know. I don't know. Sometimes I wonder about that. I'm like, is that really true? I don't know. Like sometimes I think to myself that like a lot of kids kind of show it, show their core part personalities, like pretty young and then like, and then, you know, you can kind of tweak your personality as you go older. So like is like is who you are at 25. Really? Like who you are. I don't know. I'd be, it'd be curious. I'd be curious to find out though. Speaker 1 00:42:27 Yeah, we should look into it, but not today because today, Speaker 2 00:42:31 Today was just about, I just needed to fill big helping process. But I do agree. I think that, I think we do tweak our personality. Like I think we tweak, I think personalities get tweaked over time. Speaker 1 00:42:52 Yeah. Okay. Speaker 2 00:42:57 All right. I guess, uh I'm I'm glad, I'm glad I was able to help you out there. I feel, I feel like productive today. I'm glad. Speaker 1 00:43:07 Uh, you know, I like to make other people feel productive in me. There you go. Speaker 2 00:43:21 Anyway, on that note, I guess we'll call it a, we'll call it a, an episode. We'll call it an episode. Speaker 1 00:43:27 That's our thing. Now the call it episode. Yeah. Yeah. We'll call it an episode here. So next week, we're not sure what we'll talk about, but clearly we have a lot of issues that we're working through, Speaker 2 00:43:42 But yeah, I I'd be, I'd be interested to know if our listeners have like, felt that they they've changed over time or that they've like, they feel like their personalities have kind of gotten like are significantly different from like their twenties versus their, you know, whatever they are at this age. So Speaker 1 00:43:59 Yeah. You find out actually, because a lot of the times we've had conversations where I'm like, oh my gosh, when I was 25, it was a completely different person. Yeah, Speaker 2 00:44:08 Yeah, exactly. Or I would never have done this. I would never have done this in my twenties. Yeah, exactly. Speaker 1 00:44:13 Yeah. Once, once I've settled my emotions, I will probably revert and say those things. So don't hold me to this conversation then. All right. I won't, I won't, Speaker 2 00:44:29 But I might remind you, I won't hold you to it, but I might remind you. Fair, fair. Fair enough. If I remember. All right. Speaker 1 00:44:42 Yeah. So until next week, um, in the meantime message us or DMS or tweet at us and uh, obviously all the social links can Speaker 0 00:44:50 Be found at does the snake. They look old stuff. Um, and uh, yeah. See you next week. Sounds good. Bye. Hi.